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Dealing with self-imposed isolation? (help please)

Burnt Offerings

Moderator: Drug Culture & CEP
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Often I feel like one of the most problematic issues associated with drug addiction is the environment you eventually get placed in, involving nobody but fellow dope users who don't give a shit about you other than the fact that you either are a way for them to make money, or you supply them with the drugs they like. Admittedly I've associated myself with people I have a personal dislike of just so I could get high, so I'm hardly a saint when it comes to this either.

However, this has led to me having basically no friends. all of my so-called friends at the moment are "dope friends". My few interpersonal relationships that were pre-drugs all involve people who don't live in the city I currently reside in, either that or they moved (can't say as I blame them). It's Saturday night and, like many weekend nights lately, I've debated going out to the bar and trying to meet some new people, or at least re-connect with some of the people I used to know before my self-imposed "exile". But just staying home and getting high pretty much always wins. It's like an instant remedy to having no relationships. Heroin is especially terrible in regards to this phenomenon, I've found.

I desperately want to make friends, have sexual relationships with women again, and have meaningful interpersonal relationships with people who don't use drugs (or at least who don't snort methamphetamine and heroin on a regular basis). I'm struggling with this in a big way though. Can anyone offer any guidance? I know that I should probably go about this by pursuing other interests of mine, but sadly I feel like I don't have any real hobbies or interests anymore. :(
 
Hi there.

(My English is very rusty atm so sorry for that in advance :|)


I have Been having the same problems as you. I don't use heroin anymore but I'm still on methadone and drink a couple of beers every night. I was addicted to heroin for about 10 years and used just about every other drug out there. I have not used heroin for about 2 years now. So I'm happy with that :). But don't have a lot of social interaction outside of my job. Guess you could say it gets pretty boring like this :\. I would like to contact some of my old friends but I kinda feel like a yerk for the way I treated them all those years ago. And it a big bridge for my to cross.

Anyway just wanted to give you a heads up. And tell you that you that you should not let it grow any bigger then it is. It won't get any easier. If you get what I mean? Just stop thinking about it and just try some stuff(not drugs ;) ) . The longer you wait the harder it gets.

Good luck....
 
Hello Burnt Offerings,

I know this situation by myself. But to be honestly I do not think it is really a drug problem. It makes it only bigger.
What is what you see, when you look arround. Everything is upside down, egoism.

... for you first question is. How old are you round about, which country - do you have interessts?
 
I'm 27 years old and I live in the USA. I don't really have any interests currently except getting high.
 
Drugs breed isolation IMO. How can you do anything else when drugs register on pleasure scale 25 and everything else is less than 6 AT BEST. I isolated myself for months with my addixtion. Only seeing my dealer and the atm machine...even cut out my ONE friend who shot up too. Big mistake...he kept me grounded in a way.

If you want your friends back I think the drugs may have to take a back seat. I landed myself in the hospital currently and I have a bunch of old friends crawling out of the woodworks showing love and support. I'm saddened by my own abandoning of them for such shifty reasons.

Subconscious self loathing from use makes you distance yourself from the healthy and happy

Harumscxarum'Cheerfully Wreckless'
 
Unfortunately, drugs, friends and meaningful relationships don't mix. In chances they do, they don't last, also because of the drugs. But you already know this. Friends and loved ones expect and deserve love, honesty and respect. While on drugs, its impossible to offer those.
 
Okay 27 years is not so much. Have you the chance to move to another country - like Canada? Because I think you can not get normal in the US (this is only my opinion). So much kids on Ritalin, Adderal, Xanax etc...
... do you know the song from the Rolling Stones - Mothers little helper? ;)

If you smoke like a rastafari in a group ceremony it will not isolate it brings the ppl together. It is enviroment dependent. Best taking drugs for spiritualism. And for nothing else.

IMHO

Greetings from Germany
 
Moving to another country seems like a drastic solution. I can't move to another country, I don't have the resources or connections to make that happen. I don't think that I'd want to even if I did...this is my home, as fucked up as it may be. Besides pills/prescription drugs were never my downfall. Methamphetamine and heroin are the big ones.
 
