4 weeks on from bad trip, looking for advice

[FollowingAdvixe]

Hi all, hope this is the right place to post this. About 4ish weeks ago I tried my first acid-like drug with some friends. We had 150ug of AL-LAD and tripped together. The other 2 people I was with said they tripped for about 6 hours and enjoyed it. The first few hours were incredible for me, but after about 3 hours I think I panicked or something and had a very bad trip where I was forced to think about a lot of psychological/philosophical things, such as whether or not other people are real and whether or not I am alone in the universe, what happens when I die etc, and I saw a lot of dark things in my mind, such as myself getting lost in the trip forever. After about 12 hours the feelings wore off, with the visuals having worn off for the most part significantly before that. The next day I woke up feeling pretty much normal, although a bit shaken, and resumed living life. I remained feeling completely normal for about 3 weeks until 8 days ago, when I had a sort of panic about what was real and what wasn't, over the course of the day of an exam (unfortunately the exam went pretty bad, as expected). Since then, the sensations haven't subsided and the same sort of surreal thoughts have been plaguing me and I have felt very anxious, very low and pretty disconnected, although I feel mostly lucid. I have tried to just stay with people I trust and endure the feelings. I have no history of mental illness, and I have talked to a couple of helplines and a doctor. They said that they hoped it would pass and there was no good medicating for it, which didn't surprise me and I'm wary of anti-psychotics anyway because I've heard about side-effects (although I'm sure there is a lot of misinformation out there), but sitting tight and waiting for it to pass is quite grim. It is a struggle to get through each day, although it has only been a week, and I feel pretty scared. Should I be as worried as I feel? Is there any advice to get me through the recovery (if I am recovering)? Should I be working on thought patterns or something similar to help? How long could I expect this to last? Thanks for reading

 

[w0w0mg]

It sounds like you're having a little bit of PTSD.
You should recover over time.
Just keep away from those kinds of drugs, or any drugs, if you can.
Eventually you will get back to feeling 100%.
Sometimes it can take several months to feel better.

 

[chasingabee]

Yeah, I've been there as well and it took me a few months to completely recover, but you will recover.

 

[FollowingAdvixe]

Thanks a lot, yes I'm definitely not going anywhere near psychedelic drugs again.
A few minutes ago I was walking around outside and I had real difficulty convincing myself that the real world was real, still feeling very surreal. Hoping this passes.

 

[w0w0mg]

It will I'm sure - Just keep a positive mind set!
Best of luck to you!

 

[herbavore]

Thanks a lot, yes I'm definitely not going anywhere near psychedelic drugs again.
A few minutes ago I was walking around outside and I had real difficulty convincing myself that the real world was real, still feeling very surreal. Hoping this passes.

I have a very concrete suggestion for you: when that happens (everything feels unreal) try getting inside the sensation or the perception of it without the fear. Because it is the fear and the anxiety that the fear will continue that is really the problem. Perceiving that the world may not be as real as it seems and that we are truly alone on some level can be unsettling but it can also just be interesting. Do an exercise when it next happens--just concentrate on breathing, on feeling the breath come into your lungs and go out of your lungs. Every time a fearful thought arises, observe it from the outside and try to let it go. If you simply cannot let the fear go, try logic on it: ask if it makes one iota of difference if the world is truly real or not. You still are breathing, the floor is still under your feet and the sky is still overhead. Center yourself as much as possible in your body and let your mind rest from thoughts. Concentrate on physical sensations--temperature, the wind (or lack of wind) etc.

This will pass but take it as an opportunity to learn rather than a horror to be endured. I really believe that if you can unharness the fear from those thoughts they will simply become part of your human experience and they may seem intriguing and interesting rather than frightening.

Also--pay attention to your diet and sleep patterns. When you are experiencing mental anxiety, that is always the best place to start.

 

[FollowingAdvixe]

Hey just a quick update, I'm feeling a lot better now still not 100%, but the week or two of powerful sensations have passed and I'm getting back to normality.

Can't thank you enough for your advice.

In time I might reflect on the experience and consider what I learned from it, but right now I'm just happy to be consistently free from it.

