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How High Are You v. Not High Enough for this Life

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Feelin' loose off 2mg clonazepam sub'd, 2mg buprenorphine sub'd, and smoking on some Reds. Been awhile since I dosed some BZDs, so I'm feeling loose off the k-pins. I was having some PTSD flare-ups due to some shitty situations in my life... like super shitty guys.

Long time, no post. I missed you guys for real! Love the DC fam. Been in and out of court-stipulated treatment center, got kicked out the last over some petty shit. Now I gotta deal with probation and the judge again.
 
I can tell you never watched this movie then.

First you're stealing from your little sister's piggy bank, next thing ya know, boom.

Yes I know. Thanks btw SirTop.

That's why I have been so reluctant to do anything out of the box.
Playing by the book gives me some sort of satisfaction by the end of the day.

I could have drank a couple of beers during Christmas or smoked some weed.
I wanted to make it until the first year wishing that this mark would have changed something in myself.

I did realize it's only and simply a date and it doesn't mean that I'm stronger or that I've won special 'powers' over addition. My cravings have decreased but they are there, and I'm fighting this as usual, one day at a time as always.
 
Spent the afternoon with my parents, they're visiting me for a few days. Not smoking all afternoon got interesting, I started going off about politics at dinner lol

10mg of oxy and a joint on the drive home
 
Somewhat high off 15 mg zopiclone and 2 cups of medium-strength coffee. Going to take codeine and more zopiclone in a few hours.
 
Spent 7 hours STRICTLY organizing and downloading music, so there's that.
Ohhhh, Adderall

I'm about to roll a dutch, now.
 
Took 1000 mg codeine, 15 mg zopiclone, 2000 mg valerian root extract and about 200 mg caffeine all at the same time. See what happens. Been drinking too much coffee lately, but hopefully it won't fuck with my head too much. How's the rest of the crew doin'? High enough for this life, or still gettin' there?
 
OMG it took me like an hour to type out a post on my phone, then accidentally deleted it because I'm so benzoxied right now. Typing this from my computer now for faster typing and hopefully less change of losing my post (autosaves etc)
I'll give you the short version

I have the flu! :(
Woke up with 38°C this morning and that's where I'm still at. I only just found out I had some APAP, so I took 500mg of that and I think it is kind of helping my fever. Which in turn is making me feel the effects of the bromazepam & oc a lot more again. =D I'm so faded right now.. Gonna enjoy this moment and get some rest to recover from the flu while I can. =D
Peace.<3:|
 
Came up on a bottle of a sealed 100 10mg Methadone pills, manufactured by Roxane, the exact ones in my avatar.. Yes!

-110 mg Methadone (80mg liquid, 3 10mg pills)
-3mg Clonazepam
-4mg Lorazepam
-1800mg Gabapentin
-150mg Hydroxyzine
-75mg Promethazine
-500mg APAP
-Caffeine, from coffee
-Nicotine/Tobacco, Winston red 100s
 
Came up on a bottle of a sealed 100 10mg Methadone pills, manufactured by Roxane, the exact ones in my avatar.. Yes!

-110 mg Methadone (80mg liquid, 3 10mg pills)
-3mg Clonazepam
-4mg Lorazepam
-1800mg Gabapentin
-150mg Hydroxyzine
-75mg Promethazine
-500mg APAP
-Caffeine, from coffee
-Nicotine/Tobacco, Winston red 100s

Do you feel your methadone still? I remembered we talked I was on bupe now well am also on methadone 50mg though tapred was on 120 but it stopped getting me high really soon so am at 50 know idk is it even worth it to go up to 60 to feel it? I dont take benzo's daily like you but sometime's I do and when I take benzo's and promethazine I feel It a little bit for a few hours.
 
Serious upgrade to my stash.
2000 mg of tramadol
1000 mg of codeine sulfate
50 mg of Buperenophine
50 mg alprazolam
5 packets of Marlboro Red.
A packet of death wish coffee
 
Good to see you around HYH, and extra congratulations on the benzo taper, those suck and progress is always true accomplishment.

I've been acting like a kid lately, living off of sugary drinks and junk food. This morning my breakfast was blended juice and sour gummy bears. Yesterday I think my dinner was juice and popcorn? Also those funny MRB "tigers milk" brand I love those things.

Right now I have nothing to do so I got blazed and then made the decision to add benzo to that. Since I realized I could. Again, I've been acting childlike...
 
Pretty baked, and also took about 10 grams of kratom. Playin' Pokémon like a true 90's kid. lol Happy Saturday to y'all. :)
 
Do you feel your methadone still? I remembered we talked I was on bupe now well am also on methadone 50mg though tapred was on 120 but it stopped getting me high really soon so am at 50 know idk is it even worth it to go up to 60 to feel it? I dont take benzo's daily like you but sometime's I do and when I take benzo's and promethazine I feel It a little bit for a few hours.

Of course I feel it.

But if I want to get high/nod/feel euphoric I have to take extra Methadone. 10-30mg extra on top of my new dose of 90mg makes me feel like I'm on 200mg of Oxycodone.

Ever since I tried Methadone, even in treatment I fell in love with it.
idk why but I did.
It saved my life is def. the #1 reason.
Also, you know when your dope sick and in severe Withdrawal...whether you slam, smoke, and snort your H, Take Oxy, or any other high powered opiate..feels INCREDIBLE. Til this day, I still think that's the best feeling in the world.
Nothing compares (I'm single, and young, so yes there will be better times ahead of me... But right now I'm just having fun while it still lasts).

I never even IV.

When I was on Heroin, of course from the West Coast we get Black tar.
Which is a HUGE PLUS for me because I hate snorting ANY DRUG, I don't IV, and Chasing the dragon is the absolute funnest ROA.
You know you had those days when you couldn't get dope for w.e reason... Dealers are dry, no money, whatever reason.
Then you get sick as hell...
then your dealer calls and says he's got some.. You jump out of your bed and run to get some..and when you smoke that first big ol line, and get well, get the goosebumps, and feel the rush....ahhhh feels TOO GOOD MAYNE.

I felt VERY similar when I started Methadone treatment.
My very first dose was INCREDIBLE.
 
Good day everybody,I'm kicking the evening off with a small bit of ephedrine, coffee, and valium. Gonna go shopping tomorrow and I'm excited like a high school girl. Or like someone who generally enjoys shopping. I suppose.

Edit: just busted outta work yet it's not even 6am so basically just gonna blaze it til I fall into a nap which should bring me to lunch time.
 
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I felt VERY similar when I started Methadone treatment.
My very first dose was INCREDIBLE.

First doses are always good and different from those you take as a routine.
After having been on MMT for years I could not feel anything anymore, no highs except if I'd used amounts that could lead me to ODs. This was the idea when I started with 'dones.

The idea of having a normal life and stop chasing stronger and different drugs.
What some of us don't realize is that after this long fun phaze, nothing else may bring you satisfaction. And stopping methadone is something really difficult, but very worth it.
Not only painful but almost impossible. It's like becoming someone else.
 
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Just on 100mg hydroxyzine and about to almost 300mg of tramadol.

Whew.. this is going to be a good day.
 
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