34 days smoking meth. Help! Comedown/withdrawal

[Artist12000]

Smoking crystal meth daily 34 days HELP! Comedown/withdrawal
I'm a healthy 37 year old. (When sober)
I have tried crystal meth (smoking) a few times in the last 3 years or so, for a night both years apart. This last time was exactly one month ago today. I have smoked daily since. 4-5 times through day and late night. I'd say 5 puffs per session, with an average of 4-6 hours sleep. Maybe once or twice a week no sleep. These last 2 weeks going through 3.5 g a week.
Since I have limited experience with crystal method comedown/withdrawal I would love help, advice, what to expect?
I have had issues with alcohol in the past but no illegal drugs. I've been through Hellish alcohol withdrawal. D,t,s / panick / literally dry heaving for 13 hours straight in bed for a week after a 3-7 day alcohol binge with no food or water. I do have an addictive/ mild OCD type A personality.
I'm having severe anxiety from Meth and do not seem to even get high anymore. All I do now after smoking is read hundreds of posts and blogs on the net about crystal and its affects etc. I WANT OFF. I want to nip this in the bud before it progresses any further. I will comedown this Monday. That is when my schedule allows a week for recovery. I also have some Xanax. Which I have no tolerance for. Haven't taken them in a few years at least.
Can I do this alone? My face is red and I have begun to see sagging at the corners of my mouth. My forearms and hands are red and slightly swollen. Also is a month considered "long term" or "short term" use? I would think short term but cannot find the answer online.
I have been drinking a TON of water a day, every day. Have eaten fruit and sandwich everyday aswell as drinking an couple of Ensure protein drinks. ANYONE? Who has quit after a month, or is well versed o this topic, has advice or suggestions... Please respond. Mostly interested in what to expect! I think in my brain I've built this comedown to be a monster.
Thank you all.

 

[SS373dOH]

A months use is not considered long term use, however it is a fairly large binge, but youre making the right decision to nip it in the butt! The redness and swelling could be a result from increased body temperature.

You can quit alone, however it would be easier with support. Now as far as what you can expect, symptoms of sudden cessation can include; insomnia, depression, mood swings, irritability, delusions, hypertension, heart arrhythmia, decreased appetite, aggression, confusion, and increased respiratory rate. You may experience some or all of these. Just make sure youre eating healthy meals.and stay hydrated! If youre having trouble sleeping or having anxiety issues, you can take the xanax to alleviate them. As you are benzo naive, .25-.5mg, would be a good starting dose. If you havent felt relief after an hour or two, you can take another .25-.5mg. Make sure you swallow the xanax, as this has the best bioavailability. Also be aware that benzo dependency can occur within just a few days of use, so only take them on a "need to" basis.

Writing about what youre going through helps tremendously! So if youre having cravings, or the goings starting to get tough, come onto BL and post what youre going through on this thread! Most of us on here sincerely care about others and will be pulling for and willing to support you through this tough time! Good luck bud, stay strong!


- Hopeless Soul

 

[Artist12000]

Thank you so much for your reply and kind words. I will take your advice with the Xanax. And I will also take your advice and when "the going gets tough" sign in here and "write" it out instead of trying to get more. I'm scared. Like I said ive been to hell and back with alcohol but this is my first go at meth. Thank you again.

 

[NoLiver]

7nos posted the basics. Keep the negative after-effects in mind, so you know it was only caused by the drug if you notice something unusual.
You won't completely go crazy propably if you can calm yourself. For a few days you might be able to feel like a schizophrenic, interesting experience. But no panic, in most cases where people get a bit psychotic it's reversible when your brain regenerates.
Don't obsess about something, try to do at least a bit activity even when your body feels like shit. Just staying in the bed is possible in the first 2 days, after that its not good for your mood. Don't fall into depression. When you get delusional, affirm that you're wrong. Talk to trusted friends/family if necessary to get down.