Hey harumscxarum

Hey harum i was reading your posts and want to get in touch with u my name is JAY JAY i am from Portland and moving to phoenix anyway we "my fiancee and i " we stopped in las vegas. To get a different change of scenery<snip>
Drugs breed isolation IMO. How can you do anything else when drugs register on pleasure scale 25 and everything else is less than 6 AT BEST. I isolated myself for months with my addixtion. Only seeing my dealer and the atm machine...even cut out my ONE friend who shot up too. Big mistake...he kept me grounded in a way.

If you want your friends back I think the drugs may have to take a back seat. I landed myself in the hospital currently and I have a bunch of old friends crawling out of the woodworks showing love and support. I'm saddened by my own abandoning of them for such shifty reasons.

Subconscious self loathing from use makes you distance yourself from the healthy and happy

Harumscxarum'Cheerfully Wreckless'
 
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You have to choose. You can either decide to be a loner or be social. Obviously you can't do both. If you want to be high, the best thing to do is to lock yourself in your room. You understand the stigma of drug use and how damaging it is to your reputation. Getting high and being social with others would draw too much negative attention to yourself because ordinary people are too misinformed to accept you for who you are. Don't put yourself in the spotlight.
 
Moving to another country seems like a drastic solution. I can't move to another country, I don't have the resources or connections to make that happen. I don't think that I'd want to even if I did...this is my home, as fucked up as it may be. Besides pills/prescription drugs were never my downfall. Methamphetamine and heroin are the big ones.
Yeah, there is no magical border that makes you change your life when you cross it. However, for certain drugs like meth, sometimes the only way to really beat it is to relocate to another area where your connections are not available. Of course, you have to be determined not to seek out new connections, but sometimes the key is accepting you will have moments of weakness, and taking steps to remove those opportunities to trip yourself up.
 
This is what I am like without heroin. I do nothing. I stare at a wall until I have heroin again suffering unbearably.

When I have heroin, I have a great time. I go out and see family, friends, I get serious about my career, daily yoga for hours, I try to find a new girl, I cook amazing delicious vegetarian food and drink a lot of tea... with heroin I am the healthiest and most efficient and most likeable and most productive version of myself that I could ever possibly be. It is my everything. I really try hard in life and my chronic pain is cured, my depression is cured, everything about me is cured apart from my panic disorder (but there are kpins for that... lol). I am an excellent worker with heroin but otherwise I don't bother to even apply for a job.

The problem I have is that I typically run out of heroin before I get any real momentum going. This is why I want to switch to IV use since shooting up one time last month it is on my mind a lot. I know it would stretch my supply long enough to really get some momentum going and get into a career job very quickly again instead of fuckin running out and chasing my supply constantly. However, whenever I have a career job I get paid well in my field and I never ever run out. These are the good times. I'm in between jobs at the moment and it is absolute fucking hell. I will rarely leave my bed let alone my house without heroin. I will do the bare minimum to take care of myself as well - minimal hydration as I'm too lazy to get a glass of ice water, a little tea, rarely eat, my health goes to shit without heroin. Everything falls apart but when I have the heroin it is like I do not even need to try. It's like it somehow gives me luck, I've even experienced telepathy on it. It connects me to my life and the universe like nothing else, but when I run out it's just shit. I literally just stare at a wall experiencing suffering of withdrawal until I am able to get it again.

I need money to have it all the time like when I had my previous career jobs. I can't wait to have a job again and be able to fund my habit properly.
 
This is what I am like without heroin. I do nothing. I stare at a wall until I have heroin again suffering unbearably.

When I have heroin, I have a great time. I go out and see family, friends, I get serious about my career, daily yoga for hours, I try to find a new girl, I cook amazing delicious vegetarian food and drink a lot of tea... with heroin I am the healthiest and most efficient and most likeable and most productive version of myself that I could ever possibly be. It is my everything. I really try hard in life and my chronic pain is cured, my depression is cured, everything about me is cured apart from my panic disorder (but there are kpins for that... lol). I am an excellent worker with heroin but otherwise I don't bother to even apply for a job.

