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June Getting/Staying Clean/Sober Thread v. Sober Summer Fun!

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What kind of pain? I mean is it emotional or physical? You cant really do too much other than distracting yourself from the pain unless you have some idea what it is or what is causing it, even if you dont what exactly what the cause is. Distraction only is a stopgap mwasure though, and its effectiveness is very limited.
For me, the pain is my lower back. I pulled it bad, over two weeks and no improvement. I think I was asking another member what kind of pain.
since you responded I wanted to reply. that is the whole reason I found BL since I'm an addict and trying to keep my pain management in check. I did have to take a pain pill and I took less than usual hoping it will work. I don't know my exact dose Because of the obvious.
 
For me, the pain is my lower back. I pulled it bad, over two weeks and no improvement. I think I was asking another member what kind of pain.
since you responded I wanted to reply. that is the whole reason I found BL since I'm an addict and trying to keep my pain management in check. I did have to take a pain pill and I took less than usual hoping it will work. I don't know my exact dose Because of the obvious.

Have you tried MBSR? It was developed for chronic pain patients to better manage their pain without having to only rely on analgesics and painkillers.
 
I did it..! I called up my doc and told him to never give me oxies again. He was pleasantly surprised and agreed, of course. So, there, that's done.
 
Good job. Realizing ones own limitations is important to having a decent life without drugs.
 
Woke up at 8 this morning for a 2 mile run. Took it slow so finished in about 18 mins which I'm ok with considering I've been smoking cigarettes. Cut back a lot though. About 4 a day. Going to starting waking up earlier and earlier and trying to get that 2 mile time down. Then increase mileage and find some hills to incorporate. Then 3 days a week I will weight train and so calisthenics on the other days. I was so energized this morning my friend swore I had just chugged two red bulls. Yeah I'm loving this energy. And the sleep you get when you exert yourself throughout the day, words can't describe. If you struggle with insomnia take note. Dead serious fellas.

Smoothie pro tip: adding peanut butter will mask the taste of those veggies you don't like but know you should eat. And it's a good sound of protein. I personally love all veggies and fruits but still add some PB because it had a lot of calories.

Anyways, sorry for the rambling. Just feeling really pumped and want to encourage everyone to take control of their health. It enhances every aspect of my life.



"No man has the right to be an amateur in the matter of physical training. It is a shame for a man to grow old without seeing the beauty and strength of which his body is capable."


-Socrates


 
Still sober,going to a new church tonight, I like the minister a lot he's good been going to a Bible study he runs.
 
I wished my w/ds were completely over as I'm turning 25 today, but they aren't. Oh well, getting closer to the end and I'm able to go out and do stuff again. So that's something at least I guess.

Gonna keep logging my progress here I think, it's good to write out my thoughts atm.
 
I'm gonna be 34 in a couple of days, not really feeling old, though...

Good luck to everyone in staying clean/sober. I have almost 4 months without any mind-altering chemicals at the moment. :)
 
I wished my w/ds were completely over as I'm turning 25 today, but they aren't. Oh well, getting closer to the end and I'm able to go out and do stuff again. So that's something at least I guess.

Gonna keep logging my progress here I think, it's good to write out my thoughts atm.
Happy Burthday! I read that you are able to go out now, that is a mile stone. Glad to hear.
 
I hear ya SMA on the whole exercise thing. It's like activity begets activity. Lately before I've gone to bed (been getting good, drug-free-besides-weed sleep lately) I'll simply stretch and it feels really good...feeling everything just be taut, every sinew and muscle ready. Been consuming a high-caloric diet (heavy on healthy fat & lean protein) and that's been helping a lot too...3 large meals every day. Fuel for the engine.

Sometimes I question how healthy what I'm doing is long-term. My father is from the same profession I'm from, and he has pretty extensive orthopedic problems, spinal surgery, long term pain management patient, the works. My mother was also in the same line of work and her hands are riddled with bad arthritis from decades of work requiring fine motor skills (picking fish out of gillnets, mending and hanging nets, etc). My own hands are swollen and calloused and peeling and look like they're turning into fucking claws. I don't care though...actually it feels pretty good. I feel constantly sore and physically spent but at least I feel SOMETHING now, other than just ennui/depression and pain from my own inertia and unhealthy lifestyle.

I did have a lung problem but that's getting better. Gradually but noticeably. Mentally, my outlook has almost never been better. No bullshit. My anxiety has lessened and I just feel at peace. It's amazing how good it feels to just be content with yourself and calm...one of my co-workers recently said that I looked very "aloof" lately. LOL. They have no idea. The amount of stress and miserable bullshit that I saddled on myself before going back to work was unbelievable. It felt suffocating. It's so liberating not to have to deal with any of it anymore! So liberating! I'm enjoying it immensely. :)

I'm only about 1 month clean from opiates, though, having consumed my last bit of bupe at that time in order to come off a tar binge, so I'm hardly out of the woods yet...but I'm enjoying the feeling while it lasts
 
I can't wait to be off these meds. My bro is in town....we are gunna work on some music...and workout like crazed italians.

burnt offerings: One month is no small feat considering you were a daily or near daily user. Consider this for a second; I have spent nearly my entire life high, the adventure is being sober. Look at your life that way. It is a zany adventure! I learn something new about myself everyday. If I cease to learn, I might as well end it, for living my life in stagnation is no way that I wish to live.

I find myself laying in bed sometimes wondering how I got here... I find it mind blowing that I am still alive and retain most of the parts of my mentality that make me myself. For so many years I devoted most of my days trying so hard to drown out my thoughts with liquor and drugs...now that I am clean and sound of mind (or relatively so) I find it amazing that after so much abuse I put my body and mind through that I am still able to wakeup in the morning on the right side of the sod. Anyone else consider the things they have done, the risks they have taken, the damage they have done and get blown away by the fact that you are not in prison, dead, or lock away in a psych ward for life?
 
