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Snoo V. IX Sexcapades on Motorcycles

Every few hours. 10 minutes on defrost. I'm sure your balls and contents are just splendid...
 
On the subject of balls.....

I stuck a small load in the washing machine last night consisting of a couple of pairs of boxers and some socks. Anyway I (incorrectly it seems) used a full portion of persil detergent and it seems it didn't wash away properly cos about an hour ago I felt this terrible burning pain on my sac and after inspection I seem to have suffered sever chemical burns of the scotal area caused by the aformentioned unwashed-away detergent...

My sac is now bright red and stinging like a bitch (and I'm out shopping) so have had to go commando for the journey home....

Could only happen to me (or possibly FUBAR.) :)
 
No not really Don.....

But chemical burns of the sac really is quite unlucky :(
 
I know where there's a replacement one available, if you can find someone to do the job. They'd better bring some proper hardcore drugs, though. Shouldn't be hard with your connections, surely?
 
Finally got a part time job after 4 months. yes. oh god. yes.

watch me peak people.
 
thanks bruh - toking on a spliff for your immediate congratulatory response <3
 
Nice one man! Hope you enjoy your new job. Sucks being out of work. Been there done that.

Best of luck xx
 
Thank you kindly Sadie, it's frantic but also quite fun. I wish you all the best too xx

Some PLUR should be sent your way <3
 
If I lost my job, I'd have just enough money in the bank to cover my bus fare to the dole office .....
 
Don't the dole pay your busfare nowadays? Or is that just the "workprogram" (which is a misnomer if ever the was one :))

I had to get the bus the other day to the hospital when I couldnt drive because of my leg ..was a nightmare....missed my stop and went for an hour long magical mystery tour before I eventually cut my losses and got off and called a taxi....

Why don't you get a car Julie?
 
I remember when i was at uni it was only my horticultural skills that kept my head above water. Working was not an option due to the study load and the student payment scheme in Australia called Austudy barely covers rent let alone food. Some if the textbooks were up to $300 so without putting my green thumb to work i would not have survived. Even these days when i am on a pretty decent wage it can get tight..especially when i splurge on things like cocaine. But at least i am no longer looking over my shoulder for the cops like i was when i was growing herb. I think the more money you have the more you spend..you can just afford more expensive shit basically.
 
Why don't you get a car Julie?
Because when I tried taking driving lessons, I discovered that every single other road user without exception was intent on killing me. There's one woman in a blue Fiesta coming down Warwick Avenue, I still have nightmares about. Either that, or I am congenitally incapable of operating a motor vehicle at anything above walking pace. (The set-piece manoeuvres, reversing round a corner, parking, emergency stops, I'm fine with.) Some are born to drive, others are born to be driven, I guess .....
 
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Because when I tried taking driving lessons, I discovered that every single other road user without exception was intent on killing me. There's one woman in a blue Fiesta coming down Warwick Avenue, I still have nightmares about. Either that, or I am congenitally incapable of operating a motor vehicle at anything above walking pace. (The set-piece manoeuvres, reversing round a corner, parking, emergency stops, I'm fine with.) Some are born to drive, others are born to be driven, I guess .....
I have a mate who is much the same as you. His first experience driving a car resulted in an accident that he was injured in. He has never driven since. He makes big money in IT so he just gets cabs or ubers everwhere.
 
Because when I tried taking driving lessons, I discovered that every single other road user without exception was intent on killing me. There's one woman in a blue Fiesta coming down Warwick Avenue, I still have nightmares about. Either that, or I am congenitally incapable of operating a motor vehicle at anything above walking pace. (The set-piece manoeuvres, reversing round a corner, parking, emergency stops, I'm fine with.) Some are born to drive, others are born to be driven, I guess .....

Yeah other drivers are a problem....youd think they would get out of the way when they see flashing blue lights and a loud fuck off siren.....but often they don't. They often just freeze and stop in the middle of the road thus blocking it.

Since I probably drive in excess of 100,000 miles a year Its a skill that I really need to have....
 
Yeah other drivers are a problem....youd think they would get out of the way when they see flashing blue lights and a loud fuck off siren.....but often they don't. They often just freeze and stop in the middle of the road thus blocking it.

Since I probably drive in excess of 100,000 miles a year Its a skill that I really need to have....

This may be a silly question, but I take you had to pass an advanced driving course for your vehicle in order to navigate the traffic at high speed? What sort of horsepower does you average, fully kitted out, ambulance have ( I know there's a good few different models of ambulance but I'm talking about those big box Mercedes Sprinters)? I'm sure you can get a good bit of acceleration on those. The Ford Transit LWB we use doesn't have a lot of horsepower but it still has decent acceleration when it's not loaded.
 
This may be a silly question, but I take you had to pass an advanced driving course for your vehicle in order to navigate the traffic at high speed? What sort of horsepower does you average, fully kitted out, ambulance have ( I know there's a good few different models of ambulance but I'm talking about those big box Mercedes Sprinters)? I'm sure you can get a good bit of acceleration on those. The Ford Transit LWB we use doesn't have a lot of horsepower but it still has decent acceleration when it's not loaded.

You don't need the traditional advanced driving course that non emergency drivers take but you do need to pass a three week IHCD high speed/blue light driving course that is standardised for ambulance and police drivers you also need a C1 driving licence (which was an automatic right if you passed your test before 1997 but requires a seperate test today)...the high speed stuff is good fun actually and just basically involves bombing around at stupid speeds and ignoring all traffic rules such as speed limits, stopping at red lights, which side of the road to drive on etc.. Of course you've got to be able to justify your driving in the event of a crash and can't just race along at 80 in a 30 zone just cos your tea is getting cold :)

There's a of of emphasis on reversing maneuvers as well due to the sheer size of the vehicle and the absence of a rear view mirror. Like slalom reversing courses and the like.... Also you get taught "system driving" which is the oposite of how I was taught to drive when I was 17.

As for horsepower I'm not sure but the standard Merc. Sprinters are 2.0 ltr V6s that only get 19mpg... They're pretty heavy though fully kitted out. The BMW X1 rapid response cars (that I mostly drive) are pretty nippy though..
 
Oh aye, I forgot that you use the rapid response car. I am now reminded due to that photograph you posted featuring the exquisite bollard :D

I saw a program a while ago about the advanced high-speed driving course that road traffic police have to pass. It really demonstrated how fast your reactions need to be. It also demonstrated why so many untrained drivers crash so easily when they travel at ridiculous speeds.

Road safety is really drilled home here in NI. We, tragically, have a high number of road traffic deaths in this province and the DOE advertisements are very shocking. I don't know how shocking the road safety ads are in mainland UK.

This one is particularly heart-wrenching :(

This one, too.

Fuck, I forgot this one.

EDIT: I just realised that the last one was a British version, so that probably answers my question.
 
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