The problem I have is that I typically run out of heroin before I get any real momentum going. This is why I want to switch to IV use since shooting up one time last month it is on my mind a lot. I know it would stretch my supply long enough to really get some momentum going and get into a career job very quickly again instead of fuckin running out and chasing my supply constantly. However, whenever I have a career job I get paid well in my field and I never ever run out. These are the good times. I'm in between jobs at the moment and it is absolute fucking hell. I will rarely leave my bed let alone my house without heroin. I will do the bare minimum to take care of myself as well - minimal hydration as I'm too lazy to get a glass of ice water, a little tea, rarely eat, my health goes to shit without heroin. Everything falls apart but when I have the heroin it is like I do not even need to try. It's like it somehow gives me luck, I've even experienced telepathy on it. It connects me to my life and the universe like nothing else, but when I run out it's just shit. I literally just stare at a wall experiencing suffering of withdrawal until I am able to get it again.

I need money to have it all the time like when I had my previous career jobs. I can't wait to have a job again and be able to fund my habit properly.
\

I hate how u can be clean from opiates and still just lose that lust for life or that thrill for motivation. Just appearing to be so boring. Dude just a little bit of oxy or a couple puffs from the pipe and I am a million bucks with amazing plans. strategic thinking. stretch for an hour and hit the gym for an hour. but then without it, just such a fuckin dweeb. scrub city. turning on my xbox to play a game then not even having the strength to turn up the volume in a result of just staring at the ceiling on my couch, etc etc. I totally feel this.
 
Keep in mind, while IV/IM use might be far more efficient than smoking and snorting is, tolerance will quickly build to a point where you'll be in the same situation running out. It's just a matter of time for your particular body chemistry and habit.

Just saying that the problem isn't going to go away. I would caution anyone interested in establishing themselves in a career, especially a new career, against propping that up with serious heroin use. There isn't anything wrong with it if you can make it work, it's just not ideal.
 
Okay 27 years is not so much. Have you the chance to move to another country - like Canada? Because I think you can not get normal in the US (this is only my opinion).
This is totally false. Drugs are everywhere.
 
Yes and if history has taught us anything it is that Germany is the land of friendship : )
 
The way you describe your struggle are very similar to mine.

I am 31 today. Before my addiction I had a very large circle of friends and I liked being social. However, as my addiction got worse people started noticing and I lost the contact to more and more friends. Of my closest friends, only three followed my through my addiction and helped me. Today I am on methadone treatment and working et cetera. So I am starting to getting my life back, but I feel lonely. I have a very hard time taking contact to people I knew before for some reason. So the friends I make is mostly new ones. I am lucky I am working as I get relationships there, but you also need friends that are not work related.

I have always been interested in strength training and competition and I have returned to this and starting to making friends here. But if you don't have any interests yet it is hard.

My advice to you, would be to try starting out different spare time interests. Getting new things to do is an important part of staying clean. So you could try fishing, hunting, bowling, playing pool, collecting stuff. ANYTHING. Stay with it for a couple of weeks, becayse you WILL NOT like anything the very first time you try it. You will have to give it some time. Initially you find something you like and then you will start meeting new people.
Do it sounds completely ridicoulous are can you see yourself giving it a try?
 
I have found my post opiate abuse life to be a constant learning experience. First I learned how to be the me I always was but was too lost to be. This is like the allegory of the cave to me, it was such a change from the fake life i was living that the experiences were so new they hurt (feelings and everything came back much like the prisoners never used their eyes in the cave)

Once i became acclimated to this new self i started experimenting with hobbies that were mine before heroin. I got back into science and chemistry hard and sprung several hobbies off those. I spent a while developing my hobbies fine tuning my new persona as the mad scientist i always wanted to be. During this time any activity not in the lab or advancing science was done on ketamine, i didnt realize it but i still had addict tendancies and even though i had been off dope for 8 months at this point and on methadone i was still spending all my money on k.

That continued until there was a drought and i had made a bet that i would be moved out of my parents house by the time my next birthday came, this was me learning to be financially stable. During this time i had learned how to budget and plan well. This taught me the pleasure in growing a savings and delayed gratification.

