second time around through methadone w/d I think?

[depressed as fuck]

hello out there folks, I'm a new member, but have been on the site many times in the past. I really need some help on determining what the fuck is going on with me. As you can tell from my post title, I really am not sure what the hell us going on. I was on percolating for a couple years originally, which I abused from day 1. Then later on I took methadone in pill form for 6 months I guess. Not knowing shot about withdrawals or even that they existed, in my ignorance, I went to the doctor, and told him not to write me anymore prescriptions. about a month later, I guess, I started having only what I can describe as the worst case of depression that I would ever experience. and when I say depressed, I mean it felt like waking up every morning, (that is, except for the fact that I would be awake for DAYS AT A TIME, 6 days once without a single minute of sleep) and being told that everyone I loved is dead. I had no idea that this thing was related t i the opoates, until now, I think, 5 YEARS LATER. I spent literally hours on end pouring over the Internet trying to figure out what was wrong with me, to no avail. the stupid doctors prescribed me benzos, which yaw know for a drug addict, only made things worse. Oh, they worked for a while, but only made things worse in the end, when I finally ended up in a 42 day hospitalization, during which I continuously paced the floor ALL DAY, EVERY DAY, so much so, that the other patients there nicknamed me WALKER, Texas Ranger. Funny, right! Well now, 5 years later after I used oxys for about a year, then went to the methadone clinic to get off, starting at 30mg, then moving down to 20 in a week, stayed on 20 for 3 months, then went to 15 for a week, 10 for a week, then cold turkey for a week now, I'm starting to feel those familiar feelings of depression like Hell on earth! Is this normal? What can.I do? Please help. I really don't think I have the strength to go through this again. The last time these feelings lasted almost a year! Somebody pleasee tell me what's going on

 

[Smoky]

Hi, Welcome to Bluelight ! !

I understand the pacing back and forth. I have come off a few cns depressants myself, opiates and benzos - didn't sleep for days one time. What prompted you to start the percs originally? How are you now? I ask as there are other medications that might ease the suffering that are not addictive that could help you. Of course a doctor would know best.

I'm so sorry you are in this place. I have been in severe depression WITH insomnia myself. Here is the The Opioid Withdrawal Megathread and FAQ, and the * Methadone Maintenance Therapy (MMT) MEGATHREAD *.

If you are having pain search for pain management thread. In the interim I could move your thread to a Recovery area, Drug Discussion or Other Drugs. Please let me know….

This might be the most difficult thing to do in your life but there is a light at the end of the tunnel. Hang in there! Please don't hesitate to ask me any questions.

 

[depressed as fuck]

I originally started percs for back/neck pain. It is hereditary, degenerative disc disease, and really bad arthritis. This was when I was 28 or so. I am now 40, and the pain is much worse, but the depression is worse than any of it

 

[Smoky]

I will move your post to ---- > The Dark Side. This is part of the recovery area. If a moderator feels it necessary to move elsewhere or you would like another forum please let me know. I have DDD and receive acupuncture weekly and utilize chinese medicine, which certainly isn't like an opiate but provides some relief.