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April Getting/Staying Clean/Sober Thread v. The Snow is Melting!

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6 weeks clean now..

i cannot see myself turning back now.

on monday i am FINALLY getting my ass to a local NA meeting.
Im a virgin so i asked my beautiful friend n3ophy7e out on a NA date together (lol).
i am actually really excited about this.. I have been pondering on going for fucking yeears and years, but i just done more drugs instead.

i stared death in the eyes. you could say there was a brief moment when death had me by the throat. strangling me. pulling me down towards hell.
i dont know how i did it, but i managed not to let the devil take my soul that day, 6 weeks ago, the last day i IVd heroin out of angst.

I am totally fucking ready for NA now.
And i am so grateful that my dear friend wants to attend the meeting with me for my first time.
i feel like her being by my side will make it a lot more comfortable for my first meeting.. i actually dont think i would end up attending the damn thing if i was planning on going alone.

i love my friends. i am so thankful to have support from these people whom i love.



so its game over, Harry.
you tried. but my life belongs to me.. cunt
 
Congrats trip, that is so fucking awesome! Youre a god damn inspiration, trust me that :) <3

Keep up the amazing work. Clearly youre an amazing, motivated dude. And im glad youre having fun in recovery, a healthy romantic relationship can be so benefitial in recovery. Just be care in terms of over reliance on another for your emotional well being and self esteem, but im sure youre already aware of that issue.
 
Looking forward to the meeting. I hope I like it. I really need something like this to keep me occupied and in a routine
 
If you don't like the meeting, try a few others. Each meeting is different. Personally, meetings don't work for me.
 
Really chef? I thought you were kinda into the 12-step scene. Not judging you, far from it, just curious.
 
thanks, TPD. the week was just a clusterfuck of stuff that always sets me off. mainly, my mom's very sick, and this week she had to be in the hospital with me camped out there.

the stress wasn't so much that she was sick (of course that's part of it, but she's been this way for years. i'm fairly numb to it all). mostly i just hate hospitals and doctors. all that waiting in the room on the off-chance that a doctor will deign to visit for a second and give you an update. if you ever step out to take a piss or grab a coke you invariably miss them and have to wait another couple hours before anything happens.

also... i suppose the fact is that i have really mixed emotions about my mom. it was a Freudian perfect storm.

to be completely honest, in the middle of one night there, i did cop and snorted a tiny bump before i got it together to throw the shit away. i'm not "counting" that as a lapse since i did manage to throw it away before going nuts, and since (as i knew would happen) the dope couldn't break through my suboxone anyway. stupid.
 
Dont stress about your slip up brother, shit happens. Youre not stupid, you know this is serious business here. That said, what can you do but keep moving forward, am i rite?
 
hell, fuckin yeah. absolutely right. thanks for the check. truth is, i was feeling pretty lame about the slip. what made it even worse: it was super shitty dope ;).
 
LOL, but in this case thats actually a good thing! Thank god you didnt od or anything, that is super common when people get clean and slip up like that. So Im glad it was shitty dope :)
 
awesome! Keep up the good work.

Lately I have been feeling pretty sick, but today I did some housework. I am just sick of laying in bed feeling sorry for myself. I lost a few pounds over the last week from not eating...screw this fast metabolism. I forced myself to eat some sausage today. Other than that, sobriety is doing me well. My garden is beautiful. I jsut harvested snow peas, green beans, and two more giant zucchinis.
 
Eight weeks of not abusing my prescribed oxycodone even though I am in middle of tapering. Been sober also from other rx drugs.

Did some sushi to celebrate that.
20iz4ol.jpg
 
that looks delicious. Maybe I should try eating sushi. It is pretty light on the stomach.
 
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