secretgarden21
Greenlighter
- Joined
- Jan 22, 2016
- Messages
- 11
Hey guys. Looking for some help, advice, similar anecdotes. Feeling scared..here's what happened:
-On Dec 12 2015 I decided to have a crazy night out with some old friends.
-I took half a 30mg pill of Adderall after dinner, smoked some weed, headed to the club.
-Drank whiskey at the club, then took half a cap of "MDMA" dissolved in water. It was whiteish, sparkly powder. I knew it wasn't pure MDMA as I discussed w my friends who were buying and was prepared for a more ecstasy/amphetamine/speedy roll, hence why I split the adderrall with my friend to start off the night.
-We see the DJ, come up, drink a bit more whiskey, dance, have a great time. We leave the club fully high. My friends want to get more drugs. I'm on the fence- deep down I know I'm high enough, but I've got a penchant for the stuff and decide to go with the flow. My friend hands me a cap and they say lets all take a full one.
-This is just over 2 hrs after dropping the first half cap. I know if I'm doing it I should do it fast bc I don't want to start coming down before this full cap hits. I put it in my mouth and my friend says bite on the cap because the plastic is really thick. I do but I barely crack it. I swallow it.
-This was a pretty big ass blue and white cap. From splitting it open the first time, I'd guess there was up to 0.35 of stuff in there. Realistically probably 0.28.
-We continue partying, I switch to water, I am definitely high, standing up and stretching a lot, talking a bit and being friendly, we decide to go to a 3rd club.
-The music is insane at the 3rd club. I am super happy, dancing, and I think to myself, I've nailed it (the Addy + .5 cap + full cap combo)
-Friends wanna smoke a joint and I'm soooo down. We smoke then come back inside, at this point I'm dancing and I'm like WOAH! Woahahahah this weed really kicked in the drugs! Damn! Nice! (I'm happy cause I usually smoke way more weed than that when rolling)
-Then I get progressively more and more high, until I seriously feel a *THUMP* as if a tiny stone fell from my upper body into my stomach, and I went from being "a girl who was high" to being "a girl who was ON DRUGS". I was fully in drug world, could barely stop my feet moving, was panting.
-I'm telling myself this is what I wanted and I can handle it. Keep dancing.
-Before this night, I did not do hard drugs for 1 year (except some bumps of Ketamine), but before that year of abstinence, I did MDMA often, perhaps once a month, to dance and have fun.
-I realize I'm an idiot and what I thought was the weed activating more potency, was more likely the second full cap finally kicking in. I should have cracked the cap, or done it in water like the first, or just done another half not a full.
-I go through the motions but something is off. I'm sweating like crazy and starting to feel really uncomfortable. I feel like everyone is looking at me in the club and I'm paranoid that I look very obviously on drugs. I tell my friends I wanna go home and put pjs on and smoke weed.
-at this point it's 7:30 am. We go home and do just that. When we get home and I am rolling a joint I realize I have no voice. What the fuck? It is almost comical. Wasn't I screaming and talking just now/the whole night? When did my voice go away? Suddenly only the hoarsest rasp was coming out of my throat and that was painful. I resort to whispering. It is funny.
-I call my boyfriend who is in another country. He freaks out at me cause I didn't tell him I was doing drugs. He says oh fuck, your pupils are dilated as fuck, your jaw is out of control. He is right.
-I look at myself on the video chat and I cannot speak because my voice is gone and my jaw is chattering uncontrollably.
-I start to get scared, paranoid of police, hearing every noise from the apartment above SUPER loudly, paranoid of what I took. I have a comedown from HELL. Hands down worst in my life. It felt like tiny knives scraping the inside of my scalp and neck. Sheer pain. Heart pounding. Sweating.
-I roll joints, smoke joints, lie on the couch, talk, listen to my friends talk, listen to music. I finally sleep at around 9pm.
-when I wake up, I feel like shit. I can barely move my neck. The base of my neck and where it connects to my head /the back of my head are in a lot of pain. My feet hurt. I feel...stupid. My mind is blank. The word "retarded" came into my mind. I lay on the couch and smoked weed all day.
-I make it home to my moms 2 days later. I wake up and vomit water. My voice is still wrecked. I have a sore throat. I'm exhausted and weak. Why did I do this? I stopped for a year. I had so much energy and life and enthusiasm in me, that I had built up, and I zapped it all away yet again on a night out.
-I resign myself to the slow recovery process. And to just have a good attitude about it. I take 5htp. And throat lozenges.
-we fly to our Christmas vacation ~2 days later. Then fly again. Then swim in the ocean. Then fly again. Then I wake up with a raging pain in my left ear. My ear proceeded to be painfully popped for over 2 weeks. I saw a doctor and he said it wasn't from an infection, not red and no sand in there. Every time I swallow or chew gum it's popping around.
-I realize it must have been the pressure my jaw put on my inner ear, followed by all those flights. I'm pissed at myself and in pain.
