Trying2SoberUp
Greenlighter
- Joined
- Jul 26, 2015
- Messages
- 17
As the title states, this is just one of many reports I've made in relation to my bad calls while being a drug user. I am now 100% clean, but now and then I read back on this stuff and it honestly scares me how close I was riding with death. This is not edited at all so expect typos. I did my best to explain under the influence.
Dont try this at home
(3g Penis Envy Shrooms and 1.5mg 25c-nbome injested initially)
-
Fluiditidy in its natural sense Everything is breathing, even the monitor I am intriqued by my peripherals.It would seem i have directly under where I write - ver VISUAL and undeniably, the entire screen is pulsating Not as an entity, but with everything else around it as a whole.
-
Incredible self changing eye candy 'on the surface of everything' all the while melting and distorting everything it can. If i had less of a sane mind, I may be going crazy. Let me state this is a ++ on shulgins scale. I am very aware of what is going on but visually everything is excited
-
People are literally floating above me as i lay in this room with lights off. Very reminescent of my first LSD trip but lacking the feeling of wonder.. If it were my first time, maybe otherwise... this is how real pyschedelic amphetamines are. Luckily there is nothing more than watchiing them I can do. At this level i can not interact with them. This is ++, borderline +++ I am almost intriqued about 5-meo-malt using this as a base. I feel visually i am on a few good hits of LSD, but mentally i am very coherent.
-
I am at a full +++ and there is no denying it. I am enveloped with eye candy, as I like to call it. FUnny enough, the computer monitor is the worst when it comes to hurting my eyes. Texts are constantly shrinking/expanding, full lines of text will have the top half disappear. In behind is a world far more beautiful than our own. It is compelling and most visible on solid coloured surfaces or with the eyes closed. As beautiful and complex as it is - it is lacking any spiritual feelings.
-
The ceilieng is turning into a big 'pluft' and has now fallen so close to me whatever that means. I feel nauseated. Everything is vibrating incredibly. Bodyload is nil - id imagine no change or drastic to my bloodpressure. This is a reason I purchased 25c over other varients (i,b,d). I fucking hate any bodyload. But in my peripherals, the door is opening and a head peaking in, moving up and down unlike any human could. No details can be made out other than it's almost like an internal joke. It has that feel to it anyway. It isnt scary. just strange. I wish i could share my visions with someone at the moment, seems like a waste. Whats left of my ego at the moment would be destroyed if asking her resulted in anything but open arms I honestly do not feel confident and can not risk the potential damage, as much as I could use the contact. Incredible how psychedelics can and WILL break down ANY person. These feelings I can assure you are a result of the MUSHROOMS
-
A face in the celiengly just morphed through what seemed like a lifetime of existance. So much joy, pain, etc. Like it was created out of water it vanashed so soon after. Very interesting visual (I will only be logging the ones that are relevant - funny enough but because my world is a fucking moving and vibrating thing atm)
-
With that said
If i needed to be grounded.... Well I'm the only solid thing in my existance.
-
I have a strong tendency to force music i'd listen to in a sober mindset and have been. It has been fine - but probably not the most suitable. I will throw on a tried/trusted and true - Akasha by Ozric Tentacles. if that does not work, "little fluffy clouds" by orb. But i will step outside for a smoke for some fresh air first
-
Nothing new to report, the ground was swirling like liquid, but that seems to be the thing to do lol. This is a 25C characteristic. I've taken twice the amount of shrooms and never seen anything like that. Not even close. The shrooms are mindfucking me considerably.
-
The gf is not happy about the situation but it's like I can sense her discontent without any words or otherwise anything said. She is being very considerable given the circumstances but in our brief chats my deep down knowing she is bothered is creating 'disturbances' in my thoughts. This is the fucking SHROOMS side of things.
-
So in a self pity moment - either down the rest of the shrooms (5 additional grams) or take a full on meltdown of 5-MeO-MALT. I'm choosing MALT - due to its duration ( 1hr start to finish) Thus far it is all eye candy, but im in candyland so what the hell. I am pretty much okay to die now knowing I created more bad than good. Attempting an ego death experience and will welcome with open arms.
-
Holy fuck - that was wild. ~30mg loaded, vaped two good hits. I can say with certainty there was more to be vaped, I held off.. Incredible rush and some anxiety present. For a few moments I thought 'Why the hell did I do this'.. ++++ experience. I was out of my mind and everything was fluid. Intense colours, funny enough no fractals with open eyes, but certainly imagery on the fabric everything else is painted on.. For a few moments my entire visual spectrum became 2d. Like looking at a photo, yet the fabric and fluidity continued inbehind and entirely throughout in 3 dimensions. impossible to explain.
-
Unfortunately but luckily as I am coming down, J walked in and was unhappy to see i was taking more 'drugs' I understand entirely.
