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Mental Health Narcissism Support Thread

Does anyone know how likely it is for one child to be targeted by narcissistic parents but not their sibling? I'm trying to work out if it really is me who is the narcissist (I know I have problems but if it's all in my head that they treat me differently then perhaps I'm the one to blame).

I would say that it's probably not uncommon at all for narcissistic parents of multiple sibling households to pick favorites and take out their narcissistic abuse on the other child/children.
 
actually your first post was excellent. The rest, not so much. You say it takes two to tango, well someone inevitably has to be the bigger person. That bigger person could have been you. A lot of life is accepting that others opinions may vary greatly from your own. I for one didn't watch the videos because I don't necessarily find this guy very helpful. I do however appreciate posts that describe people seeing a narcissistic pattern in their own life.

Everyone heals differently.

Very well put and very true, MBC. Apologies, if what escalated into a flame upset you; as this was not my intention <3 (again, I wasn't the instigator and I would and do try to practice embracing others perspective and behaviour, on condition that it is done in a respectful manner ;))
 
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I'm sure you'll see I've cleaned up the thread a bit. manboychef is right, it's only natural that people will sometimes have vastly differing opinions from time to time. That however is no reason to resort to bickering. Let's keep this a civil & informative discussion please!

As you were.
 
We can't tolerate personal attacks. This is a place (for some, the single one place) that people can talk about their problems without be judged. If you can't abide by that, then this isn't the place for you. Thanks.

If you really believe in your point and others don't, I'd suggest linking specific scientific literature that backs it up. I'd be personally interested to read it too.

Also, the capacity to be open to another's point of view non-judgmentally is in my opinion a form of intelligence. We constantly learn throughout our life experiences. But if we close ourselves off to alternate points of view, we become both immoral and less intelligent. Simply labeling people as "fraud", and especially fellow-posters with pejorative terms such as "fools", is abiding by the same cruelty that many of us experience in our life-time, that of being assigned a number (diagnostic code) and treated as if we aren't human by various mental health providers.

If you're angry, please go ahead and say it. That goes for any emotion. We're all human beings. There's no shame in directly revealing what's bothering you. If you can't do that or don't want to do that, that's fine. But we're not going to let people sabotage the healing process for others. Posters now feel less safe in confiding in us because of this nonsense, especially given the bluelight crew status.

One can find all kinds of opinions on the internet, essentially any point of view. I like to think of bluelight as pioneering a more objective place, free from personal attacks and the like. Please help us keep it that way.
 
Manchef, I found this video of someone who I've watched a few times. Thought it might help you a bit with your situation, or at least to understand it. He has some longer videos on BPD but I haven't watched them.

 
Also, the capacity to be open to another's point of view non-judgmentally is in my opinion a form of intelligence. We constantly learn throughout our life experiences. But if we close ourselves off to alternate points of view, we become both immoral and less intelligent. Simply labeling people as "fraud", and especially fellow-posters with pejorative terms such as "fools", is abiding by the same cruelty that many of us experience in our life-time, that of being assigned a number (diagnostic code) and treated as if we aren't human by various mental health providers.

Well said HCM, I can only agree with you; although this is the narcissism thread - not considering the other person's point of view is par for the course.
 
Anyone else ever feel like they are forever "ruined" by narcissists? I don't trust anyone and always suspect an ulterior motive of some sort..
 
''Narcissistic Personality Disorder is a very complex psychological illness.
People suffering from this disorder, their family and friends and victims
have all will benefit if we are able to move beyond this effort to redefine
Narcissism to fit the needs of one person. All human beings who have been
affected by this disorder need to work side-by-side with licensed mental
health professionals to get beyond the scare tactics of psychological
terrorism and move to a place of healing. In short we need to reclaim NPD
and redefine the distinctions of Narcissistic Injury, Narcissism,
Narcissistic Personality Disorder, Antisocial Personality Disorder, and
Psychopaths. It has been suggested to me that there are as many variations
of NPD as there are people suffering from this disorder. A commonly accepted
reality of human nature is that we all react differently to different
stimuli and that no two traumas are exactly the same. Together we can get
beyond the rather bizarre attitude that a Narcissist-is a Narcissist-is a
Narcissist.''



This is a helpful link.

http://www.friedgreentomatoes.org/articles/healing_narcissism.php
 
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Anyone else ever feel like they are forever "ruined" by narcissists? I don't trust anyone and always suspect an ulterior motive of some sort..