You will feel better by just walking outside, even after only 500metres. That would be the best: eating, sleeping, activity (if you are mentally "empty" at least something physical). Worst-case meds aren't a bad idea, too. If you feel you need some more sedating then xanax won't be the best choice: it's mainly anxiolytic. Diazepam or other more sedating BZD would be better then with also anxiolytic effects. (No opposition - just a note. 7nos is right.)

 

[SS373dOH]

Well the good news is, it wont be as bad as alcohol withdrawal! That is a whole 'nother ballgame. Fear not bud, the physical side effects are almost nothing. (In comparison to opiate/benzo/alcohol wd), most of the issues are psychological, and are relatively short lived.

Yep just come on here and write what youre going through, theres plenty of people on here that will support you. If youre feeling scared or overwhelmed by the situation, you can pm me, I usually keep bl open, so most likely, I will respond swiftly. Just keep reminding yourself of the awesome thing youre doing right now, and give yourself a damn pat on the back!


- Hopeless Soul

 

[NoLiver]

Well the good news is, it wont be as bad as alcohol withdrawal!

Not as intensive, but in my opinion a bit longer lasting mostly mental withdrawal. After taking Amph for 2 weeks i need at least the same time to feel better (esp. depression, lack of motivation).

But, for sure! Even heavy amphetamine-psychosis with suicidal thoughts was a joke compared to my alcohol-withdrawal-delirium:

Spoiler: It was...

The first time i really heard voices suggesting to kill myself, mocking and taunting me. Everyone who was not clinic staff was here to make me completely freak out systematically. Saw non-existant people locking the doors or singing funny about me. When i looked into a book, a voice in my head read it to me but i wasnt able to see the meaning of this sentences.
I was overwhelmed but lucky to be in the hospital already. Went to the staff and got lots of Lorazepam and Haloperidol. Absolutely nasty shit!

 

[Raysu]

All sage advice IMO. To contribute my personal experience I will say that coming off speed (meth, coke/crack, bath salt, amphetamines) is the kindest wd. Aside from excessive sleep and mild symptoms it was totally manageable on my own and as you have Xanax to help then I believe it will be way easier than you fear. Best of luck to you! You got this!!

 

[Artist12000]

Thanks guys. I don't know how one night turned into a month. I guess that's the "trick" of CM. seriously relieved to hear it won't be as bad as alcohol. I've detoxes myself off alcohol nimerous times when I had no business doing so. Dangerous. Although the hallucinations never really scared me. I'm sure I will be panicked. I have mild(ish) OCD and anxiety sober. What scares me the most is just not having the willpower to scramble for a connect the minute I get scared. I can deal with the physical. Thanks again.

 

[NoLiver]

What scares me the most is just not having the willpower to scramble for a connect the minute I get scared.

Could you explain that in another way? I think its my fault that i'm not able to interpret the sence of your statement. 8( Is it related to your C consume or actual state of mind?

Maybe "48h-insomnia-brain-barrier".

 

[Artist12000]

I'm scared that I will not have the yes mental will power to not resist the craving for more. And then in turn go searching for it.

 

[NoLiver]

Same here, but with vaping H instead.

Very lucky that here is not so much with Meth, im an upper-junkie and would vape it definitely because im very interested in vaping stimulants. Better availability of this stuff would be propably my dead.

The craving of vaped Meth is comparised almost to injected one because of the instant rush, you know it. U felt the first ROA many times, i guess
Good luck quitting it and make it w/o in the future! Important: Taking absolutely nothing of this stuff again. You just found out that you propably won't be able to handle this stuff "next time" or "after that" and so on...


How to exactly describe the "rush" of vaped CM? What do you feel in the seconds after inhaling?