Tonight was not suppost to happen this way. I have accepted it and that's all I can do right now. Her normally inviting presence is very much knowingly and without words said upset, despite kindness shown both ways. I can feel it in her presence. I have some considerable guilt in knowing that. It makes me consider taking the remainder 5 grams of shrooms of excellent potency - as I already trashed the night and feel the punishment may be deserved (Shrooms almost always result in a bad headtrip for me)
On the other hand perhaps taking some MDMA to ride the rest out..
Or just Flubromazolam and try to sleep...
Advice?
-
antagonistx added 36 Minutes and 30 Seconds later...
The rug is fun to watch. While knowing it has no patterning whatsoever, it has assembled in many little rug diamonds, all of which line up absolutely perfectly. Visually it would seem there are 'paths' created in the rug due to this assembly. Imagine a square Then imagine diamond shapes. The top left of one fits the bottom right of another, the top right fits the bottom left of another. These diamonds of which are made up of carpet, when allowed (focusing out like 'magic eye' type illusions), come to life as if little creatures. All the while the entire floor is pulsating almost like waves but more in colour and less as an actual wave. Like pulsating waves of colour. I am in control of these for the most part, though everything is still moving. I can potentiate a visual by focusing in or out.
-
In this room I have a lamp pointed to the celieng and it is next to a wall. It creates a bold horizontal shadow. This shadow most certainly has grown to become a shelf at times. Important to note that i am not anywhere close to being out of mind. This is eye candy. Nothing more I took 225ug Flubromazolam as I figured I shouldn't push farther - at least MDMA is certainly off.
-
Coming down and starting to feel very depressed. Still considerable visuals but not nearly as alive as they were. Flubromazolam should kick in very soon. Feeling 'self destruct', or rather, knowingly courageous in the stupidest ways possible. Lets bring out the Acetyl Fentanyl and titrate very slowly. No scales. I know this is a horrible idea, especially after taking a benzo. Full on caution - this is a FUCKING BAD IDEA. I am confident it will help me out at the moment. Titrating very slowly with extreme caution.
-
~5mg (eyed, insufflated) T+10mins - not feeling much. But a nice benchmark. Will wait 30 moremins before dosing a bit larger - keeping in mind they will compound effect..
This will continue until im fast asleep. Will touch base in the morning to let you know I'm all alive.
Hope someone got something out of all this.
-
-
-
Two days later I wrote:
I lived.
I tried vaporizing a bit more acetyl fentanyl and damn near nodded out. Sleep soon after. The next day was an entire haze - likely due to the flubromazolam.
I'm not entirely happy with my decisions during this night. Things could have gone bad in quite a few ways. Will exercise more caution in the future.
I figured it was worth posting none the less
Dont try this at home
(3g Penis Envy Shrooms and 1.5mg 25c-nbome injested initially)
-
Fluiditidy in its natural sense Everything is breathing, even the monitor I am intriqued by my peripherals.It would seem i have directly under where I write - ver VISUAL and undeniably, the entire screen is pulsating Not as an entity, but with everything else around it as a whole.
-
Incredible self changing eye candy 'on the surface of everything' all the while melting and distorting everything it can. If i had less of a sane mind, I may be going crazy. Let me state this is a ++ on shulgins scale. I am very aware of what is going on but visually everything is excited
-
People are literally floating above me as i lay in this room with lights off. Very reminescent of my first LSD trip but lacking the feeling of wonder.. If it were my first time, maybe otherwise... this is how real pyschedelic amphetamines are. Luckily there is nothing more than watchiing them I can do. At this level i can not interact with them. This is ++, borderline +++ I am almost intriqued about 5-meo-malt using this as a base. I feel visually i am on a few good hits of LSD, but mentally i am very coherent.
-
I am at a full +++ and there is no denying it. I am enveloped with eye candy, as I like to call it. FUnny enough, the computer monitor is the worst when it comes to hurting my eyes. Texts are constantly shrinking/expanding, full lines of text will have the top half disappear. In behind is a world far more beautiful than our own. It is compelling and most visible on solid coloured surfaces or with the eyes closed. As beautiful and complex as it is - it is lacking any spiritual feelings.
-
The ceilieng is turning into a big 'pluft' and has now fallen so close to me whatever that means. I feel nauseated. Everything is vibrating incredibly. Bodyload is nil - id imagine no change or drastic to my bloodpressure. This is a reason I purchased 25c over other varients (i,b,d). I fucking hate any bodyload. But in my peripherals, the door is opening and a head peaking in, moving up and down unlike any human could. No details can be made out other than it's almost like an internal joke. It has that feel to it anyway. It isnt scary. just strange. I wish i could share my visions with someone at the moment, seems like a waste. Whats left of my ego at the moment would be destroyed if asking her resulted in anything but open arms I honestly do not feel confident and can not risk the potential damage, as much as I could use the contact. Incredible how psychedelics can and WILL break down ANY person. These feelings I can assure you are a result of the MUSHROOMS
-
A face in the celiengly just morphed through what seemed like a lifetime of existance. So much joy, pain, etc. Like it was created out of water it vanashed so soon after. Very interesting visual (I will only be logging the ones that are relevant - funny enough but because my world is a fucking moving and vibrating thing atm)
-
With that said
If i needed to be grounded.... Well I'm the only solid thing in my existance.