Thanks again!

 

[w0w0mg]

That's awesome! Great job mate. Keep staying positive and everything gets better, I promise.

 

[HYDRO_CHRONIC]

I used to get these feelings before I even touched a drug or alcohol.I started questioning everything.and panic would set In and it was terrifying.everything felt fake.i didn't feel real.later I found out its derealization combined with panic attacks.but then I was pressured into trying LSD just one blotter .but it was enough to really fuck my world up panic set in and I was stuck for 12 hours of that I think I had ptsd after that cause everything scared the shit out of me that changed the way the world was supposed to be.well downers.gaba drugs didnt but I'm sure you see where I'm coming from

 

[socko]

I have a very concrete suggestion for you: when that happens (everything feels unreal) try getting inside the sensation or the perception of it without the fear. Because it is the fear and the anxiety that the fear will continue that is really the problem. Perceiving that the world may not be as real as it seems and that we are truly alone on some level can be unsettling but it can also just be interesting. Do an exercise when it next happens--just concentrate on breathing, on feeling the breath come into your lungs and go out of your lungs. Every time a fearful thought arises, observe it from the outside and try to let it go. If you simply cannot let the fear go, try logic on it: ask if it makes one iota of difference if the world is truly real or not. You still are breathing, the floor is still under your feet and the sky is still overhead. Center yourself as much as possible in your body and let your mind rest from thoughts. Concentrate on physical sensations--temperature, the wind (or lack of wind) etc.

This will pass but take it as an opportunity to learn rather than a horror to be endured. I really believe that if you can unharness the fear from those thoughts they will simply become part of your human experience and they may seem intriguing and interesting rather than frightening.

Also--pay attention to your diet and sleep patterns. When you are experiencing mental anxiety, that is always the best place to start.

This worked for me after I went through a rough leg on a trip when I was 17. I treated it like it was PTSD, and did breathing and yoga exercises whenever I was threatened to be overcome by the surreal feeling that life here is a collective hallucination in a hell world out of the Bardo Thödol. I wrote down the things i was forced to think about. I'm still not sure if my perception was real or a dellusion, but I've come to accept it. One other thing that helped, and this is contrary to what everybody said, was to take the same dose about a month later, but in a better setting. Whenever the bad feelings and thoughts emerged, I was able to accept them and relax.
Remember,

DON'T PANIC

 

[mountainrange]

Instead of running from these ideas, embrace them. When they crop out - ask them what their purpose is. Say, you think the world isn't real. You could say to yourself; well it is and I know it is because I feel, I hear, I see and I can breath and I know it is real because I know we live on a planet called Earth and I know that because we have satellites orbiting the world and I've seen many beautiful pictures of it. If you begin to feel like you are walking away from reality, embrace it. What is happening? How are you feeling? Where is it taking you? The truth is, if you play with these thoughts the chances are they will offer you no fight whatsoever and will fizzle out with just a little smidgen of logic and reasoning. I get it quite often when I get anxiety or something bugs me and I go into the thought, I embrace it and I question it objectively. Say, I'm in a restaurant and there are a tonne of people around me. I play around with what thought and I don't let it consume me and if I do then I embrace the consuming power of it and it just fades out.

It sounds like you may be having mild delusions from what you said that could of been caused by the trauma you faced from the power of the trip and how it consumed you and you felt like you had little control. Research into these drugs is very important and I'm not sure how much research you did but many problems occur because lack of knowledge is the culprit. Or it could of just been the sheer intensity of the trip and how it managed to pry open your mind which you must of found uncomfortable and the sheer force of how the drug encouraged you to think in such unusual, weird and wonderful ways may of freaked you out but in psychedelics - this is normal.