 

[Artist12000]

Update

So...7nos-SS373dOH and everyone who lent their kind words and support in response to my last post. Which re-reading I find a little frantic;/ Here is an update;

Well... It has been it has been 43 hours since my last inhale. Night before last I slept a total of 20 minutes getting out of bed around 11am (Los Angeles time). I ate a banana and protein meal replacement shake. I took all my vitamins and decided to just relax and stay in bed with my pup. Yesterday I just felt, tired but awake/ run down a bit/ general feeling of BLAH..nothing drastic.
After lunch/dinner a big turkey sandwich, an avocado, glass of milk. I noticed no swelling in my hands and arms. Minimal circulation issues. Face is bit red but not nearly as bad as when using. All of these symptoms are minimal compared to when I was using the past couple weeks and re-dosing (too often, and often too much I'm convinced).
My OCD has been turned up a notch. Everything looks slightly dirty. I almost got up and cleaned the Windows, which would have resulted in me wiping them down for an hour straight, and never being satisfied with the outcome. OCD, I know you all too well at this point. So I declined. Also, certain things, my dogs food, and water coming from the faucet has an aqua tint to it. Vision is still hazy/blurry which has gotten better over the last 40 hours and counting.

Ok... So NO disrespect for anyone who has endured horrific , hellish comedowns and whithdrawals from meth. I believe them to be true. Body Chemistry is different from person to person. But.... If this is the comedown (which I realize I may not has fully experienced yet) it's Fucking rainbows & unicorns compared to my mildest alcohol withdrawal. The worst being hospitalized or literally laying on the cold bathroom floor. Heaving up stomach bile for 13 hours straight. Drenched in sweat.
If this is the comedown. I got this. Not to sound arrogant at all. I am just feeling resolute for now in my decision to stop!
This being my first time with meth. I guess I attribute what I consider an "easy time" to the fact that; I almost obsessively made sure that I drank atleast a gallon and a half if oxygen infused water every 24 hour period over this month long run. I also ate (some) food a couple times a day. I never went without sleep for more more than one night in a row. Averaging maybe 4 hours a night. I lost 11 pounds. I'm 5 feet, 9.5 inches tall. And normally 130 pounds. I'm now 119. Too thin for my taste. My job requires me to keep a certain weight/measurements. But underweight is never a prob for them. I have seen and heard of peeps losing 25 lbs. in a month ;/

Last night I took .5 Xanax. I slept for 9 hours ?????. Today was much of the same accept I didn't stay in bed. I took my dog for a walk. And did some lite housework. General feeling today was the same. Tired, a little foggy. My mood is fine. No depression. I know what depression is. An alcohol binge used to devastate me into a dark hole. I have noticed I get a little weepy quite easily. Commercials...hehe or any sentimental thought results in tears. Overall I will say the hardest part was the actual DECISION that enough was enough. When the last of the supply ran out NOT contacting my connect and just continuing was the hardest part for me of this whole ordeal. And towards the end , chasing the high was more frustrating and unenjoyable than the last few days have been.

Yesterday, no cravings. Today, I have caught myself a few times romanticizing smoking. More the ritual of smoking and inhaling it than missing the actaual affect. Weird? And I'm sure these cravings will come and go for a while. Manageable so far. The cravings came and were short lived when I focused on something else. I think that the difficult period for ME Personally will come ( as it has happened in the past with booze) 3 weeks, 3 mos., 3 years from now when the urge hits me. Of course being an addict I will choose to remember the euphoria of the first couple days using and not the devastation, and aftermath meth causes.

So that's the deal. My last couple days. Tomorrow who knows I may write a post counteracting this one. Describing day three as the dirtiest demon I've ever encountered! Paceing the floor like a mad woman! I hope not. AGAIN, thank you all for your support.
7nos-SS373dOH , when you said in one of your responses
"Just keep reminding yourself of the awesome thing youre doing right now." Really helped. I repeated that to myself several times over the last few days/nights.
I will be frequenting this site regularly and keeping up with all your posts. I hope I can return the favor and lend words that ease. If ever in need. XOXO

 

[Atmozfears]

All I do now after smoking is read hundreds of posts and blogs on the net about crystal and its affects etc.

