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March Getting/Staying Clean/Sober Thread v. Spring is Here!

Good luck RDP! It is possible...
I'm starting day 95 after 10 years of not even going 3 weeks without opiates, did heroin IV for a total of almost 4 years, oxycodone for 3 years and various pain pills inbetween... I'm so extremly proud of myself :) I didn't think I would make it to 30 let alone 90 but here I am %)
You can do this too as long as you want it. You got this! I totally believe in you =D

<3
EXjg
 
Man I sure do feel lucky, I get to start out my day listening to my roommate shoot dope in the bathroom. Yay me! I didn't sleep last night so I have been up all morning. I watched him get texts around 630am then after a few texts back and forth, watched him bolt for the door in excitement, totally lied when he told me what he was doing, comes home, looking for his lighter and won't take the offer to use mine, so obviously he wasn't lighting a cigarette. During the looking he goes and wake his girlfriend up that doesn't wake up for anything, and what a surprise..she woke up. He found his lighter and went straight for the bathroom, she's been sleeping in the room all night and morning with the door open, he comes home and all of a sudden she wants the bedroom door shut? I hear lighters flicking out of both the bedroom and the bathroom..... Do they really think I am THAT stupid? I have fucked with heroin and opiates longer then they have combined. I just don't understand why they think like I'm just not going to notice these things? Like seriously....
I can't wait for this chapter to be over with. I'm ready to move on with my life and have my apartment back to myself!
Sorry I'm just venting. It's just getting harder and harder and harder everyday to not go and either get my own dope or get my roommate to get it for me. I'm just really struggling with this right now.

<3
EXjg
 
I am so sorry to hear they disrespect you like that.

Stay strong Hun <3

You're such an inspiration to all of us here.
 
Hi. Like they always say, a sober person will always join his using "friends" before the friends will join you in sobriety. I am blessed that I finally got a subsidized apartment at age 62 and live alone. I've been on MMT since April 2015 and I got on it the day another check came. At that point, I still had a connection and just knew I would die. How many of us wanted just one more high? Got rid of the dealer, his number, everything. I saw him (on a strong day) while walking to my noontime AA and I just prayed and marched on. Later (in weaker moments) I wished I had that number.

Been struggling with alcohol and that guarantees weak moments and bad decisions. Now I am not drinking and please, God, help me to stay that way.

I got fat on MMT. Lowered the dose to 60 and still fight the weight. My best weight is 140, my highest was 248 (fresh out of the joint 15 years ago), and today I am 165. Really looking forward to the spring sunshine, fresh grass, and flowers. And smiling, happy people.

I am sorry that I even mentioned being on the clinic to a friend in AA. Now I keep it to myself. (I want to stay alive and free. Screw those judgmental people; they want to get their egos boosted by putting others down.)

Quit smoking for good last July. Gotta get rid of the Nicorettes. Junkygirl23, please somehow get out of that situation. I don't know how you can do it. But do it.

I am happy to now be on Bluelight. I plan to get in fighting shape this spring. It's nice to tell the truth and help someone else. I got started on H in 1969. I was a social baby at age 17. Michael
 
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^ Thanks for you post! It seems you've gone through a lot. What do you mean by starting H in 1969?
Good luck Michael!

Not Dead Yet said:
Hi. Like they always say, a sober person will always join his using "friends" before the friends will join you in sobriety.
Click to expand...

I agree with you. It's a tough to be sober and at times there will be moments you'd be vulnerable and this is a bit 'dangerous' so to speak. It's too near.
 
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Not Dead Yet said:
Hi. Like they always say, a sober person will always join his using "friends" before the friends will join you in sobriety. I am blessed that I finally got a subsidized apartment at age 62 and live alone. I've been on MMT since April 2015 and I got on it the day another check came. At that point, I still had a connection and just knew I would die. How many of us wanted just one more high? Got rid of the dealer, his number, everything. I saw him (on a strong day) while walking to my noontime AA and I just prayed and marched on. Later (in weaker moments) I wished I had that number.

Been struggling with alcohol and that guarantees weak moments and bad decisions. Now I am not drinking and please, God, help me to stay that way.

