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Husband wants to watch me have sex with another guy

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Monique_B

Greenlighter
Joined
Aug 20, 2015
Messages
8
Hi Everybody,

I am new to this forum and wanted to get some of your views on a dilemma I am in right now. My husband and I have a good marriage and have now been married just over 10 years. A couple of years ago he asked me about my ex-boyfriends and my past sex life. I didn't want to tell him about it with much detail, but the more we discussed it, the more turned on he got. He wanted to know all the naughty things I did and some of my best sex memories with past boyfriends. Since then, he has admitted to me that his biggest fantasy would be to watch me with with a man that I am very attracted to and that is better endowed than him. I love my husband, but I get jealous if my husband even notices an attractive woman! I will admit his fantasy is very hot for me as the thought of being wanted by another man (while my husband watches) is incredibly sexy. It's even got to the point where it is probably my biggest fantasy as well.

Would really appreciate how others have dealt with this sort of fantasy? I have no idea why my husband would be so turned on by the idea of sharing me when it is completely one way!
 
things like this are rarely fully symmetrical. why's it so hard to understand why this is a big turn on for him when it's also your "biggest fantasy as well"?

alasdair
 
Probably because he has no interest in other women except for me. He tells me that he gets all of his sexual pleasure by my pleasure. That's why I think the fantasy is so hot and I have a hard time getting it out of my head.
 
Is it really so hard to believe that some people don't get jealous (stupid) when it comes to their partners?

He is likely banking on the fact that even after you've gotten your vagina destroyed by another man, you'd still love and want your husband.
He sounds like a very secure person.

What's stopping you from attempt this? Are you afraid of something? You said that he is completely fine remaining monogamous to you, right?
 
Cuckolding is one of my biggest fetishes and turn ons. Like your husband, it doesn't mean I want other women. It means I want to see you get another man off. You should understand, this is far from a selfless act even if you're the only one that gets to fuck someone else. I'm sure he cares about your feelings about the matter as well, but this is for HIS pleasure. If you can get off with another man, then even better!

It sounds like the two of you are compatible to live out this fantasy. Just make sure there is little to no connection with the other man. The wrong emotion on your part can derail this situation real quick.
 
Monique_B said:
Probably because he has no interest in other women except for me. He tells me that he gets all of his sexual pleasure by my pleasure. That's why I think the fantasy is so hot and I have a hard time getting it out of my head.
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so he's into it. and you're into it.

why not do it?

alasdair
 
I always had this fantasy with my X as well. I would do it if you guys are secure enough in the relationship. Like stated above, any emotion could potentially fuck everything up. Proceed with caution!
 
If you are secure in your relationship, give it a try. A word of warning thou:
COMMUNICATE! Make sure you both are aware of each others goals, desires and limits. Also, make sure you have a code or node, whatever to stop. There are websites with many such people who share stories, photos and videos. I'd recommend you both watch some of the amateur videos. One of the better (free) sites is sex.com I only mention that one because there are so many sites that have far worse pop-ups and viruses.

Anyway, you both need to choose who, is it a friend, or just someone you know or a stranger? They all have their pros and cons. You both agree on the guy, in the end - you have the final say so and can always say "no".

As people get older - swinging and open relationships are more common. But also with some people in their 20s. The rate in which people CHEAT is over 60% for both men and women. Look at Ashly Madison's 38 million Christian cheaters! So also keep an open mind that your husband can play with other women.

I've read horror stories of the 3rd guy being in the awkward situation when the husband has melt-down. Like it was her idea, she choose the guy and her husband wasn't ready for it, or who knows. Shit blows up and its time to leave.

So take it slow, after the first encounters - make sure you both go over what happened and how you feel about it. That your love for each other is not in question. You must have trust.

First time another woman kissed me, my wife was upset for valid reasons. We both have agreements. We've both also ended things when issues have come up.

Watching your loved one get fucked and cumming is hot. You get to see it from afar that you don't get to see when you're both having intercourse with each other. You may also learn new tricks and styles, I sure have. Watching her reaction to how someone else eats her or other things showed me ways into incorporate it into my own style.

So do I like watching my wife have orgasms will riding another cock? Yes. After such swinger parties, we both tend to fuck like rabbits. Look at your own example in your post.
" I will admit his fantasy is very hot for me as the thought of being wanted by another man (while my husband watches) is incredibly sexy. "
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YES IT IS. Oh, and my wife now likes watching me fuck other women or gets upset if she got laid and I didn't, how sweet. She likes having a woman go down on her, while I'm banging that woman from behind.

There are all kinds of things you can do, but its up to you both to find out what works out for both of your mutually. Such as, you have sex with another guy (OG), and he's not there to watch. Or your husband just watches. Or its a threesome and you are spit-roasted, or turns or DP. Or maybe its two guys while your husband watches? Or after other men do their thing, your husband licks you clean, etc. Hell, there are posts for full out gangbangs with 5~20 guys. Now, don't freak out. Very few do gangbangs or work their way up to that, I haven't even thou I could in the past and see posts "guys needed to fuck my wife on Aug 22nd from 6~12 at the XYZ hotel" here and there.

I remember the first time we did a threesome with another guy, she gave me a look but didn't want to say anything. So I said "oh shit, its late. We gotta go." I did tell the guy that it had nothing to do with him, which was true. He did nothing wrong. We were not ready to do something like that. You've been together for 10 years so your husband will know if you have issues without saying a word, unless you have a ball gag of course.

What I see from many couples who do this, they tend to play with someone they know. Many such people have such relationships that last decades.

Good Luck!
 
