Mental Health World destroying mxe trip left me feeling semi insane 3 weeks later

[Ohwelllll]

Yeah thanks, I was thinking about getting some actually then I googled that it can be dangerous to take with anti-depressants which I may start taking so I just scrapped the idea.

Ended up taking Promethazane (flanagan) as recommended by doctor as they won't give me any more benzos last night when anxiety and weirdness started creeping in, took 30mg and had a really fucked up few hours. Really probably the worst I've been since it happened, had a few moments where my brain just sort of zonked out and I came back having absolutely no idea who or where I was for a a good 30 seconds probably. Was pretty terrifying, then just having a lot of auditory hallucinations, thinking ppl were whispering my name, weird visuals when I closed my eyes, although the hallucinations were actually no where near as horrifying as the thoughts I've been having recently, it was actually just a bit like tripping out, not particularly negative.

Weird anyway, not sure if it was some kind of benzo withdrawal or the promethezane, tonight will be interesting.

 

[Ohwelllll]

Out of curiosity what is the benzo addiction, is it something you become reliant on because you're using it to battle your mental issues or do you just become physically dependant and stay addicted because withdrawals are so hard?

Currently i feel like i need them purely because it stops my brain locking into the deep weird depths of itself, or it brings me back to base once it has, but i'm not feeling addicted.

 

[Moreaux]

Out of curiosity what is the benzo addiction, is it something you become reliant on because you're using it to battle your mental issues or do you just become physically dependant and stay addicted because withdrawals are so hard?

Currently i feel like i need them purely because it stops my brain locking into the deep weird depths of itself, or it brings me back to base once it has, but i'm not feeling addicted.

Not certain if you're talking to me. I had a 10 year benzo addiction back in 2010, but I got off them. I took them for anxiety. You do not want a benzo addiction, withdrawal is horrible. Benzos are fine for short term use, ideally just a couple of weeks. The become more problematic the longer you are on them. The severity of withdrawal and PAWS (protracted withdrawal) is related to the type and dose of benzo, along with the length of time you were on them. My withdrawal included such notable features as many siezures, having a strange electric feeling under my skin, sometime it felt as if I was being electrocuted, extreme anxiety and depression, and literally no short term memory. Those symptoms went away after a year and a half.

 

[Ohwelllll]

Yeah was sort of aimed at you really. I definitely don't want an addiction, at the moment they're just the lesser of 2 evils, i'm trying to keep my dose as low as possible so it just keeps my thoughts normal and calms the over thinking / flashbacks and anxiety attacks.

But as soon as i stop taking them i deteriorate which is a bit of a worry but hopefully soon I'll get some longer term solution, thanks.

 

[no_id]

Back to 2013 I was addicted to MXE, sometime experiencing multigram binge, 150mg line, was in love with the compound.
I experienced multiple time problem after these binge, the more my addiction escalated the more probability of afterward bad consequence was high. This eventually ended wich each time I take MXE, there is a 1 week at least period of non-functionnality.
Dissociation, -70IQ, etc.
One time I even forgot all my programming skills for 5 days (no joke - was in terrible fear. Imagine it's like to forgetting how to speak for 5 days ) . I was completely disfunctionnal for 2 weeks in the eye of the society, and this required a hospitalisation where paramedic needed to help me to eat and stuff. How ridiculous I was.
I always returned to normal in matters of month/s.

Now I prefer ketamine lol

 

[IKnowStuff]

Hi, I thought I'd read this thread again to see how you're doing. I agree with benzogirl that more than 2 weeks of benzos and you can develop dependence. It's not an addiction in the sense that you crave them but without any buzz/high, your body develops a dependence on them and stopping them can cause increased anxiety, insomnia etc.. However, you're sounding pretty anxious and a conversation with your GP about a personalised, tailored course of benzos with a plan for slow weaning over e.g. a 4-6 week period might be worthwhile. And I would personally advise you to start your SSRIs. If you're particularly nervous you could half the dose for 1-2 weeks before going onto the maintenance dose. SSRIs have excellent anti-anxiety properties. They can take 10-14 days to start kicking in and several weeks to reach full effect. Yes, unfortunately there is always the occasional person who has increased anxiety, increased depression, even derealization/depersonalization with them but the chances are small and you should hope to respond like the majority do. If you were to fear the worst side-effects of any drug prior to taking it, you would never even take aspirin or paracetamol. IF you do experience depersonalization/derealization worsening with your citalopram, not the end of the world. Simply discontinue the medication, know that you will return to baseline and contact your GP. If she/he does feel that you're not doing well, sometimes appointments can be expedited with another letter or phonecall. You will be fine. But I think you need to grab the bull by the horns here as my grandmother said. Good luck!

 

[Ohwelllll]

Thanks for checking back. I dnt wanna be soft but it's quite touching actually. Really means alot.

I ended up getting so scared of my own thoughts that I went to see a private psychiatrist with my cred card and he spent some time with me and done a bit of research.

He's got me on 75mg pre-gablin (sp) twice a day, and olanzepene on a very low dose. I was originally given resperidone but it was giving me breathing problems. It helped the thoughts a lot though.

I feel a million times better, still have slightly intrusive thoughts and fall into dreamy unreal states, but i havent had a full on psychosis attack in at least a week.

