• H&R Moderators: VerbalTruist | cdin | Lil'LinaptkSix

Sober Living Social Thread

I liked the 12 in 12. It is insightful, and actually is helping me write my own protocol. Some of the traditions are really good.
 
I'm feeling liberated of my house guest. I forget how I have a tendency to let people impose on me when I want nothing to do with them or their bullshit. It's hard with loved ones you haven't seen in a long time. I almost prefer getting comfortable with strangers I share shit in common with than people I know I don't. But that would be too easy.

Anyways, I'm taking care of myself this morning until I get some figurative soul food and companionship in tonight. God knows I need it.
 
I do miss the community and working with other people since I left AA. I had a wonderful home group in Jacksonville, but since moving to Wilmington I haven't found one where I fit in. We have a huge substance abuse community down here. Many times there are people who attend meetings because of court - they have no desire to be there so they talk on the phone etc and it's too frustrating to deal with. The group geared toward older people are very strict. They meet three times a day and if you don't make all meetings every day they treat you like you're relapsing and you're not part of the group :/

The court-ordered AA/NA thing is such BS...that was actually how I first encountered AA/NA. I got a drug charge and they ordered me to attend weekly AA/NA meetings, as a condition of my probation. Either or, I simply choose AA because there were more meetings than NA (and, in a city with a metro area larger than 1 million, there were many meetings every day). It was so pointless...I resented being forced to attend those meetings and, since alcohol is one substance that I've never had a problem with (I hate the feeling of being "drunk" 99% of the time) I didn't feel like I had anything in common with any of the people in attendance.

They also made me take intensive outpatient drug treatment. My possession of a controlled substance charge was for THC, and the first day I was in that program I had a conversation with a guy who had 1 day sober from IV heroin...supposedly he had been sleeping on a mattress under a highway overpass, slamming dope all day and panhandling. One day I saw him strike up a conversation with another person I knew was there for IV heroin, then about two weeks later both of them vanished from the program. Another woman was in there because she got blackout drunk, got behind the wheel of her car and plowed into a parked cop car, putting the cop (who was sitting in the driver's seat at the time) into intensive care at the hospital. So those were the kinds of substance abusers I was grouped in with, after getting busted for possession of hashish 8)

The whole experience left me embittered and ultimately probably did more harm than good, when it came to keeping me away from drugs...that's why I've always been opposed to that kind of thing

The man who teached the outpatient program was actually a really good guy, though. He was a former cocaine dealer/cocaine addict who had spent a lot of time in prison in both Detroit and Texas (where I lived at that time), had caught lots of charges in his using days, been shot at etc. He was just a really compassionate individual who treated everyone with respect & spoke with a voice of real authenticity when it came to issues surrounding drugs and addiction. The one thing he said that's always stuck with me is that you have got to be want to be sober for YOU, not for anyone else (i.e. your girlfriend/boyfriend/wife/husband, your family, the criminal justice system, etc)...until the desire to abstain from problematic substance usage originates from a genuine individual desire, you're more likely to fail in your efforts. Still believe that to this day. It's a long-term goal of mine to write a letter to that guy and thank him for some of his insights actually, I still remember his name...
 
The court-ordered AA/NA thing is such BS...that was actually how I first encountered AA/NA. I got a drug charge and they ordered me to attend weekly AA/NA meetings, as a condition of my probation. Either or, I simply choose AA because there were more meetings than NA (and, in a city with a metro area larger than 1 million, there were many meetings every day). It was so pointless...I resented being forced to attend those meetings and, since alcohol is one substance that I've never had a problem with (I hate the feeling of being "drunk" 99% of the time) I didn't feel like I had anything in common with any of the people in attendance.

They also made me take intensive outpatient drug treatment. My possession of a controlled substance charge was for THC, and the first day I was in that program I had a conversation with a guy who had 1 day sober from IV heroin...supposedly he had been sleeping on a mattress under a highway overpass, slamming dope all day and panhandling. One day I saw him strike up a conversation with another person I knew was there for IV heroin, then about two weeks later both of them vanished from the program. Another woman was in there because she got blackout drunk, got behind the wheel of her car and plowed into a parked cop car, putting the cop (who was sitting in the driver's seat at the time) into intensive care at the hospital. So those were the kinds of substance abusers I was grouped in with, after getting busted for possession of hashish 8)

The whole experience left me embittered and ultimately probably did more harm than good, when it came to keeping me away from drugs...that's why I've always been opposed to that kind of thing