ChipTrippyFox said:
He is likely banking on the fact that even after you've gotten your vagina destroyed by another man, you'd still love and want your husband.
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LMFAO! Thankfully I wasnt drinking when I read this, otherwise my laptop would be flooded now!

on a serious note, I can say that it's not one way. at all. It's like when I go down on a woman w/o any reciprocity; some would say that's one way. hell no! *I* am the reason she got off so good she almost crushed my head with her thighs. By allowing you this, he gets to see you come hard. It's not only empowering, but voyeuristic as well, which is another turn on.

If you do fulfill this, make sure the man you get is comfortable being watched by another man. Maybe your husband wants to learn what REALLY turns you on.
 
Maybe you should keep this just a fantasy between the two of you?

I don't think it's going to go that well in reality as you said how you do get jealous, and he might get jealous as well.

If you do decide to do this talk a lot about it, and set up some rules/boundaries, etc. Good luck.
 
ChipTrippyFox said:
What's stopping you from attempt this? Are you afraid of something? You said that he is completely fine remaining monogamous to you, right?
Click to expand...

My husband likes the idea of the other man having a better body than him, and frankly, having a larger cock. I am afraid of hurting my relationship with my husband. What if the sex is so much better that I constantly want and fantasize about the other guy?
 
Though sex is definitely a significant part of a relationship, I doubt your marriage stands on is sexual aspect... Love and sex are separate things, though there is surely a profound beauty in there communion. Cuckolding is hardly an uncommon practice, it's just not much spoken of publicly. If you and your husband are comfortable, go for it. If the sex complicates things in any way, take a step back together, and realize that you both understood the endeavor could invite complication, then move from there together.

Everything will be alright. And its OK to have sex for fun! =D
 
So one thing I am learning here is that many men fantasize about watching their wife with another man. I am so shocked by this!! Can any women relate to how I feel? Am I a bad wife for wanting this? Any other women in my boat?
 
I'm a gay man, so I can't relate in a way that would give you any consolation, but I would encourage you to do some reading on the topic. It's not a gender specific proclivity at all, but most sexual "tendencies" like this are more reported by men... but is that really surprising? lol. You aren't in a boat of your own, my friend. Don't judge yourself so harshly.
 
@Monique B: Its healthy and good that you both are doing research into this. But I doubt it'll hurt your relationship. Conscious-observed made a statement I agree with 100%. You are both consenting to try something new. Not cheating, not going behind someone's back, not using Ashley Madison. And *THAT* is a turn on. Its a sign of trust and love which makes it **SO HOT**. Look at the high rate of cheating among serious relationships - upwards towards 70% for both sexes.

You've both been together for 10+ years. A different penis / pussy is nice, its excitement. He wants to watch. He's not going anywhere. So what if some other guy totally fucks your brains out? Think that would really change how you feel about your husband? Here is the thing: when a guy is fucking some other guy's woman - especially in the same room, HE is fucking to impress. Its about sex, only sex.

You and your husband will totally fuck each others brains out afterwards.

A side note, as stated above that you don't have experience doing such a thing that the first time will be the most awkward. You both are likely to feel that you're cheating on each other, or not respecting the other properly. So make sure you both talk about your feelings, thoughts and turn-ons after doing it the first few times. Expand from there.

Also, make sure you suck and or fuck your husband in front of the other guy. If your husband is jerking off while you're being banged, remind him to save it for you or you'll have to wait for him to reload :)

PS: There are obvious some women here who have experience with sex with two guys at once, there is a recent DP thread that had responses from about 4~6 women. Also, both of you should look at threesome videos, hopefully the better quality ones, not just the crappy hardcore ones.
 
Monique_B said:
So one thing I am learning here is that many men fantasize about watching their wife with another man. I am so shocked by this!! Can any women relate to how I feel? Am I a bad wife for wanting this? Any other women in my boat?
Click to expand...

I'll say you're a bad wife. Just the mere thought of my lady being pounded by another man upsets me. I have no idea how people would want this, then be able to look at their partner the same. Everyones different I guess.
 
Wow, someone who doesn't know you, calls you "bad". I can think of other people who judge. Duggars - you know the 19 and counting ex-TV show religious nut family. Who are about "family values", no sex before marriage, no divorce, God hates gays and gay marriage, etc, etc. Meanwhile one of their older sons (Josh?) raped some of the girls and is busted from having two Ashley Madison accounts as he cheats on his wife. Look up Ted haggard, the ex-leader of the Evangelicals in the USA - meet GWBush several times to preach about "family values", father of 5, self righteous who got caught with a long-term man-lover and doing various drugs.

So talk to other women who do this.

Lets say its something that doesn't go well, someone gets jealous or you get turned off by the other guy. You back out, you say no... or whatever. You two talk about it as well as realize its something you don't really want to do, that it really is just a fantasy.
 
He is absolutely right Monique. I do not care to think about other women. The only thing I think about is hearing her get satisfied by a young stud! I don't think this can be put in words "helplessly" watching your wife get ravished by a younger man. All the while why she is seductively looking at me....what else could get me off more!! He means it Monique. No viagra needed with men like us. I hope you have fun!
 
alasdairm said:
things like this are rarely fully symmetrical. why's it so hard to understand why this is a big turn on for him when it's also your "biggest fantasy as well"?

alasdair
Click to expand...

Exactly, if you guys are happy in your marriage and the idea of the act turns you both on then I think you should def talk more about it happening as a real possibility and get it all out on the table to make sure you are both truly comfortable with doing it. And although this isnt something that would float my boat I do know that its a fairly common thing, just look at swingers and swingers clubs. There is a huge swinger subculture in america and in Europe I am sure, all couples who like to share their partners in different ways.
 
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