I don't feel like I'm forever ruined, but just lost. Like I was never encouraged to develop my own sense of self and identity, it was always what the narcissist (in this case a family member) thought I should do or what was best for me. But then again, my narcissistic abuse was on the less severe end and wasn't physical.

BTW, a typical narcissistic parent sees their children more as extensions of themselves rather than their own person.
 
I would say that it's probably not uncommon at all for narcissistic parents of multiple sibling households to pick favorites and take out their narcissistic abuse on the other child/children.

It isn't. My dad treated me like garbage and physically abused me, yet he never laid a hand on my brothers.
 
Had a narcissistic drinking buddy for a while. He would pressure me into buying him booze literally every single night. It wasn't that he was charming or compelling, I just felt bad for the guy and I didn't want him to get "weird" on me (trust me, this happened way too often). The whole time I was aware of what he was and that he was trying to use me, but I didn't really care because I had nothing better to do. Somehow this guy managed to sleep with a lot of "beautiful" women, which would have made me jealous if it weren't for the fact that none of them were very attractive. He'd often show me a photo of a girl that was "coming over" and say, "Isn't she hot?!" I'd just kind of nod my head thinking, "What are you blind?"
 
Blaming the person to excessive levels can and often does perpetuate this cycle of abuse and can lead the victim to become highly narcissistic themselves - so, best practice would be to try to separate the behaviour from the person and deal with how that impacted us, personally.

Agree with all of this. Also agree with your assessment of Sam. I think he's doing more harm than good.
 
How exactly is making people aware of narcissism doing more harm than good? I thought we could get off the subject of him but apparently my thread has been cursed to be mostly arguments about him. Thanks, really.

It should also be noted that 4 out of the 7 videos that I've posted ARE NOT Sam Vaknin's.
 
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Forget Sam whatsisface..

Seems like I somehow attract narcissistic people. Might as well have an advertisement tattooed on my forehead "selfish assholes welcome" either that or people who are complete doormats.. Where are all the mentally healthy men? That's all I want.. Preferably Amerindian also but that's a minor detail ;)

Tired of emotionally unavailable men..
 
Forget Sam whatsisface..

Seems like I somehow attract narcissistic people. Might as well have an advertisement tattooed on my forehead "selfish assholes welcome" either that or people who are complete doormats.. Where are all the mentally healthy men? That's all I want.. Preferably Amerindian also but that's a minor detail ;)

Tired of emotionally unavailable men..

If you keep digging in the septic tank your always going to find shit. Maybe change up where you go. I always end up finding needy women and I am too nice to say "back the fuck up! figure some shit out on your own, I'm your boyfriend not your dad or your counselor!"

I end up with women that either try to pull the whole "we have to spend all our time together!" or "why don't you want to come over tonight...you never want to come over?" First off I am me and you are you....i do my own thing sometimes. And secondly I came over monday and watched boring tv shows with you....I really need some manboychef time to do what manboychef does...and yes this is a solitary thing so don't try to invite yourself.
 
That's the funny thing. I don't go to bars or clubs, recovering alcoholic, hate crowds, not my scene. Either I meet them through friends or on the Internet.. Don't do dating sites either. I'm not the clingy girlfriend type but if you talk to me once a week or less then fuck that shit.

Usually it's one extreme or the other: clingy/insecure/needy or doesn't give a damn if I live or die, lol. Not sure what I'm doing wrong. Maybe single men in my age group are just buttholes.. Idk. Then again the older ones are no better.

I can't help but feel like this is somehow related to my upbringing. Yeah I acknowledge I'm not exactly a perfect catch myself cause I'm an IV drug user with a criminal record but I'm not dishonest or mean to people. The men in my life are well taken care of emotionally and otherwise.. But I don't let them walk all over me. Seems like there are few who won't judge you for your past..
 
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People like myself are out there. Just have to look. If someone is doing you wrong...then just say "this bird has flown!"

Its easy to meet people. Meeting the right ones are hard. I've been on scores of first dates, but I have slowed down on that in the last few years. Trying to work on making me like me before I try for someone else liking me.

I used to be the consummate womanizer. Basically, if you don't value yourself you are going to end up with me like how I was in my early twenties. I cared so little if I hurt others as long as I was having a good time. Wear your confidence like a badge of courage and naturally good dudes will see that and want to spend time with you. You know what finally took me down? A woman said no to me. I stayed with her for three years. Crazy RIGHT?
 
They just wanna fuck me and run. I'm happy by myself anyway, who needs em right?
 
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