I feel you.. I did this today for about 15 hours straight then just constantly refreshed Bluelight and Reddit for ..who even knows how many hours. Still am doing it but the meth is long gone. I hate this shit but I love it so much at the same time. I broke my pipe because I kept going back to it to try and smoke resin. I'm afraid this will spiral out of control quite quickly. Good luck to you!

 

[Artist12000]

Atmozfears have you stopped? Crushing that sh*t is the only way to go! Good for you! If you haven't...You can stop! I did close to 48 hours ago. I was using daily for one month. It has been easier than I expected.... BUT if you make the decision because you truly want better for yourself and STICK to it. YOU can do it. Xoxo
Best of luck and be safe!

 

[Atmozfears]

Thank you! I'm having a pretty shitty time right now and am feeling suicidal and whatnot but I am sure I can overcome this once I catch some zZzz's in a bit here. I'm glad you're doing good! Props to you for overcoming the beast.

 

[Artist12000]

I hate to hear the suicidal thoughts thing. That's nothing to mess with. If you need help please reach out. This crap is not worth your life. But it's overwhelming I know ;/ . Sleep helps!!! Be safe! SLEEP!

 

[Raysu]

Great shares everyone! And artist I too found myself romanticizing about the pipe more than the product for a while. Like I posted earlier I found speed comedians to be the kindest of all. Most I just caught up on sleep and felt refreshed being able to eat again. Other substances I've had nasty wds with and intense cravings. I found once I was about three days past use I didn't feel the slightest pull towards using meth again (or coke or other speed drugs for that matter). Granted if it was in my face it would be hard to turn down but even the usual things didn't trigger me. I think you'll find you are in the clear by now and it's great that you made that choice after only a month. It took me years to do that and I'd screwed up a lot of my life in that time. And atmozfears I can relate with the suicidal feelings. They seemed to follow in general for about two or three weeks when I'd cut off everything cold turkey. At the time I thought it would never go away and I was miserable but I knew for me it was just my body readjusting after cutting out stuff it was used to. I'd cry at happy songs in the radio even and felt horribly sad and alone but it did go away. I've had a history of suicide attempts. I could tell these feelings were different but I don't know how to explain it...maybe like PMS where the feelings are real but I know not really me and that they will pass. If this doesn't sound right to you or you do fear for your safety please confide in someone who can help or can be with you!

 

[KittyKat13]

I hate to hear the suicidal thoughts thing. That's nothing to mess with. If you need help please reach out. This crap is not worth your life. But it's overwhelming I know ;/ . Sleep helps!!! Be safe! SLEEP!

For me, sleep helps more than anything really - even helps the depression alot. Benadryl (diphenhydramine), hydroxyzine anddoxylamine (found in some unisom formulas)all tend to "re-amp" me unfortunately, but luckily https://www.google.com/search?q=doxylamine&start=0&spell=1I recently found an all natural, otc sleep aid that has really helped me and seems to be very safe (unless of course you are allergic to any of it's ingredients) It's called Alteril, contains melatonin, L-tryptophan and valerian root and costs about $20 for a 30 day supply at most drugs stores. Seems to be a good combination. Some people take just the melatonin or L- tryptophan with good results, but please be advised that taking Valerian root alone can actually inhibit the production of melatonin. I hope this helps bring some safe, restful nights to anyone who could use them!

