can someone help with my situation??

[frankmilton]

I googled this, but did not quite find the answer i was seeking so i am posting this question myself.
here's a brief history of my drug use.
i have been a pothead for a few years now and in the past few months, things just got out of control.
i suppose my tolerance was simply too high and i was looking to get more "f*cked up."
so i started mixing weed with psychedelics.
fyi, i was using psychedelics before "the past few months," but i always kept them moderate and used them to "learn."
and i mostly used lsd for that.
however, in the past few months, i've gotten more into mushrooms.
as you can imagine, anxiety whilst on mushrooms was the biggest issue since both my physical and mental health were pretty much sh*t.
so i started mixing xanax on top of weed and psychedelics.
im not gonna lie. i had a few good trips, but more bad ones.
my life was so out of control that there was this time when i ate an ounce of very potent penis envy mushrooms in 3 days.
and i lemon teked them all <-------- why did i do that?(shaking my head)
i cant really elaborate every single dosage i dropped in the past few months because my memory during that period of time is really hazy and blank-y.
however, back to the present.
i had MANY anxiety attacks during those mushroom trips to the point where my skin felt like burning.
i thought this was some kind of allergic reaction to mushrooms, but it turned out to be anxiety attacks.
apparently, adrenaline can cause the burning sensation on the skin.
anyways, back to the present.
i am now clean of weed for 11 days and mushrooms for 12 days.
however, i am still dealing with minor anxiety attacks and the headache i get from the anxiety.
i have been running about 8-9 km daily on the track, not treadmill, and it really helps, but the effects of running wear off after a few hours, then comes the anxiety.
i somewhat believe that i am still traumatized from those bad trips i had, where i had to deal with the anxiety attack, and that is what causing my current discomfort.
i also believe that LSD is the key to solving this problem.
i have ocd so i tend to fixate on ideas.
i believe that LSD can somewhat "reset" my mentality and calm me down because i never had a bad trip on lsd except for my very first one, during which i was overwhelmed, and every time i did LSD, i somewhat became a new, better person.
i am struggling to decide whether i should take 1, 1 and a half, or 2 tabs though.
a single tab contain 125 ug of very clean LSD, and i can vouch for that because i have done it more than just a few times.
this anxiety is giving me headache, head pressure, ear pressure, and eye pressure, and is gradually driving me insane.
i havent slept properly for about two weeks now as well.
i suppose i could go see a doctor and get myself some benzo, but i just cant deal with any more substance dependence in my life right now.
could someone please comment on my situation?

 

[SKL]

The last thing you need is more psychedelics. Stacking them on top of marijuana (anxiogenic to many) and Xanax (disinhibiting), and taking excessive doses is not helpful.

LSD, more likely than not, will just dig your hole deeper, either into the same anxious state or some sort of manic state where you think you're issues are solved, but they're going deeper.

See a psychiatrist. Short term treatment of anxiety with benzodiazepines is not a terribly bad idea. OCD can benefit from SSRIs. Therapy, too, is a viable option.

But more serious drugs is just asking for trouble.

From someone who's been there.

 

[frankmilton]

i really really would like to see a psychiatrist, but it is not covered by the health care i have and i just dont think i can afford it, but thanks for the advice.
i suppose it could make my symptoms worse... ugh

 

[psy997]

I'm not sure LSD is the answer. I think you need two things: meditation and to go back to, accept, and let go of all the traumatizing emotional baggage you've picked up in the past couple of months. You see LSD as the answer because you associate psychedelics with the process of letting go of and getting over shit in your life. I've done the same thing and still do it to an extent even though I know better. What happens on psychedelics where you go back and relive the shit you've gone through, process it, and get over it is possible without them, it just takes more work as you don't have that state of mind pushing you to do so.

Ask yourself - if I was to trip today, what shit would it throw at me? What would come up from beneath that it wants me to deal with? Whatever comes to mind, focus on it, go as deep into it as you can, do what LSD would make you do yourself.

Psychedelics are great because they push us to deal with emotional baggage and everything that we haven't let go of. But they're just the introduction, the starter, the appetizer. You must move past that and learn to do it sober. It takes effort and it's painful and it's tough but in the end it's worth it. It's getting in touch with yourself, your deepest most core level self.


Basically the key is to focus completely on a certain event or situation that's plaguing you, let it envelop you, let yourself feel all the emotion associated and tied to it, and in feeling it completely and totally you allow yourself the ability to accept it and let go of it and move on. You need to face all the shit you've done the past couple months, it's obvious you aren't proud of it, and accept it.

I'm rooting for you, man. It's the journey we must all take, the path we must walk. We can only falter when we fall out of touch with ourselves.

 

[frankmilton]

thank you @psy997. i actually think meditation is the key as well.
its just that i find that LSD makes meditating so much easier, but thats pretty much "depending" on a substance again i guess..

 

[bickoma]

This reminds me why it's important to not cross my drug addiction over into psychedelics.

Stop taking psychedelics, seek professional advice immediately.

 

[frankmilton]

I took one and a half tab despite what everyone suggested, and I can only say that they were right. It didn't solve my problem at all and it could have made it worse If I didnt have some Xanax on me. I was THIS close to killing myself. I'm gonna try to see a psychiatrist and stay off ALL drugs for a LONG time, except for the ones he/she perscribes me.