I stupidly went out for my friends bday (hadn't socialised in a month) and just felt so nice to be normal that i ended up drinking and forgetting about the medication, ended up imagining i was rude to someone and got myself in a really stupid state. But just a hiccup i think. Learned my lesson.

Hopefully i will get back to normal gradually now, then just a case of coming off the meds, thanks so so much for the support people.

 

[BPositive]

Has anyone come off an mxe trip and had the effects stay with you? It?s been over a year for me. I still feel like ?people are out to get me? or that there is this interconnectedness that I was not aware of before. Like a society of some sorts that only revealed itself after I had taken the drug. (Which was presented as k).

I take antipsychotics and depression meds but I still have episodes where I think people are mocking me or making fun of me. I create patterns that don?t exist and am totally irrational. I only did a bump twice on two days and it totally re wired my brain. Does anyone have any experience or similar events like this?

I?d love help and positive feedback.

 

[Tranced]

Has anyone come off an mxe trip and had the effects stay with you? It?s been over a year for me. I still feel like ?people are out to get me? or that there is this interconnectedness that I was not aware of before. Like a society of some sorts that only revealed itself after I had taken the drug. (Which was presented as k).

I take antipsychotics and depression meds but I still have episodes where I think people are mocking me or making fun of me. I create patterns that don?t exist and am totally irrational. I only did a bump twice on two days and it totally re wired my brain. Does anyone have any experience or similar events like this? Y

I?d love help and positive feedback.

Yes, its a pretty common delusion. I didn't ever really buy into it but I've certainly had the concept pushed at me by dissos, especially when I was on them. For mild cases a kind of mindfulness and not thinking about it/avoiding drugs will suffice. If you're really buying into it though and it's effecting your life, then perhaps a doctor night be neccesary. The most important thing is discontinuing drug use.

 

[Mmmyofsvn]

Could you possibly send what helped with the depersonalization. I'm in one now that's lasted about a week and was ok, knew what it was, but tonight I just had this overwhelming feeling that it would never go away. That I'll never be ok. Maybe just a list and how I can get ahold of what you mentioned.

 

[Mmmyofsvn]

It will pass. I went on an insane binge of this and 3-meo-pcp a few years ago. I was pretty much using every day for about 4 months. I had depersonalization/derealization, my mind seemed to stop working for a couple months after. I utilized Pramiracetam to speed up recovery from that episode and it allowed me to start feeling grounded again, AMPAkine's seem to be capable of reversing some of the effects of dissociatives even blocking a lot of the high if you use it with Ketamine or MXE. It is completely recoverable however. Just be patient, if you are having delusions just confront them and don't be afraid to ask questions and see what is real or just perceived. It's tough but just remain patient and know that it WILL pass and you will be normal again.

MXE is insanely addictive, I tried some recently with the intention to just use it as an anti-depressant. I did a couple doses and flushed the rest. I was just honest with myself and knew that I would only end up going on a binge and ruin my transition onto relative sobriety on Suboxone. The intention was to do a couple hole doses and utilize the anti-depressant glow that follows but this chemical is way too addictive to be able to maintain control and use it responsibly. I used 100mgs of 2 and a half grams which cost me a bit of money at the time but it was most certainly worth it to flush it. There are many people out there who can use and put down drugs with their own free will but that definitely is not me. I'm really glad that I did flush it.. NMDA antagonists do have an amazing capacity to relieve depression. I have a friend who underwent supervised Ketamine transfusions for his tratment resistant depression and after 3 sessions in 6 months, he no longer is affected with depression. These were 1 hour blood transfusions so the dose is monitored and just enough is used to have the intended effect and the effects are long lasting and there doesn't seem to be any upkeep needed. If one continued to abuse drugs afterward they would likely encounter depression again.

While these substances have amazing healing potential, the dose makes the poison and abuse can have the opposite effect. Time and just finding ways to remain grounded and understand what is irrational and what is not. If you absolutely cannot stand it than anti-psychotics may be able to help you, they come with some potentially horrible side effects but if you need them, you need them. If it is just temporary damage from methoxetamine abuse than it will pass and medication may not be necessary but in some cases dissociative and psychedelic drugs can awaken latent mental illness but only time can tell if that is the case. The benzodiazepines were probably a bad idea because once you get dependant on them, coming off of them you will have worsened anxiety so you also have that to contend with. It definitely didn't help your situation. You could try something that Works on GABA but isn't necessarily a narcotic for relief from thise symptoms, Ashwaghanda root extract is a light anxiolytic but it will provide some relieef without causing dependance.

AMPAkine Racetams are what helped me when I experienced this problem after my massive binge a few years ago.. Racetams seem to block the effects of dissociatives while using bith at the same time. This has something to do with AMpA receptors and NMDA antagonism. I had reasoned that it would help with my depersonalization ad withdrawal from dissociatives and it seemed to help tremendously for me. I used Pramiracetam which is a much stronger ampakine than what I am currently using, Aniracetam but Aniracetam may be more beneficial because it's metabolite n-anisoyl-gaba acts as an anxiolytic as well. It could help you achieve more lucidity as well as help abate the anxiety and frustration/bewilderment that comes with derealization/depersonalization.

I hope this helps somewhat. I have been in this same situation before and this is what helped me.

Could you possibly send what helped with the depersonalization. I'm in one now that's lasted about a week and was ok, knew what it was, but tonight I just had this overwhelming feeling that it would never go away. That I'll never be ok. Maybe just a list and how I can get ahold of what you mentioned