The man who teached the outpatient program was actually a really good guy, though. He was a former cocaine dealer/cocaine addict who had spent a lot of time in prison in both Detroit and Texas (where I lived at that time), had caught lots of charges in his using days, been shot at etc. He was just a really compassionate individual who treated everyone with respect & spoke with a voice of real authenticity when it came to issues surrounding drugs and addiction. The one thing he said that's always stuck with me is that you have got to be want to be sober for YOU, not for anyone else (i.e. your girlfriend/boyfriend/wife/husband, your family, the criminal justice system, etc)...until the desire to abstain from problematic substance usage originates from a genuine individual desire, you're more likely to fail in your efforts. Still believe that to this day. It's a long-term goal of mine to write a letter to that guy and thank him for some of his insights actually, I still remember his name...

Thank you for sharing part of your story! I can definitely relate to the resentment at being forced into treatment for something as trivial as THC.

So what is the proper etiquette in this thread? Is it frowned upon if you post here and are still taking prescribed addition type meds like bupe?
 
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Thank you for sharing part of your story! I can definitely relate to the resentment at being forced into treatment for something as trivial as THC.

So what is the proper etiquette in this thread? Is it frowned upon if you post here and are still taking prescribed addition type meds like bupe?

We challenge all comers here!

Yeah I can agree with the idea that being forced into rehab or AA/NA does not work, and in addition to not working for the addict in question, it can actually detract from the recovery of the people that actually desire to be there.
 
I had to go to a class years ago for a duo and it was so funny the teacher would ask, who in here is an addict or alcoholic and no one would raise their hand. Serious denial. I think letting people come in from jail to do their mandatory rehab is a huge problem. I was in about 4 years ago and out of 20 guys in there 17 of them were from jail. They didn't give a fuck man they would just screw around and break the rules. Meanwhile we who pain good money to go in there and get sober were distracted and pissed. I ended up leaving early and told the director exacty that. They should have separate facilities for mandatory court cases. My first time there there was only sbout 7or 8 dudes there and a lot of us took it seriously. I made some good buddies in there and learned a lot. This last time I was there an hr and could tell things were totally different. And this courts sending people to AA/NA is a horrible idea. I've never seen one person in 10 yrs in AS stick around from court. But the legal system is s joke and so is addiction treatment in this country. In other country's they have holistic rehabs and make you work then give you mandatory exercise regimens. Dounds brutal but there very successful. The only exercise I got in rehab was packing my cigs. Anyway, seperate the serious from the not serious and no more court ordered at meetings. Thanks
 
How's everyone's summers going?


Fantastic!! I got my methadone dose perfect (not to sleepy and zero pain), my flowers in the garden are blooming and my pot plants are looking great,
I wouldn't wish the mental anguish of detox on anyone.
 
Gosh, I finally got my act together a couple months and transplanted my poor, poor little plumeria out of the little pot I had it in. I have been carrying it around since I got a few of them from a neighbor when I was wandering around tripping balls living in San Diego, so I have a strong affinity for the plant. Gave one to my dad, though I have a feeling he take's about as good of care of his as I do mine.

When I get back in today I'll snap a picture of her. She isn't too glorious right now as she isn't flowering, but still what an amazing plant! Makes me feel a bit like Hawaii :)
 
Doing ok CH, how are you doing? Good to see you out here man. I vote for mor CH. And I wanna see toothpaste dogs amazing plant!! Out
 
Doing ok CH, how are you doing? Good to see you out here man. I vote for mor CH. And I wanna see toothpaste dogs amazing plant!! Out

I'm doing great. I finished up with some important stuff and it felt good to do well with it. I was very stressed out about a week or two ago, but am feeling much better.

Working on my novel, and trying to get my life going still. :)
 
Fantastic!! I got my methadone dose perfect (not to sleepy and zero pain), my flowers in the garden are blooming and my pot plants are looking great,
I wouldn't wish the mental anguish of detox on anyone.

Whats up SJ, glad to see you are doing well. I am two weeks off my pain meds but still prescribed the Klonopin, but hey one thing at a time right.
 
We challenge all comers here!

Yeah I can agree with the idea that being forced into rehab or AA/NA does not work, and in addition to not working for the addict in question, it can actually detract from the recovery of the people that actually desire to be there.

so true! I always thought they should have two different types of meetings. Voluntary and involuntary, that way neither party is being distracted by the other.

- VE
 
I'm so thankful that I have over 21 months off bupe/suboxone/needles. I'm so proud of myself.
 
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