^^ there's a really great guy on YouTube named Richard Grannon (Channel: Spartan Life Coach) who talks extensively about enduring narcissistic abuse and overcoming it. I will warn you, he doesn't always have the kindest words for how a Borderline individual may make others feel; however, I've heard him acknowledge that he's engaged in some Borderline type behaviors in the past, due to his treatment, and that once in a blue moon he will catch himself falling into less-than-ideal patterns which he works to pull himself out of.
I enjoy him because he doesn't have a superiority trip going on despite how insightful he is; he talks like a regular, imperfect human being; he doesn't try to claim or act like he has all the answers; he will from time to time post a video just explaining where his current beliefs are at within him and in comparison to the DSM of mental health disorders (i appreciate this because he incorporates newly learned things into his thoughts and opinions instead of assuming his once-over conclusions will forever be 100% correct. He's open minded and will evolve his views as he goes along this journey, so not arrogant). He will tease himself even, he's just easy to relate to because he doesn't talk in academic jargon, he makes it human, he's not full of himself, and he's genuinely, in my opinion, happy to help others as much as he can. Good people,he is
Look hhim up on YouTube, Richard Grannon, Spartan Life Coach. He originated as more of a martial arts thing, incorporating physical and mental fitness; but according to him, his channel just naturally, organically evolved to what it currently is. And that's another reason I think I find him so easy to listen to, understand, relate to, and appreciate - because he had no preconceived notions, really, no goal of this, it just evolved into a channel focusing on narcissistic abuse and its effects and consequences, and most importantly, GREAT TIPS, INSIGHT, AND ADVICE ON OVERCOMING that sort of unique devastation.
I know. I've been there. And even though I've always been a good people reader, I still got sucked in and lost myself. I didn't understand that at the time, I just felt very confused, of balance, like nothing was right, like many intuition was trying to scream something to me but I couldn't quite hear it....
I hear it now. It was saying, this is BULLSHIT, they are a liar, you know what's right, trust your gut, trust your conscience, don't listen to them, they are tearing you apart and shattering you into fragments that don't know they've been shattered apart.
Once you are very conscious of this crap, to the point where you can just observe it happening rather than get pulled into it and be victimized emotionally, helping them make YOU look like the crazy one (don't get me started on THAT shit....omg.....so wrong), you begin to heal and move on. Evolve. Your defences drop. You see things more clearly. You begin to trust your perception and sense of right and wrong. You see the abuser for the pathetic worm they are, rather than some all powerful monster that had the ability to destroy you with a tantrum and some insults. You begin to think they are just weak and lame and its so clear that they are wrong and you have been tricked out off your sense of self so they can feel better, powerful, by more or less collecting souls to rule over. Oddly, ironically, without you, without the ability to feed off of you, they are nothing. Powerless. Weak. Lost. Frantic. Panicked. Desperate. Ironic, huh? All this time, or felt like they were so big and bad even though at first, in youth, you may not have tangibly, concretely understood WHY they feel that way when they are so "nice" and "always concerned for you" and "trying to help you for your own good" and they only blast you when you have "really hurt their feelings" or "are so ungrateful and don't care about all their hard work for you" and, though they will do anything to hide this from being too obvious, they will also blast you and knock you down several pegs when they feel threatened by your autonomy, by your confidence, by your resolve, by your positivity, by your certainly in an opinion you have, by your good and decent morals (yes, they will find a way to twist things so that you aren't good and kind, you're just ::fill in blank with you somehow getting something evil out of begging a good person, selfishly benefiting yourself:: though its a lie on their part...). And it goes on and on.
Basically any time you try to do good or right by yourself, they will attack and knock you down a peg. When younger and/or unconscious to this pattern and what's fueling it and them, you may get the idea that you are stupid and your "sappy" ideas are dumb instead of sweet, and your morals are you being selfish and trying to come off as better than everyone else etc etc etc. My god they are ruthless at literally tearing you down piece by piece, until you have no idea which way is up or down, left or right,wwhat's right or wrong.
It's up to you to rebuild yourself and learn to trust your instinct and gut and learn to distinguish whether what someone is saying to you putt of apparent concern is truly out of concern and a legit point; or, if you are being manipulated by a narcissistic type that had the end goal in mind of crushing your spirit, making you empty and confused, and then filing you back up with their twisted rhetoric for their own gain, to have their own minion, slave, and thing to feel powerful about.
They aren't shit without someone to control and dick over.
They aren't shit WITH that. They are cowards. I understand they probably had things bad themself to turn out that way, but like YOU have a choice and you can choose to unlearn that bullshit, and choose peace and kindness, and escape the cycle of abuse and start your own very different pattern in life, and get over the ego enough that the bad things you endured don't cause you to lash out at others abusively, so can they.
Most who get to that point of being so abusive don't have the courage to change.... Or, rather, evolve. We are who we are and we don't really CHANGE much, asmuch as we can integrate new information, new experiences, new conclusions and observations into our current psyche, and in turn become more well equipped to handle a wider variety of things with peace and kindness,, and with boundaries in place to protect us.
They don't have the cottage to evolve because that would require them to Lon at themself, and acknowledge the pain they've inflicted ad an unconscious coward on others. They hurt too much to face that, they are embarrassed. But the fact is, there's more to be embarrassed about if you could evolve but choose not to, at the expense of hurting others so deeply, than there is anything to be embarrassed about in saying,"Holy crap, what wad I thinking and doing??? I was hurt and confused,, I'm so sorry."
So don't wait for them to change.
Shroomy, I know this is long but I know that narcissistic abuse can leave someone so confused and empty and lost. I get it.
You go watch that dude and begin to heal.
You begin to heal from this crap and from BPD, a world of opportunity will open up to you, as you lose the fear and the defensiveness and confusion and despair.
You can do it.
Edit. His channel. Go look through his videos and watch whatever grabs you.
https://m.YouTube.com/user/SPARTANLIFECOACH
To be able to extract strength and hope and support from here. 