-I start to realize my vision is different. I can't focus on people's faces far away, and I'm way more sensitive to light /need more time to adjust when I walk out into the sunshine and it's painful at first. I begin to worry. From then, my vision has been off, and my ears have been popped, for over 3 weeks.
-so where are we now? Jan 22. I finally saw an opthamologist. He examined my optic nerve and retina and said everything looks ok. I saw a general doctor who I told about the drugs. He said the symptoms sound like what I took was crystal meth /meth.
-let me be clear- what's up with my vision. You know when you stand up too fast and get a head rush, and your vision is flooded with light? It's like that, slightly, everywhere. Like when you have a migraine and there's light on the sides of your vision, but it's not just on the sides, it's everywhere. I feel pain in my eye muscles when I change the direction that I'm looking. I feel if I look at a lamp, then look away, the lamp's light kinda follows me too much. It's also harder to focus.
-I also have a slight ringing in my ears still, and my ear is uncomfortably blocked. However now it's evenly blocked in both ears, before it was just the left. Also have slight vertigo.
-I believe the doc that what I took was cut with meth. My friends mentioned it's becoming more common. Also that would explain my comedown, and how the back of my head hurt, cause what I didn't know, was that it's a CENTRAL NERVOUS SYSTEM DRUG. Fuck my life. This could be why I lost my voice, my ears were damaged, and my eyesight. (And why the soles of my feet hurt -lots of nerve endings.)
-even now, I swear im in a mild "comedown"-like pain in my spine, between my shoulder blades. I think that shits still in me and it's slowly trickling out.
What do you guys think? Sound like meth? Do you think I could have caused serious /permanent cognitive damage from that one night? (Of course, taking pure MDMA regularly for 2 years with a 1 year break before that night, would not have helped.)
I'm used to having my seratonin shot after a night out, but this was different. I was trying to text "oui" in French (which I also speak), and pressed the "w" key instead of "o". (If you were writing in English, "oui" would be pronounced "wee".) It freaked me out because my language, thinking, writing skills are really important to me. As are my vision and hearing obviously...
I feel I have played with fire and flirted with death. Have you experienced similar vision issues? Do you know if there's anything I can do to speed the healing process? Supplements, diet exercise, anything??
(Overall, I honestly feel like I've had a concussion. Been whacked good on the head. I've had a concussion ~4 years ago and how I'm feeling now feels similar to how I remember that.)
I'm sick of this blocked congested head, sick of ringing in my ears, sick of this glunk noise every time I swallow, sick of seeing shadows in my peripheral vision and jumping/being startled by them. I feel like a bona fide psycho crackhead, for over a month now, will it get better ?
THANK YOU in advance, much love
-On Dec 12 2015 I decided to have a crazy night out with some old friends.
-I took half a 30mg pill of Adderall after dinner, smoked some weed, headed to the club.
-Drank whiskey at the club, then took half a cap of "MDMA" dissolved in water. It was whiteish, sparkly powder. I knew it wasn't pure MDMA as I discussed w my friends who were buying and was prepared for a more ecstasy/amphetamine/speedy roll, hence why I split the adderrall with my friend to start off the night.
-We see the DJ, come up, drink a bit more whiskey, dance, have a great time. We leave the club fully high. My friends want to get more drugs. I'm on the fence- deep down I know I'm high enough, but I've got a penchant for the stuff and decide to go with the flow. My friend hands me a cap and they say lets all take a full one.
-This is just over 2 hrs after dropping the first half cap. I know if I'm doing it I should do it fast bc I don't want to start coming down before this full cap hits. I put it in my mouth and my friend says bite on the cap because the plastic is really thick. I do but I barely crack it. I swallow it.
-This was a pretty big ass blue and white cap. From splitting it open the first time, I'd guess there was up to 0.35 of stuff in there. Realistically probably 0.28.
-We continue partying, I switch to water, I am definitely high, standing up and stretching a lot, talking a bit and being friendly, we decide to go to a 3rd club.
-The music is insane at the 3rd club. I am super happy, dancing, and I think to myself, I've nailed it (the Addy + .5 cap + full cap combo)
-Friends wanna smoke a joint and I'm soooo down. We smoke then come back inside, at this point I'm dancing and I'm like WOAH! Woahahahah this weed really kicked in the drugs! Damn! Nice! (I'm happy cause I usually smoke way more weed than that when rolling)
-Then I get progressively more and more high, until I seriously feel a *THUMP* as if a tiny stone fell from my upper body into my stomach, and I went from being "a girl who was high" to being "a girl who was ON DRUGS". I was fully in drug world, could barely stop my feet moving, was panting.
-I'm telling myself this is what I wanted and I can handle it. Keep dancing.
-Before this night, I did not do hard drugs for 1 year (except some bumps of Ketamine), but before that year of abstinence, I did MDMA often, perhaps once a month, to dance and have fun.
-I realize I'm an idiot and what I thought was the weed activating more potency, was more likely the second full cap finally kicking in. I should have cracked the cap, or done it in water like the first, or just done another half not a full.