Many things can come to your mind. Some that please you others that disturb you. It's usually the disturbing content that has more 'truth' to it than the pleasing content. It's common for psychedelics to dismantle your ego and thereafter they can pick apart at your very existence. You may have repressed content deep in your mind, you may have bad memories, you may have insecurities or qualms or woes about something in-particular or deep set anxieties. Psychedelics will bring these out into the open and you may not know where they come from or specifically what is causing you to feel like you do but it could be repressed content. Psychotherapists back in the sixties used LSD in this way because it broken open the heads of their clients and they digressed accounts of their life in the most graphic yet meaningful of ways and in the right setting, it can be very therapeutic and healing and why LSD was for the best part up until it exploded into the street - legal.

It sounds like it was an overwhelming experience and something that as a result has had this effect on you. Embrace it and carry on. It's perfectly normal to have the sort of experience you did. It's learning that not everything you get from a trip is to be taken as sacrosanct and the absolute truth but many things you experience on your trip you learn about yourself and those experiences can be very rewarding and beneficial to your mental health as a whole. It would be up to you to try them again, if you did, you'd be best taken it in a different environment preferably out in nature and away from people and places and have a roam around, be free, be wild, be open and see where the experience takes you. If you were cooped inside your friends bedroom or somewhere sinister or unappealing then that can affect your trip. Set and setting is very important.

Hope you recover well

 

[chemicalprisoner]

This is why I joined this site I have been dealing with this for 8 years (it's not all terrible) stay away from caffine and THC this will make things worse at first. It's up to you but alcohol is a quick fix you will feel "weighted" and the abyss of those empty infinite loop thoughts will no longer seem a threat. I have been to proffesionals for this they will tell you drinking or any drug will make it worse buts it's so you don't start using a crutch but I got clonazepam for it I was diagnosed with PTSD (hypocritical I know) the solution is time and understanding stay busy it's going to be a while your brain recycles itself every five years that's the longest it will last if you cannot find a way to cope. After a while you'll be way to familiar with the feeling and it will become a minor annoyance.

 

[FnX]

My first psychedelic experience was an ayahuasca overdose which left me traumatized for years. One thing that really terrified me was this fear of infinity. Everything is infinite, including me, energy doesn't disappear it just changes form. I didn't want to be infinite, it felt like the worst possible prison there can be. No escape, trapped forever. Everywhere I saw something infinite, for a simple example let's say an "infinity mirror setup" (two mirrors pointing at each other) I would get triggers of debilitating anxiety. I tried to ignore it, divert my attention elsewhere when these thoughts came, but I was just postponing dealing with it for years. Fractals scared the shit out of me.

I don't think meds like anti-psychotics help, they just cloud your head and make it harder to come to terms with the underlying issue. I resolved my issues by accepting and embracing them. Everything is infinite, so what? This body that fears infinity is finite, suddenly infinity wasn't as threatening. How can I ever be sure what is 'real' and what isn't? Isn't the reality we experience subjective anyway? What the hell is reality anyway? Thoughts and concepts we create through language can imprison us, but they can also set us free. Learning to go with the flow really helps, but I know it's not always easy. For me this means that there is little reason to start doubting reality in the first place in the sense that it just feels unreal in a manner or another. I experience what I experience, that's all to it.

 

[d0wN]

I had a similar experience many years ago. You will recover. The one permanent effect it had on me is that if I get too high on weed I get that panic-y feeling that I'm about to head back to that netherworld I inhabited that night. So just a heads up. Other than that, no lingering effects.

 

[livelight]

Yeah I think we've all been there, some are worse than other but what can we do right?

I first tried lsd when I was 15, 19 now and I remember making an account on here to ask for advice just like you. I was panicking, everything just seemed "off" and I knew deep down I was not the same person I was before taking it. I had a horrific experience coming off as it set in the thought of existence and reality. I couldn't help but to question my surroundings, myself, my mind, life just everything.. it got to the point where I became depressed. It took me a long time to accept what I was feeling, but it was only because I was afraid of change, afraid to let go. Still to this day I battle with the thoughts in the back of my mind but I have become more open and wise, turn the negative into a positive and see where it takes you.. you can learn a lot just by admiring the beauty around you.. you will be the person you need to be, but you have to explore what the world has to offer.. reality.. scary.. you become what you think so don't be afraid, it will pass and something new will come..

Hope you are okay, know you are not alone.