• Life Advice & Visual Arts Welcome Guest
    Posting Rules Bluelight Rules
    🌌 Share Your Dreams! 🌌
    📸 15 Years of Photo Contests 📸
  • LAVA Moderator: Mysterier

A friend, who is friendly towards your enemies.

Barrenian

Barrenian

Bluelighter
Joined
Aug 1, 2015
Messages
35
I had to end a relationship some time ago with someone who associates with people who do not like me, with people who are perfidious and go out of there way to do bad things to me. The guy I ended the relationship with said it isn't my right to tell him who he can be friends with, and I agree, but I said I don't feel comfortable with him because he is such good friends with people that hate me. I can't help but feel uncomfortable and suspicious towards someone who says they are my friend, yet goes and does things with these folks. It was honestly just too much stress for me because my instincts told me that the whole situation just wasn't right. I feel happy that I broke off such a relationship.

Would any of you feel uncomfortable if someone you were friends with kept company with people that loathe you, verbally harass you, and even have physically assaulted you? He can be friends with whoever he wishes, just not me.
 
Last edited:
I've been in similar positions on a few occasions.

Usually I make no secret of my opinion of the person I am at adds with, but don't bother with the high drama of "I can't be your friend if you are friends with them".

Typically, if these enemies really are such assholes, they will show themselves up for what they are in time, and then your friend can see for themselves why it is that you hold them in contempt.
 
Yeah, it would piss me off if someone was hassling me and my loved ones carried on as if. It is disloyal, and tantamount to taking sides.
 
Barrenian said:
Would any of you feel uncomfortable if someone you were friends with kept company with people that loathe you, verbally harass you, and even have physically assaulted you? He can be friends with whoever he wishes, just not me.
Click to expand...

Definitely. That makes them a chump by association. I knew somebody who was friends with a known snitch, so of course I could not be friends with somebody like that. The right thing to do is cut off all contact - the friend of the snitch should have shunned the snitch. The fact that they didn't proves they have very low moral standards.
 
I completely agree with you Barrenian, pulling the "you're controlling who I'm friends with" bs is bs. You shouldn't be expected to have to allow that behavior in your life.

I had a somewhat similar situation happen to me over the course of several years. My current bf, his best friend/ex-gf hated me as she's hated all his previous girlfriends. She treated me really horribly but she and my bf knew eachother since they were like 13 or something. Both him and I wanted to find a way to get her to just stop being a bitch and accept my existence. After a long time, she finally went too far when she tried to hurt me by spamming my family telling them I'd been raped. Now she's gone from our lives, she threw it all away because she couldn't grow up and accept that he wants to spend more time with me than her and that she wasn't the most important person in his life anymore.
 
Last edited:
you have one in me One thousand words....hahaha jk.

Honestly you cannot control who someone else hangs out with. You can only control who you hang out with. I would just slowly distance myself from that person. If they really want to be by your side, or keep a friendship going with you, they will choose.
 
Hey im very threatening! To your groceries. Can I come on holiday to your house and crash on your couch. Maybe have family dinner with you a few times? We could be besties!
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top