 

[psy997]

I'm not a medical professional but I would stay away from most chemicals a psychiatrist would prescribe you in your situation. SSRIs, SNRIs, anti psychotics, etc. will kill your spirit, the only ones I'd be comfortable taking would be the gaba related anti-depressants, but even then I don't recommend it as taking anything that messes with your GABA receptors for long periods of time is playing with fire IMO.

 

[MetanoiaMan]

I googled this, but did not quite find the answer i was seeking so i am posting this question myself.
here's a brief history of my drug use.
i have been a pothead for a few years now and in the past few months, things just got out of control.
i suppose my tolerance was simply too high and i was looking to get more "f*cked up."
so i started mixing weed with psychedelics.
fyi, i was using psychedelics before "the past few months," but i always kept them moderate and used them to "learn."
and i mostly used lsd for that.
however, in the past few months, i've gotten more into mushrooms.
as you can imagine, anxiety whilst on mushrooms was the biggest issue since both my physical and mental health were pretty much sh*t.
so i started mixing xanax on top of weed and psychedelics.
im not gonna lie. i had a few good trips, but more bad ones.
my life was so out of control that there was this time when i ate an ounce of very potent penis envy mushrooms in 3 days.
and i lemon teked them all <-------- why did i do that?(shaking my head)
i cant really elaborate every single dosage i dropped in the past few months because my memory during that period of time is really hazy and blank-y.
however, back to the present.
i had MANY anxiety attacks during those mushroom trips to the point where my skin felt like burning.
i thought this was some kind of allergic reaction to mushrooms, but it turned out to be anxiety attacks.
apparently, adrenaline can cause the burning sensation on the skin.
anyways, back to the present.
i am now clean of weed for 11 days and mushrooms for 12 days.
however, i am still dealing with minor anxiety attacks and the headache i get from the anxiety.
i have been running about 8-9 km daily on the track, not treadmill, and it really helps, but the effects of running wear off after a few hours, then comes the anxiety.
i somewhat believe that i am still traumatized from those bad trips i had, where i had to deal with the anxiety attack, and that is what causing my current discomfort.
i also believe that LSD is the key to solving this problem.
i have ocd so i tend to fixate on ideas.
i believe that LSD can somewhat "reset" my mentality and calm me down because i never had a bad trip on lsd except for my very first one, during which i was overwhelmed, and every time i did LSD, i somewhat became a new, better person.
i am struggling to decide whether i should take 1, 1 and a half, or 2 tabs though.
a single tab contain 125 ug of very clean LSD, and i can vouch for that because i have done it more than just a few times.
this anxiety is giving me headache, head pressure, ear pressure, and eye pressure, and is gradually driving me insane.
i havent slept properly for about two weeks now as well.
i suppose i could go see a doctor and get myself some benzo, but i just cant deal with any more substance dependence in my life right now.
could someone please comment on my situation?

You need to stop doing psychedelics. You need to start meditating and doing yoga. That will take care of your anxiety and your ocd. There is no help for you in psychedelics.

 

[Lnx.Apex]

If you were in the mindset of killing yourself while you were high then you have a lot on your mind that you are probably blocking out. Trust me on this as I'm a certified nut, I was 17 when I tried to kill myself as I was in much of the same situation. I discovered MDMA and lost all self control. I would take so much to try to escape my own thoughts only to be left in the wake of the trip only feeling even more like shit. Benzos, especially Xanax, are extremely addicting. But the problem here isn't what drugs you are doing, but what you are trying to escape from. I would also suggest to find someone in real life that you trust enough to tell them, as opening up to another human being will take the weight off your shoulders. I don't know you, nor do I know your life, but you have reached out to us whether you realize it or not. Stop doing everything, give your body a chance to recover. Eat healthily, you are what you eat. I know it probably feels like you are stuck in a hole, but there is a way to change how you are feeling if you are truly serious about wanting help. Nothing any of us could say will help unless you are willing, or needing to change yourself first. I'm not advocating for you to go take a ton of psych meds, as those are what they will out you on if you get sent to the loony bin. It took me about 7 years and four psychiatrists to get the right medication that helps me. Every SSRI I tried caused more side effects than anything it could offer, but that is my brain chemistry. I am however advocating you to challenge yourself to come to terms with whatever is lurking in your subconscious. Acid might FEEL like the solution at first, but as you've said before you tried it anyways and it only hurt you. Doing the same thing over and over again expecting different results is the definition of insanity. Change your behavior, change your mindset. Change your mindset, change your life.

 

[broManDudeGuy]

If it were me i would stop all substances and see where i land.
And respect LSD.. from personal experience

 

[swilow]

See a psychiatrist. Short term treatment of anxiety with benzodiazepines is not a terribly bad idea. OCD can benefit from SSRIs. Therapy, too, is a viable option.

But more serious drugs is just asking for trouble.

In my experience, SSRI's and benzo's definitely qualify as serious drugs, especially benzo's. Short term as you say is okay (short term being 1-2 days in a row and low doses). I guess I am scared of benzo's as they utterly fucked me (though I certainly helped! ).

But I definitely think therapy, of sorts, can help. CBT was really useful for me, and I only had 2 sessions. Just enough to begin questioning my responses to the environment and occurrences within it. And I would second the idea of meditation; this helps to create a calmer and clearer baseline state.