I went for a 4 mile walk, to the cathedral, I went into some shops, I ordered some paints with the little money I have, so I can paint next week.
It gave me a temporary feeling of normalcy. I never believed I would be an addict but here I am, starting treatment next week. Got through the worst of the withdrawals with some mini-relapses, now just on Day 5 and the psychological effects are still there: I wake up sometimes and forget I ever went and asked for help at the local outpatient rehab clinic 3 days ago, then I remember, then I feel this gloom come over me...I start to wonder: "Hey, maybe I wasn't addicted after all and can handle just chipping after all?". lol No! That is the demon I am recognising more and more. But god the cravings for opiates, do they ever end?
After over a month in my junkie cell it was great to get out though. Breathe real air, interact with strangers who were friendly...Filling my life with productive activities is positive and vital.