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H Withdrawal Soon/Chronic Pain & Health Problems/We Can Do It!

Hi guys!
So besides the last 20oxy this morning I only took 3 lyrica and then a CWE at lunch.
Doing okay, I actually got made up and left the house. Goal was to get yo Kai watch toy refill d
For my youngest, and stuff to make lasagna. So went to WM. Felt kind of zombie isn and like people were staring at me but might be my imagination... Anyway felt good to get out of the house for something besides a drug run ?

Glad everyone else is doing okay right now. Staying (mostly ) off the meds.
 
Great job both of you!! Keep on doing you ABW! You have a rational head on your shoulders and I believe you know when you can push it and when to hold back a little.

Bliss, awesome work getting out of the house. If you don't mind me askin, how much codeine did you end up consuming on your CWE? I'm guessing codeine as you list location as CA and I believe you can get that OTC, right? Don't you worry about how you look in wal-mart. I'm sure you probably looked better than most of the people I see there when I happen to stumble into that building. I generally avoid wal-mart like the plague... 8o

-SK
 
Oh, people watching at WM lol....

Once there was a girl in line ahead of me there. She had on a tank top, with a sheer longer shirt over it, and jeans. I notice....oh my God.....her ENTIRE ASS CRACK IS HANGING OUT and visible through the sheer overshirt. I mean, like a FOOT of ass crack..... wow. lol

I wish codeine were OTC in the USA. They really treat us like babies here. I get angered at the legislation against the free will of people. I have heard that you can get codeine otc in some places if you go to the pharm and ask, but you have to sign a registry or something. Don't know if that is true, and am not gonna try lol. I don't need ANY marks following me on record.

Let us know how the Skype went SK, I am excited for you and said a prayer.

Managed to take dog for a big poop lol, showered, gonna run a couple errands, fill out an application, put my face on (makeup, thank God for being a woman sometimes lol), and give it a try. Hopefully go get my taxes done today too, that would help. Though I am cutting back, I will run out of available money soon. He has fronted me before but I won't want that if I don't know how I will pay it back. Do NOT need an angry dealer on my plate lol. So, hoping I am able to cut back fast enough and get a small job fast enough to prevent full on wd. I get nervous for my heart in full wd, then there is the pain, which I am working through better than I feared! And it is pretty significant. So I am proud of that.

I hope you all keep hanging on, you are ALL doing GREAT, and I am happy to know you :)

Love the sense of family and community on here, and how others reach out and hold hands, even when they are not too well themselves. Beautiful :)

Peace.
 
Just got a call that my guy has oxy80's. He NEVER has oxy80s. Omg. I don't even have any money and the addict inside me is trying to set this up ?
 
Stay strong. It is a test.

Isn't it incredible how one can find ways to get money, though????

Ask yourself how you really feel. Think about your total goal.

And know that even if you do something that leads you to feeling crappy about yourself, we will all still be here to encourage you moving forward. I know I have no control over what you do. Free will and all that.

You can do anything you want. Have faith in yourself.

Peace.
 
@ stillkickin'

Yes that's right we do have OTC codeine here but if you want a decent amount you have to do a CWE. Each pill has 300mg acetaminophen, 15mg caffeine and 8mg codeine.. I generally CWE 15. Any more and the caffeine makes me jittery and anxious. It helps some ...
 
Maybe just a couple?

I have a massage and facial set up for tomorrow, wouldn't that feel better in wonderland?

My sisters dropping by with $80 tonight.. I usually drop 400 there . Mmm it does feel like a test. Seriously he hasn't had 80s in 2 years. And it has to be this month.
 
Only you can decide what is or is not worth it.

Just remember how you will feel. Will you reset yourself too much? Will you beat yourself up badly?

Again, the road to where we wanna be is often not a straight path, more of a general direction, and we can make it despite setbacks.

Only you can make the right choice for yourself.

Think of what is important to you, think of your total goal, weigh it heavily, do not be too hard on yourself OR too easy on yourself. Believe me, I know how pain is to live with. It is very, very hard. You are not a bad person if you slip, but you might be a regretful one. Up to you.

Peace.
 
?
I wish this person hadn't of texted me. He's got footballs too (my f*cking favourite ) boooo
 
Now that I'm tolerant, I tend to romanticize how it's going to feel, and it never ends up feeling as good as I'm expecting.
That's what intellectual me says. Addict me is still trying to rake up $400


Edited to add: starting to have WD symptoms now, yawning and runny eyes.
 
Think of what else you could do with that $400, babe!

And are you gonna regret it, sinc your tolerance will impact?

I envy you regarding the otc codeine lol. I know cwe is a pain, and that sucks about the caffeine.... wondering if there is a way around that? If there is google would know lol.

Good luck :)

Peace.
 
Bliss26 said:
Now that I'm tolerant, I tend to romanticize how it's going to feel, and it never ends up feeling as good as I'm expecting.
That's what intellectual me says. Addict me is still trying to rake up $400


Edited to add: starting to have WD symptoms now, yawning and runny eyes.
Click to expand...

I can most definitely relate to what you wrote. My buddy messaged me about 2 hours ago and said she's going to go see her guy since he's all flush again. The last 2 hours have been this battle going back and forth in my head. "I could pay my sister back what I owe her ... Could get just 4 for me ... Well maybe 4 for tonight, and 2 for tomorrow, since it will my first day back in the office since Monday ... Well maybe I should just get enough to comfortably get to the weekend ..."

