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About to withdrawal from H. Very anxious. Need all the support I can get

N

NewLife14

Greenlighter
Joined
Oct 29, 2015
Messages
16
I've been reading threads on BL for weeks now and this is my first time posting. I'm 35, and I have a nasty, heavy addiction to heroin. I did the last of my bags at 4 and I'm out of dope & money. I know this day has been coming. I've prepared as best as I can. I have 5 8 mg subs, and access to more when I need them. I have 3 bottles of Imodium. ( I really only bought one but found 2 full unopened bottles in the back of my linen closet) I have pepto, melatonin, ibuprofen, multi vitamins, tums and a small amount of weed. I'm a single mom of 2 great kids. Just moved back with my parents to get on my feet because I'm in debt largely due to my habit. I used to be able to take subs during the day and use h at night after work but I started IV'ing the last year and now it's been straight h. Days of sub here and there but since I started shooting I get horrible PWD. I know I'm not waiting long enough but I can't handle the sickness and I have to function for the kids. I am horribly depressed and anxious. I no longer enjoy h. I want to be done so so bad. If I can just get through the physical wd's I know I have the fight in me to stay clean. My mom thinks I'm on just subs and when I'm "sick" I tell her it's wd from weening down on the sub that she desperately wants me off of. Another reason that I moved back home.
I do have a lot going for me. I managed to get my bachelors and I'm just about done with my masters. I've had a good job the last 2 years, then I was laid off. So I fig now is the time as it looks like I can go back to work within the next week. But I can't in this condition. My arms are a mess. I can't even leave the house without having horrible anxiety. I just want a normal life back. I've been an addict for 10 years. I'm done. I want a better life for me and my kids. I know if I don't change now it's jail or death and I refuse to put my kids through that. I am not interested in a sub program I've done that and ended up on sub for 5 years and get nasty side effects. I would like to use subs for a short taper. I'm currently looking for addiction dr's or psychiatrists as well as na meetings or some type of after care for support after I get through detox.
Sorry this is so long. I'm freaking out. I am not good at handling wd's.
My question is... I know Imodium has helped some. What is the best way to use what I have to make this bearable. I really need advice and support ASAP
 
Google Robert 325 suboxone taper and follow it exactly...i did it off a heavy oxy habit and it worked for me... I've seen people talk shit about him on here but the fact is he has helped countless people in your same situation and his method absolutely works

He used to be active on the drugs.com forum, he would respond to anyone asking for his advice but I don't think he's been on there for several years
 
Good luck to you.
You need to do this, for yourself and for your kids..
Its never too late <3 but the longer you put it off, the more complicated things are going to become.
You're off to a great start by seeking out support here.. Try and make friends on here, friends who can relate to you...
Talking about this shit always eases the pain. So talk away, as much as you can physically bear.
Im also attempting to piss off Heroin from my lifestyle.. Its not easy man, it really isn't. But i believe we all have the guts to make it through this shit.
Best of luck to you <3
 
Thank you ❤️ I'm so disappointed in myself because I caved and used. I woke up at 4am feeling horrible. My last use was 4pm the previous day and I start to feel sick around 8-10 hrs after last use. Sometimes I don't know if it's my anxiety and I make myself feel worse by freaking out mentally. So I held off till 5:45 am and then took maybe 1mg of sub, maybe a little less. Naturally I start to panic about PWD so an hr after taking the sub I took a mega dose of lopermide. At this point I couldn't go back to sleep so i tried to zone out on tv and prayed the lop would make me feel better. Then around 9/9:30 am I got a text from my bf saying he got some $ and was going to pick up. I feel so guilty and mad at myself. I know there's no easy way out of this, but if I can just make the sub induction bearable, I think I'll be much better off. What can I take while I'm waiting to induct and during the first day or two of the induction to help me? Will the lop I took mess me up for dosing sub tomorrow a.m? My plan was to keep taking sub every morning, about 1mg, to let it build up in my system? Will that even work? I've been reading about kava kava and kratom but I'm not sure if they work or if I can use those while inducting on sub, or trying to induct on sub.
 
Also, if I call a dr today, just my regular general practitioner, and I tell them what I'm doing and taking, can I ask them for meds like neurotonin and or gabapentin, maybe a small bento script? Will these meds help me get through the first few days of getting back on subs? Does anyone have experience taking these meds with sub?
 
How long between your last hit and the sub this morning? You should be ok as long as you're sick....You might need a little more than 1mg, maybe take anothe 1mg until you feel somewhat better, then FOLLOW THE PLAN
 
I last used at 4pm on Sunday and took 1mg of sub at 6am Monday morning. I get really anxious and it's hard to not get myself worked up so I don't know what is actual wd or if I'm just freaking out. I did have horrible stomach pains, hot/cold flashes, yawns, and that creepy feeling. That all started at 4am. I tried waiting as long as I could to take sub, but I feel like when it's the middle of the night/earky a.m. I panic. I could deal with most symptoms but it's the Rls/skin crawling anxious feeling that gets me. That's why I asked if anyone had experience with valerian or kava kava to help relax my body?
 
I don't think that's enough sub, take a little more till you're at least somewhat comfortable and go from there... Read that link. Kava is probably a good idea, if I can get your hands on some benzos maybe? Careful with those tough don't take um every day for more than like a week... Hang in there!
 
I found the best relief for that RLS, anxiety was to make a cup of chamomile tea with kava in it after taking the hottest shower possible. I almost always dozed off for about an hour before symptoms slowly started returning. I would do this 3-4 times a day
 
Is there a liquid form of kava that I could put in the tea or is there actually a tea with kava in it?
 
I have a liquid form with a dropper that I got at the local health food/vitamin store. If you don't have one I am sure you can get a rush delivery online
 
Lol, o my gosh! You are in like and identical situation to me! I am serious, I'm about to post, if you have time read it. Maybe we can do this,together and post to each other about our progress! What works?
 
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