I got fat on MMT. Lowered the dose to 60 and still fight the weight. My best weight is 140, my highest was 248 (fresh out of the joint 15 years ago), and today I am 165. Really looking forward to the spring sunshine, fresh grass, and flowers. And smiling, happy people.

I am sorry that I even mentioned being on the clinic to a friend in AA. Now I keep it to myself. (I want to stay alive and free. Screw those judgmental people; they want to get their egos boosted by putting others down.)

Quit smoking for good last July. Gotta get rid of the Nicorettes. Junkygirl23, please somehow get out of that situation. I don't know how you can do it. But do it.

I am happy to now be on Bluelight. I plan to get in fighting shape this spring. It's nice to tell the truth and help someone else. I got started on H in 1969. I was a social baby at age 17. Michael
Click to expand...

Thank you for sharing man. That was really inspirational. :)
 
Jg: get them out of your apartment asap. They will be the cause of a relapse eventually. I allowed someone that had a roxy script to stay with me a few yrs ago and eventually I got sick of watching him and joined him. Lo and behold that cost me a 2yr iv H relapse and my entire divorce settlement of 125,000! So kicking myself in the ass as I owe money to the IRS and am flat broke now! Been on mmt since Nov. Get them out!
 
My3sons said:
Jg: get them out of your apartment asap. They will be the cause of a relapse eventually. I allowed someone that had a roxy script to stay with me a few yrs ago and eventually I got sick of watching him and joined him. Lo and behold that cost me a 2yr iv H relapse and my entire divorce settlement of 125,000! So kicking myself in the ass as I owe money to the IRS and am flat broke now! Been on mmt since Nov. Get them out!
Click to expand...

Wholeheartedly agree with this sentiment.

I'm struggling today but I can make it through this, one minute at a time.
 
I know that I need to get them out it's just not really THAT simple. I'm still not working and I need their help with rent at the moment. And too the guy well I guess was a really close friend to me so it just sucks. It just sucks to see him struggling so much when I'm so happy getting clean and being clean. I feel like 99% of the time they are both just live in reminders that I don't want to use. I don't want to go back to that life. I don't know like it gets tough sometimes but I don't want to use I really don't.
Just taking it a day at a time.
Thanks guys for your support :)

I'm kinda bummed on myself today. I wanted to wake up early today to go talk to and apply to this job I really wanted. And it's like I couldn't sleep til 4am and then ended up over sleeping of course and messed that all up. It just sucks. I'm really hurting for a job right now. The sooner I get a job the sooner I can get them out of my apartment.

Other then that tho I'm okay. On day 96 and I don't really wanna give that up for anything in the whole world.

<3
EXjg
 
On day 3, second real try as the ones during my relapse weren't real. My birthday is coming up, my son is in surgery as I type, gotta stay strong. Looking forward to warmer weather and getting outside more.
 
Junkiegirl23 said:
Man I sure do feel lucky, I get to start out my day listening to my roommate shoot dope in the bathroom. Yay me! I didn't sleep last night so I have been up all morning. I watched him get texts around 630am then after a few texts back and forth, watched him bolt for the door in excitement, totally lied when he told me what he was doing, comes home, looking for his lighter and won't take the offer to use mine, so obviously he wasn't lighting a cigarette. During the looking he goes and wake his girlfriend up that doesn't wake up for anything, and what a surprise..she woke up. He found his lighter and went straight for the bathroom, she's been sleeping in the room all night and morning with the door open, he comes home and all of a sudden she wants the bedroom door shut? I hear lighters flicking out of both the bedroom and the bathroom..... Do they really think I am THAT stupid? I have fucked with heroin and opiates longer then they have combined. I just don't understand why they think like I'm just not going to notice these things? Like seriously....
I can't wait for this chapter to be over with. I'm ready to move on with my life and have my apartment back to myself!
Sorry I'm just venting. It's just getting harder and harder and harder everyday to not go and either get my own dope or get my roommate to get it for me. I'm just really struggling with this right now.

<3
EXjg
Click to expand...

I don't know how you do it J, although I understand why. Just one little thing, although I can't wait until they are outta there, what I'm really looking forward to is when you and I have your apartment all to ourselves! :) <3 Keep up the awesome work beautiful!
 
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