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I can't wait to be off these meds. My bro is in town....we are gunna work on some music...and workout like crazed italians.

burnt offerings: One month is no small feat considering you were a daily or near daily user. Consider this for a second; I have spent nearly my entire life high, the adventure is being sober. Look at your life that way. It is a zany adventure! I learn something new about myself everyday. If I cease to learn, I might as well end it, for living my life in stagnation is no way that I wish to live.

I find myself laying in bed sometimes wondering how I got here... I find it mind blowing that I am still alive and retain most of the parts of my mentality that make me myself. For so many years I devoted most of my days trying so hard to drown out my thoughts with liquor and drugs...now that I am clean and sound of mind (or relatively so) I find it amazing that after so much abuse I put my body and mind through that I am still able to wakeup in the morning on the right side of the sod. Anyone else consider the things they have done, the risks they have taken, the damage they have done and get blown away by the fact that you are not in prison, dead, or lock away in a psych ward for life?

Can't believe I haven't killed myself yet / intentionally tried to OD. Never thought I would live to 25, I used to be so depressed. If my mom and brother weren't around, I would have offed myself for sure.

Close to a year ago I said I would quit drugs and just stick to drinking alcohol. But now I can't even drink alcohol anymore thanks to my piece of shit stomach... used to go home and drink a beer after work every day, and all of a sudden I had to stop that completely.

Also no more snorting, my lungs are messed up. Don't plan on plugging on IV'ing.

That's why opiates are so tempting since they're a lot easier on my stomach. I don't have any more numbers so I have to cold cop, but I'm scared of all the fent + potentially getting arrested. I'm jealous of literally everyone else I know my age being able to drink alcohol. Is it so bad to have opiates every once in a while...

"Life sucks and then you die" ~ Vince McMahon
 
Can't believe I haven't killed myself yet / intentionally tried to OD. Never thought I would live to 25, I used to be so depressed. If my mom and brother weren't around, I would have offed myself for sure.

Close to a year ago I said I would quit drugs and just stick to drinking alcohol. But now I can't even drink alcohol anymore thanks to my piece of shit stomach... used to go home and drink a beer after work every day, and all of a sudden I had to stop that completely.

Also no more snorting, my lungs are messed up. Don't plan on plugging on IV'ing.

That's why opiates are so tempting since they're a lot easier on my stomach. I don't have any more numbers so I have to cold cop, but I'm scared of all the fent + potentially getting arrested. I'm jealous of literally everyone else I know my age being able to drink alcohol. Is it so bad to have opiates every once in a while...

"Life sucks and then you die" ~ Vince McMahon

Some days I can't believe I haven't killed myself yet either.
 
Can't believe I haven't killed myself yet / intentionally tried to OD. Never thought I would live to 25, I used to be so depressed. If my mom and brother weren't around, I would have offed myself for sure.

Close to a year ago I said I would quit drugs and just stick to drinking alcohol. But now I can't even drink alcohol anymore thanks to my piece of shit stomach... used to go home and drink a beer after work every day, and all of a sudden I had to stop that completely.

Also no more snorting, my lungs are messed up. Don't plan on plugging on IV'ing.

That's why opiates are so tempting since they're a lot easier on my stomach. I don't have any more numbers so I have to cold cop, but I'm scared of all the fent + potentially getting arrested. I'm jealous of literally everyone else I know my age being able to drink alcohol. Is it so bad to have opiates every once in a while...

"Life sucks and then you die" ~ Vince McMahon

I'm guessing you've tried kratom?

Kratom is pretty good if you're looking for a opiate/opioid-type drug, IMO, that combines relative safety, legality & enjoyable psychoactive effects. You have to be honest with yourself about your desire to be "sober", though, if that's your goal, because drugs like kratom or weed, while not particularly addictive on their own IMO/IME, can nevertheless lead some people back to their "problem drug". While others can moderate their usage of one particular drug successfully, while avoiding another drug they had problems with, and be satisfied with that. All depends on the individual I guess.
 
I'm guessing you've tried kratom?

Kratom is pretty good if you're looking for a opiate/opioid-type drug, IMO, that combines relative safety, legality & enjoyable psychoactive effects. You have to be honest with yourself about your desire to be "sober", though, if that's your goal, because drugs like kratom or weed, while not particularly addictive on their own IMO/IME, can nevertheless lead some people back to their "problem drug". While others can moderate their usage of one particular drug successfully, while avoiding another drug they had problems with, and be satisfied with that. All depends on the individual I guess.

This is very true. A lot of the times I had tried to quit in the past I hadn't been fully ready to stop. I held onto reservations and I always ended up using in the end. This time I have an intense desire to stay sober and a willingness to do whatever it takes.

CH: I had a suicide attempt while I was living in New York. I couldn't deal with the things that happened with my ex, and I was having a hard time accepting that I had relapsed and started using and drinking harder than I ever had before. I had a massive resurgence of my OCD and Depression symptoms. There are a lot of journal entries that I wrote "If I can't stop or things don't get better for me by age thirty I will end it." I am so glad I didn't....I am thirty three now and I have a much healthier appreciation for life. I can finally accept that for a long time my life was extremely shitty but it was a result of my own actions. I can actually recognize the good that is happening rather than always dealing in the negative. I had to realize my role in the bad things that happened. It is good for me to go back through my journal and read what I had written because it keeps it fresh in my mind that I want to live.
 
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