You are so right though on the romanticism of these things though. I took 40mg last night and all it did was help me wind down. No great feelings of peace like I build these experiences up to be in my head. It's always a let down and then I'm faced with the setback of filling my receptors up one more time. I can't say I'll do the right thing, but I can say I'll be aware of my actions and blame no other than myself if I don't. This has been a long 2 steps forward, 1 step back process. Right now I'm sitting on about 10 steps forward in the grand scheme and I just took a step back last night. It would be good to contain it to that.

I can say though, $400 is way too much money for an impulse. I do make very good money, but that amount gives me worry. Not to say I haven't dropped over 1K in a single night's purchases (thankfully years ago now). Oh how we wish we could get that cash back, eh?

I wish you the best in your choices that lie ahead Bliss! Don't stop posting regardless of your decisions.

-SK
 
Well, I came into 4 X 80mg oxyER. I don't feel too bad. I'm not going to use them round the clock, so I don't think it'll have much effect on my WD. I plan to render one pill a day IR and *only* consuming one a day, until they're gone. Normally I would just binge eat them and they'd be gone in a day and a half.
I will NOT do that.
I'm sorry if anyone thinks I'm a loser quitter, but from the get go I didn't know if my goal was permanent drug free due to my chronic pain. Even if I decide to... Quitting isn't always a linear process. I just don't want to be in a daze all the time and sleeping too much. I want to be more engaged in my life, and I want to not spend a fortune on stuff. Those are my two goals.
 
I dont think you are a loser or quitter. I am in horrific pain right now myself and my dude is not responding. I would absolutely do something if I had it. I get it.

Glad you are taking it slow. Good on you :)

Peace.
 
Thank you, A Better Way. I'm so sorry about the pain. Is it your back?
I have butt pain and joint stiffness and pain. The joint pain is lessened when I eat low-carb. I've been eating LC except the past couple days I've had Coke (not diet)... I crave Coca-Cola.
It's a whole other animal to quit the junk when you're in chronic pain. I HATE being in pain.,

Just wanted to add, don't be jealous of those crappy T1's. If you're on the gear, those OTC t1's wouldn't even touch your need, I wouldn't think.
 
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A Better Way,
Have you tried applying for CPP-D? I thought I'd never be approved but I was. If you also have work disability you could end up with more money than if you were working... And lots of benefits on taxes too, and income tested govt benefits like baby bonus if you have kids and GST cheque as well as the 300% match on RDSP, if you're in Canada. Can't beat that match!!
 
I'm in the usa, ssd not too great here. My dude never responded, now it's like 330am, starting to get....uncomfortable lol. Hope I csn fall back to sleep, dont really wanna be up so early. Ugh.

Not fun but probably not too bad for me. I guess.

Peace.

Edit: took some imodium, benadryl, dxm with guaif, and schmoked lol. Feeling a but better, at least not so antsy and pissy. Still awake though. Guess it's good for me and also saved me some money. I'm not in the worst of it, it's just annoying.
 
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ABetterWay said:
I wish codeine were OTC in the USA. They really treat us like babies here. I get angered at the legislation against the free will of people. I have heard that you can get codeine otc in some places if you go to the pharm and ask, but you have to sign a registry or something. Don't know if that is true, and am not gonna try lol. I don't need ANY marks following me on record.
Click to expand...

In the state of North Carolina, Virginia, Georgia(iirc) and a couple of other states, you indeed can get Codeine with no prescription. I have do so in NC and Virginia. The only problem is that there's only some much Codeine per the amount Guaifenesin you get as well. That will make you feel nauseous and yucky. I read a report of a seizure on another forum, but I'm not sure if there were other drugs involved.

Even when my tolerance was at baseline, I had to drink the whole bottle to feel anything at all. It'll probably be useless for anyone with a moderate to high tolerance.

EDIT:

More on Kurt Cobain and Nirvana.

I used to love Nirvana, and I still do. I just totally played every singly piece of music they ever released and killed it for myself. Maybe I grew up too. It is after all, angsty grunge. I will blast their songs if I ever hear them on the radio.

They were instrumental in my up bringing. I love Cobain, but I wish he wasn't my hero when I was a dumb 14 year old. I think I bought too much into the things he said and his pessimistic and sappy views on things. It was him that made Heroin and opiates in general seem mesmerizing.

I used always have suspicions about his death, but just accepted it to be a suicide until I watched Soaked In Bleach. I recommend any fan of Kurt Cobain to watch it.
 
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I get so mad when they don't respond or are dry... It's like.. You had ONE job!

It's not perfect esp for pain but it's kind of amazing on how the WD comfort drugs, stacked, really help.

I'm groggy and still a bit tired, but I only came to bed at 3am so it prob isn't the meds. Anyways have no WD signs this morning except runny nose which I usually have anyway so not even sure it's a wd. No yawning or anything

If you lived in a border town you could bring some back easily. Each drug store will only sell u 100 but you could hit every one in town.

Don't know much about ssd for Americans except they don't have good social benefits so probably not as good as ours. I don't want to derail this thread but I really can't understand why you guys a re the only developed country to make people pay for medical. To bankrupt themselves for hitting the bad luck lottery of getting a disease through no fault of their own, doesn't seem right to me. I would be bankrupt many times over ? The ACA is an improvement but he should have went all the way as single payer :)
Everyone just watches the shenanigans with disbelief. Anyway.. Sorry for that mini rant ?
Hope everyone is doing well today.
I have a massage at 5:45 and don't plan to take my blue until about 4pm even if I present with WD symptoms ?? I got this
 
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