Lol.
Didn't you know Mrs. Claus was just a made up character? Like the easter bunny.
Yeah, there are a lot of moving parts. Santa being asexual may fit - I think the extent of his sexuality is jerking off while watching families sleep. His strange lack of documentation in regards to childhood leads me to believe he spawned as adult, or possible raised by elves in the forest. Not sure about the nature of the elves relation ship with him, but he is clearly the most fit to drive stick, as elves can't even reach the clutch. Now, the mystery behind him and the whole alleged human rights fiasco is just something that the world may never know..