-
I have a strong tendency to force music i'd listen to in a sober mindset and have been. It has been fine - but probably not the most suitable. I will throw on a tried/trusted and true - Akasha by Ozric Tentacles. if that does not work, "little fluffy clouds" by orb. But i will step outside for a smoke for some fresh air first
-
Nothing new to report, the ground was swirling like liquid, but that seems to be the thing to do lol. This is a 25C characteristic. I've taken twice the amount of shrooms and never seen anything like that. Not even close. The shrooms are mindfucking me considerably.
-
The gf is not happy about the situation but it's like I can sense her discontent without any words or otherwise anything said. She is being very considerable given the circumstances but in our brief chats my deep down knowing she is bothered is creating 'disturbances' in my thoughts. This is the fucking SHROOMS side of things.
-
So in a self pity moment - either down the rest of the shrooms (5 additional grams) or take a full on meltdown of 5-MeO-MALT. I'm choosing MALT - due to its duration ( 1hr start to finish) Thus far it is all eye candy, but im in candyland so what the hell. I am pretty much okay to die now knowing I created more bad than good. Attempting an ego death experience and will welcome with open arms.
-
Holy fuck - that was wild. ~30mg loaded, vaped two good hits. I can say with certainty there was more to be vaped, I held off.. Incredible rush and some anxiety present. For a few moments I thought 'Why the hell did I do this'.. ++++ experience. I was out of my mind and everything was fluid. Intense colours, funny enough no fractals with open eyes, but certainly imagery on the fabric everything else is painted on.. For a few moments my entire visual spectrum became 2d. Like looking at a photo, yet the fabric and fluidity continued inbehind and entirely throughout in 3 dimensions. impossible to explain.
-
Unfortunately but luckily as I am coming down, J walked in and was unhappy to see i was taking more 'drugs' I understand entirely.
Tonight was not suppost to happen this way. I have accepted it and that's all I can do right now. Her normally inviting presence is very much knowingly and without words said upset, despite kindness shown both ways. I can feel it in her presence. I have some considerable guilt in knowing that. It makes me consider taking the remainder 5 grams of shrooms of excellent potency - as I already trashed the night and feel the punishment may be deserved (Shrooms almost always result in a bad headtrip for me)
On the other hand perhaps taking some MDMA to ride the rest out..
Or just Flubromazolam and try to sleep...
Advice?
-
antagonistx added 36 Minutes and 30 Seconds later...
The rug is fun to watch. While knowing it has no patterning whatsoever, it has assembled in many little rug diamonds, all of which line up absolutely perfectly. Visually it would seem there are 'paths' created in the rug due to this assembly. Imagine a square Then imagine diamond shapes. The top left of one fits the bottom right of another, the top right fits the bottom left of another. These diamonds of which are made up of carpet, when allowed (focusing out like 'magic eye' type illusions), come to life as if little creatures. All the while the entire floor is pulsating almost like waves but more in colour and less as an actual wave. Like pulsating waves of colour. I am in control of these for the most part, though everything is still moving. I can potentiate a visual by focusing in or out.
-
In this room I have a lamp pointed to the celieng and it is next to a wall. It creates a bold horizontal shadow. This shadow most certainly has grown to become a shelf at times. Important to note that i am not anywhere close to being out of mind. This is eye candy. Nothing more I took 225ug Flubromazolam as I figured I shouldn't push farther - at least MDMA is certainly off.
-
Coming down and starting to feel very depressed. Still considerable visuals but not nearly as alive as they were. Flubromazolam should kick in very soon. Feeling 'self destruct', or rather, knowingly courageous in the stupidest ways possible. Lets bring out the Acetyl Fentanyl and titrate very slowly. No scales. I know this is a horrible idea, especially after taking a benzo. Full on caution - this is a FUCKING BAD IDEA. I am confident it will help me out at the moment. Titrating very slowly with extreme caution.
-
~5mg (eyed, insufflated) T+10mins - not feeling much. But a nice benchmark. Will wait 30 moremins before dosing a bit larger - keeping in mind they will compound effect..
This will continue until im fast asleep. Will touch base in the morning to let you know I'm all alive.
Hope someone got something out of all this.
-
-
-
Two days later I wrote:
I lived.
I tried vaporizing a bit more acetyl fentanyl and damn near nodded out. Sleep soon after. The next day was an entire haze - likely due to the flubromazolam.
I'm not entirely happy with my decisions during this night. Things could have gone bad in quite a few ways. Will exercise more caution in the future.
I figured it was worth posting none the less
Last edited:
