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January Getting/Staying Clean v. Sober for the New Year

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Cold, but clean! :) Another day down, feeling so much better.

P0kemama: I'm so proud of your plans, and I hope they work out well for you. <3
 
^ CH: Thank you for your support!! I feel optimistic, as I am also busier these days, so I don't obsess as badly. BTW: I am reading two books written by a Siberian female psychiatrist who now works at a recovery center in California. It is so interesting... its a true story of her shamanic journey through the mountains of Eastern Europe... and how she used a shaman for her own psychic healing from childhood trauma.
 
I achieved my goal today of locking up a bunch of my opiates in my safe deposit box! I struggled a bit between keeping them here and locking them up, and remembered that every step I take to break my addiction weakens it. So, by keeping them out of easy reach will hopefully keep me at a minimal dose, just to manage my pain, and to also avoid withdrawals. So, I am in a good place for the rest of the month.
 
I achieved my goal today of locking up a bunch of my opiates in my safe deposit box! I struggled a bit between keeping them here and locking them up, and remembered that every step I take to break my addiction weakens it. So, by keeping them out of easy reach will hopefully keep me at a minimal dose, just to manage my pain, and to also avoid withdrawals. So, I am in a good place for the rest of the month.

Congrats!!! <3
 
It's not major, but I'm going into my fourth month being clean from heroin today... I think about it all the time, every time I take my Percocet, I get the same little rush that made me run into heroin's arms... my withdrawals only took a week to subside, and it felt like I had a bad case of the flu.

I'm not completely off opiates, because I need the pain medication for my back issues. What I am completely done with is putting powder up my nose, then getting sick for a couple of hours only to sniff some more. I'm glad I have marijuana, when I smoke it really takes my mind off of wanting to do anything else. I also tend to read a lot of "heroin horror stories" involving people getting bad batches, and that's when I realized I'm playing Russian Roulette with my life. So I'm done. For good. I'm glad everyone is doing good, too.

CH, I see your posts all the time, you're such an insightful person. You've got this! I see the potential in you to fight your frustration and be clean every day. It sucks, I know, but you've been doing it for so long and that's so good!
 
At two months sober.

Not feeling too inspired lately. Feeling the most exhausted I've ever felt in my life, mentally and physically.

My brain has gone into overdrive since quitting. Which technically happened the first time one year ago, aside from a relapse this past summer.

This has been the most exhausting year of my life and I can't seem to stop finding things to worry about even though nothing is exactly wrong. I suppose this is what they call 'adrenal fatigue'.

At least I am still putting one foot in front of the other. :/
 
Congratulations! I can totally relate to you. I'm at 10 months + 21 days sober. It gets easier with time.
Try to exercise, find out something you are good at such as hobby and keep yourself busy. Whatever suits you.

Be patient, and know that this is all part of the process.
Look how much you have already done. Focus on the present day.

This is just a phase and it will pass.
Soon, you'll have other issues that will be different but for the moment enjoy your achievement!

Good luck!!
Erik
The small things will do the trick.
 
If you fell down yesterday, stand up today.

- H.G. Wells
from The Anatomy of Frustration
 
If you can't change it, you must stand it.

Good luck everyone. I had a great weekend with the lovely Sweetzoe. It is refreshing to have a reason to get healthy and want to rebuild a decent lifestyle again.
 
6 days clean from my opiate addiction!!

Starting to feel a lot better, aside from the chills and being freezing all the time, I am managing!

This forum and all of your stories keep me going and fighting the good fight!

I want my life back, I don't want to struggle anymore due to my addiction, I am better than that!

Much love to all of you!!
 
^ hell yeah you can ch <3

@lakersfan- great job! You totally got this. 6 days is awesome! Just keep at it and it's just going to keep getting better. I feel like you won't use if you don't want to.
<3

As for me, I'm at 45 days today! Woop Woop :)
I have slept a whole 9 hours in the last 5 nights, so that's just awesome. Sigh.. Gotta call and make a damn doctors appointment to see if I can get something to help with the sleep.
So glad to be clean today :) I'm looking forward to these amazing things coming into my life :) <3

" I always had a repulsive need to be something more than human."
-David Bowie
R.I.P Goblin King <3
(1.8.1947-1.10.2016)


EXjg
 
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CH: "store brand coffee and hours of sitting" sounds like my experience of waiting to sign up for health insurance on the state exchange...I hope you are able to read or find something distracting or calming to pass the time. I am having too much fun babysitting my beautiful little granddaughter: another perk of being off all drugs other than a minimal amount of prescribed pain meds. ( 30 mg oxy is today's dosage.) Just enough medication so I can pick her up easily without pain, and yet I am clear headed.
 
CH: "store brand coffee and hours of sitting" sounds like my experience of waiting to sign up for health insurance on the state exchange...I hope you are able to read or find something distracting or calming to pass the time. I am having too much fun babysitting my beautiful little granddaughter: another perk of being off all drugs other than a minimal amount of prescribed pain meds. ( 30 mg oxy is today's dosage.) Just enough medication so I can pick her up easily without pain, and yet I am clear headed.

I have had a few humorous thoughts to get me through today.
 
After a slightly impulsive meeting with mother iboga last night, and a little catnap just now, I'm feeling so refreshed and reborn. I mean, at least compared to how I felt at like 4pm yesterday (absolutely miserable with my then current state). I am definitely looking forward to the rest of the drug to finish wearing off, but I'm also, well, just looking forward to having a really good afternoon today :)

But more than anything, I only have to wait one more month for what I want more than anything right now (and pretty much all the time). And... well, yea. Gonna be sooooo amazing. Oh yea, and I'm so excited about going to the post office today! Like a little fucking girl on her 16th bday or somewhat. LOL I knew I was forgetting something %) <3 :)

May those of your who are having a slow start to the day and/or are suffering out there find some rest, relaxation and joy <3
 
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