The next most recent lesson was emotional. I too have struggled with friendship and connection. I guess being a drug addict taught me to question all my interactions with people and in doing so put up a type of barrier. This part of the story is odd in a way but nice. After getting clean i reconnected with my old style of doing so and in a sense found a new favorite band and fell in love with the lead singers voice. So recently i decided fuck it im seeing them in nyc i dont care if i have to go alone im candy flipping i love this woman's voice it will be great to hear her in person.

So I have never been quite so excited to see a band before having wondered what she sounds like in person. Naturally I go hard as i could while being comfortable navigating the city and whatever, 5 hits of L 300mg of molly (this represents the upper boundary of what i would take i wanted this to be special) Needless to say i was over overwhelmingly emotional of an experience for me as i apparently developed a crush on the singer having only really known her voice and seeing her sing and speak as if to me was amazing. And as stupid as it sounds she took the time waving to parts of the audience and if i didnt know better id say we made eye contact and she waved to me.

It all sounds trivial but that last bit, i havent felt strong emotions in so long. I was in a 6 year relationship with my ex we got clean together but that concert made me realize maybe i need more human connectivity, maybe i do actually want a relationship. It sounds silly but that concert taught me something about me that i didnt know in the almost 2 years of being clean, i am capable of strong emotion i can only wonder what that would be like if it was directed toward someone who knew my existence, maybe ive been lying to myself for so long about not caring... maybe i do care. It was powerful enough to completely throw everything i thought about myself upside down. I thought I wanted to be alone and enjoyed it... I do but it was just so refreshing feeling like i wanted someones attention for once and what it was like to feel some kind of acknowledgement and connectivity though brief and meaningless... she made me feel like a teenager again.

My point is if you stay on the path of being clean and developing yourself you never know what youll discover. It was amazing for me to feel that way i dont care what did it. It is just so weird to learn a lesson like this at 30, I thought if there was any one person i knew it was me... i guess im still full of surprises. I know its slightly off topic but my point is it takes time to get to these revelations, if you stick on the path youll end up better for it, its just a long path because its life.
 
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This is what I am like without heroin. I do nothing. I stare at a wall until I have heroin again suffering unbearably.

When I have heroin, I have a great time. I go out and see family, friends, I get serious about my career, daily yoga for hours, I try to find a new girl, I cook amazing delicious vegetarian food and drink a lot of tea... with heroin I am the healthiest and most efficient and most likeable and most productive version of myself that I could ever possibly be. It is my everything. I really try hard in life and my chronic pain is cured, my depression is cured, everything about me is cured apart from my panic disorder (but there are kpins for that... lol). I am an excellent worker with heroin but otherwise I don't bother to even apply for a job.

The problem I have is that I typically run out of heroin before I get any real momentum going. This is why I want to switch to IV use since shooting up one time last month it is on my mind a lot. I know it would stretch my supply long enough to really get some momentum going and get into a career job very quickly again instead of fuckin running out and chasing my supply constantly. However, whenever I have a career job I get paid well in my field and I never ever run out. These are the good times. I'm in between jobs at the moment and it is absolute fucking hell. I will rarely leave my bed let alone my house without heroin. I will do the bare minimum to take care of myself as well - minimal hydration as I'm too lazy to get a glass of ice water, a little tea, rarely eat, my health goes to shit without heroin. Everything falls apart but when I have the heroin it is like I do not even need to try. It's like it somehow gives me luck, I've even experienced telepathy on it. It connects me to my life and the universe like nothing else, but when I run out it's just shit. I literally just stare at a wall experiencing suffering of withdrawal until I am able to get it again.

I need money to have it all the time like when I had my previous career jobs. I can't wait to have a job again and be able to fund my habit properly.

Thank you for making this post shroomy...I don't have anything to add except that that this post describes me..and my current life situation to a T........The only things I can think of to correct this /my situation..is to take some drastic measures..force myself out of comfort zones.......and try and make some changes....remember in life ..."it's not where you are ...who you are ..what you have ... that determines whether you are happy or unhappy....it's what you think about it...
 
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