-I go through the motions but something is off. I'm sweating like crazy and starting to feel really uncomfortable. I feel like everyone is looking at me in the club and I'm paranoid that I look very obviously on drugs. I tell my friends I wanna go home and put pjs on and smoke weed.
-at this point it's 7:30 am. We go home and do just that. When we get home and I am rolling a joint I realize I have no voice. What the fuck? It is almost comical. Wasn't I screaming and talking just now/the whole night? When did my voice go away? Suddenly only the hoarsest rasp was coming out of my throat and that was painful. I resort to whispering. It is funny.
-I call my boyfriend who is in another country. He freaks out at me cause I didn't tell him I was doing drugs. He says oh fuck, your pupils are dilated as fuck, your jaw is out of control. He is right.
-I look at myself on the video chat and I cannot speak because my voice is gone and my jaw is chattering uncontrollably.
-I start to get scared, paranoid of police, hearing every noise from the apartment above SUPER loudly, paranoid of what I took. I have a comedown from HELL. Hands down worst in my life. It felt like tiny knives scraping the inside of my scalp and neck. Sheer pain. Heart pounding. Sweating.
-I roll joints, smoke joints, lie on the couch, talk, listen to my friends talk, listen to music. I finally sleep at around 9pm.
-when I wake up, I feel like shit. I can barely move my neck. The base of my neck and where it connects to my head /the back of my head are in a lot of pain. My feet hurt. I feel...stupid. My mind is blank. The word "retarded" came into my mind. I lay on the couch and smoked weed all day.
-I make it home to my moms 2 days later. I wake up and vomit water. My voice is still wrecked. I have a sore throat. I'm exhausted and weak. Why did I do this? I stopped for a year. I had so much energy and life and enthusiasm in me, that I had built up, and I zapped it all away yet again on a night out.
-I resign myself to the slow recovery process. And to just have a good attitude about it. I take 5htp. And throat lozenges.
-we fly to our Christmas vacation ~2 days later. Then fly again. Then swim in the ocean. Then fly again. Then I wake up with a raging pain in my left ear. My ear proceeded to be painfully popped for over 2 weeks. I saw a doctor and he said it wasn't from an infection, not red and no sand in there. Every time I swallow or chew gum it's popping around.
-I realize it must have been the pressure my jaw put on my inner ear, followed by all those flights. I'm pissed at myself and in pain.
-I start to realize my vision is different. I can't focus on people's faces far away, and I'm way more sensitive to light /need more time to adjust when I walk out into the sunshine and it's painful at first. I begin to worry. From then, my vision has been off, and my ears have been popped, for over 3 weeks.
-so where are we now? Jan 22. I finally saw an opthamologist. He examined my optic nerve and retina and said everything looks ok. I saw a general doctor who I told about the drugs. He said the symptoms sound like what I took was crystal meth /meth.
-let me be clear- what's up with my vision. You know when you stand up too fast and get a head rush, and your vision is flooded with light? It's like that, slightly, everywhere. Like when you have a migraine and there's light on the sides of your vision, but it's not just on the sides, it's everywhere. I feel pain in my eye muscles when I change the direction that I'm looking. I feel if I look at a lamp, then look away, the lamp's light kinda follows me too much. It's also harder to focus.
-I also have a slight ringing in my ears still, and my ear is uncomfortably blocked. However now it's evenly blocked in both ears, before it was just the left. Also have slight vertigo.
-I believe the doc that what I took was cut with meth. My friends mentioned it's becoming more common. Also that would explain my comedown, and how the back of my head hurt, cause what I didn't know, was that it's a CENTRAL NERVOUS SYSTEM DRUG. Fuck my life. This could be why I lost my voice, my ears were damaged, and my eyesight. (And why the soles of my feet hurt -lots of nerve endings.)
-even now, I swear im in a mild "comedown"-like pain in my spine, between my shoulder blades. I think that shits still in me and it's slowly trickling out.
What do you guys think? Sound like meth? Do you think I could have caused serious /permanent cognitive damage from that one night? (Of course, taking pure MDMA regularly for 2 years with a 1 year break before that night, would not have helped.)
I'm used to having my seratonin shot after a night out, but this was different. I was trying to text "oui" in French (which I also speak), and pressed the "w" key instead of "o". (If you were writing in English, "oui" would be pronounced "wee".) It freaked me out because my language, thinking, writing skills are really important to me. As are my vision and hearing obviously...
I feel I have played with fire and flirted with death. Have you experienced similar vision issues? Do you know if there's anything I can do to speed the healing process? Supplements, diet exercise, anything??
(Overall, I honestly feel like I've had a concussion. Been whacked good on the head. I've had a concussion ~4 years ago and how I'm feeling now feels similar to how I remember that.)
I'm sick of this blocked congested head, sick of ringing in my ears, sick of this glunk noise every time I swallow, sick of seeing shadows in my peripheral vision and jumping/being startled by them. I feel like a bona fide psycho crackhead, for over a month now, will it get better ?
THANK YOU in advance, much love