 

[SS373dOH]

So...7nos-SS373dOH and everyone who lent their kind words and support in response to my last post. Which re-reading I find a little frantic;/ Here is an update;

Well... It has been it has been 43 hours since my last inhale. Night before last I slept a total of 20 minutes getting out of bed around 11am (Los Angeles time). I ate a banana and protein meal replacement shake. I took all my vitamins and decided to just relax and stay in bed with my pup. Yesterday I just felt, tired but awake/ run down a bit/ general feeling of BLAH..nothing drastic.
After lunch/dinner a big turkey sandwich, an avocado, glass of milk. I noticed no swelling in my hands and arms. Minimal circulation issues. Face is bit red but not nearly as bad as when using. All of these symptoms are minimal compared to when I was using the past couple weeks and re-dosing (too often, and often too much I'm convinced).
My OCD has been turned up a notch. Everything looks slightly dirty. I almost got up and cleaned the Windows, which would have resulted in me wiping them down for an hour straight, and never being satisfied with the outcome. OCD, I know you all too well at this point. So I declined. Also, certain things, my dogs food, and water coming from the faucet has an aqua tint to it. Vision is still hazy/blurry which has gotten better over the last 40 hours and counting.

Ok... So NO disrespect for anyone who has endured horrific , hellish comedowns and whithdrawals from meth. I believe them to be true. Body Chemistry is different from person to person. But.... If this is the comedown (which I realize I may not has fully experienced yet) it's Fucking rainbows & unicorns compared to my mildest alcohol withdrawal. The worst being hospitalized or literally laying on the cold bathroom floor. Heaving up stomach bile for 13 hours straight. Drenched in sweat.
If this is the comedown. I got this. Not to sound arrogant at all. I am just feeling resolute for now in my decision to stop!
This being my first time with meth. I guess I attribute what I consider an "easy time" to the fact that; I almost obsessively made sure that I drank atleast a gallon and a half if oxygen infused water every 24 hour period over this month long run. I also ate (some) food a couple times a day. I never went without sleep for more more than one night in a row. Averaging maybe 4 hours a night. I lost 11 pounds. I'm 5 feet, 9.5 inches tall. And normally 130 pounds. I'm now 119. Too thin for my taste. My job requires me to keep a certain weight/measurements. But underweight is never a prob for them. I have seen and heard of peeps losing 25 lbs. in a month ;/

Last night I took .5 Xanax. I slept for 9 hours ?????. Today was much of the same accept I didn't stay in bed. I took my dog for a walk. And did some lite housework. General feeling today was the same. Tired, a little foggy. My mood is fine. No depression. I know what depression is. An alcohol binge used to devastate me into a dark hole. I have noticed I get a little weepy quite easily. Commercials...hehe or any sentimental thought results in tears. Overall I will say the hardest part was the actual DECISION that enough was enough. When the last of the supply ran out NOT contacting my connect and just continuing was the hardest part for me of this whole ordeal. And towards the end , chasing the high was more frustrating and unenjoyable than the last few days have been.

Yesterday, no cravings. Today, I have caught myself a few times romanticizing smoking. More the ritual of smoking and inhaling it than missing the actaual affect. Weird? And I'm sure these cravings will come and go for a while. Manageable so far. The cravings came and were short lived when I focused on something else. I think that the difficult period for ME Personally will come ( as it has happened in the past with booze) 3 weeks, 3 mos., 3 years from now when the urge hits me. Of course being an addict I will choose to remember the euphoria of the first couple days using and not the devastation, and aftermath meth causes.

So that's the deal. My last couple days. Tomorrow who knows I may write a post counteracting this one. Describing day three as the dirtiest demon I've ever encountered! Paceing the floor like a mad woman! I hope not. AGAIN, thank you all for your support.
7nos-SS373dOH , when you said in one of your responses
"Just keep reminding yourself of the awesome thing youre doing right now." Really helped. I repeated that to myself several times over the last few days/nights.
I will be frequenting this site regularly and keeping up with all your posts. I hope I can return the favor and lend words that ease. If ever in need. XOXO

I didn't get to see this post, I'm really glad I could help! I hope you still are clean, and doing well!


- Hopeless 7nos

 

[SS373dOH]

^ This is very fulfilling, I know I can speak for most BLer's, that the hours we spend on this forum, are worth it in the end, even if we could help even just 1 person!


- Hopeless Soul