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February Getting/Staying Clean/Sober Thread v. Valentines Day Coming Soon!

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After years of being painfully addicted to prescription pain pills.. I am DONE. I have to do this; for myself, my husband and especially for my daughter. I was up to 30+ pills a day (may not be alot to some, but it was for my body) and on a nowhere road. I took my last 3 on February 12th. I didn't count the 12th as day one, since I took something that day, so I am PROUDLY now almost four days clean and sober. This has been the hardest thing I've ever, ever done.. But I am so glad I'm doing it. I hurt so bad on day two that my family tried to get me to take a pill.. I stayed strong and I didn't. I had a childhood friend die yesterday & all I wanted to do was swallow a handful of pills to calm down.. I stayed strong and I didn't. I think I've got this!!
 
Congrats on everyone that is getting sober and evolving. I too am evolving. I have a year and nearly four months, and I am still learning that I am a good person. I've been kinda sick and worn out lately, which was usually my cue to use, but now I have a different set of activities I partake in. I have been gardening quite a bit, and now I have finally gotten back into crafting and painting.

I don't know if you all experience this, but sometimes I feel overwhelmed by my emotions and I have to take a giant step back from situations before I let the chaos back into my life. I had always numbed my feelings, bad or good, and now I no longer have that numbness to fall back on. I feel like I don't deserve to feel good sometimes, but I think that is just my old friend guilt trying to work its way back into my life. I still have panic attacks and I no longer take benzos so I have been practicing mitigating the anxiety with deep breathing and meditation. My sleep is getting back to normal, but I routinely can't fall asleep at least once a week. Its odd, I will stay up all night listening to tv thinking about how I could have done things differently...but I know in my heart that it is dangerous to do so. For the first nearly hundred days of my recovery I barely slept, even with temazepam and xanax...and the sleep I got was not very restful. I haven't had a using dream in a while which is nice, but I know that even after a year and some change they are just as panic inducing.

Here is hoping that everyone on this forum is finding that piece of themselves they thought they had lost, sold, or gave away. I know I am finding it. I never thought I would date again but it is going great!
 
Seeing as its past midnight, I'm basically onto day fucking SIX. I know it's *only* six days, but I've never made it more than 24 hours, so this is a big deal to me. I'm starting to feel better physically; my body still hurts and I have random cramps, but I can deal with that. I can't say I'm doing very well emotionally, but I'm dealing. I just started a depression medication and two anxiety medications, which I should have already been on, so I'm hoping they start to help.

Congratulations to everyone getting and staying sober! You're ALLLLL amazing.
 
CH, i am so sorry things have been so difficult. I just want you to know that I lurked here for a good long time before deciding to work toward sobriety. There have been many inspirational voices here, both on the success and failure sides, but you have been an unrelenting source of kindness and support. I truly hope things look up soon.
 
Thanks man.

My BF is an alcoholic. I would stage an intervention but no one cares about him.
 
How painful. Knowing what you know, being who you are, particularly, but to anyone generally. I hope today is better. So sorry.
 
((CH))...how sad for you to see your significant other suffering with the disease of addiction/alcoholism. I send healing thoughts out for him to have a moment of clarity so that he recognizes he needs to take action against his problem, and for you to find peace.
 
my heart goes out to you CH. I have been in your shoes before. It is so hard to walk away, especially when you see potential in the relationship.
 
manboychef said:
my heart goes out to you CH. I have been in your shoes before. It is so hard to walk away, especially when you see potential in the relationship.
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That's one of the smaller but still pretty sad negative aspects of drug abuse, IMO. Growing apart from someone who you used to be friends/significant others with because you've chosen a different path in life (one that doesn't involve constant active addiction). I have a friend in the city I live in now who I actually value quite a bit, have a good deal of affection for (which is rare since they're a "drug friend")...we haven't really seen each other lately since I informed them that I want to stay away from the shit. I actually respect & appreciate the fact that they're not coming around anymore, because I know that they're still using, and at least they have enough respect for me that they don't bring it around. It's not classy at all to constantly parade drugs around someone who is trying to avoid them.
 
An acquaintance of mine died of an overdose today.

Early 20's. Fuck. I never really liked that guy but he didn't deserve to die...I hate how drugs rob the people I know of their freedom and their lives :(
 
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