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July Getting/Staying Sober and/or Clean vs It's really hot, I want an icecream!

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40 days still going. I've noticed that I'm happy but I'm always thinking 'well I could be happier with [insert substance]'. I need to work on redefining my definition of happiness. Just being naturally 'OK' doesn't seem like it's good enough. I'm always seeking a thrill but need to learn to channel that search in to something positive & healthy. Just some thoughts.

After a good cardio workout I seem to get a natural high unlike anything that any substance has ever induced.
 
pinpoint said:
40 days still going. I've noticed that I'm happy but I'm always thinking 'well I could be happier with [insert substance]'.
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You probably should work on hobbies, activities, exercise, socializing and then you won't have these thoughts.

Really, our minds just fundamentally recognize when we aren't happy, and we try to say "oh well we could be happier with drugs" because of how programmed our minds become with consistent prior drug abuse.
 
Hey guys
ive had a few really shitty days, and it looks like im not going on the hunt for any more pills
i have cried so much this week that my face looks permanently puffy
i see my lawyer on monday and hopefully i will get somew good news. Then i have to get on with my life.
I hope you guys are having a good day
 
Captain.Heroin said:
You probably should work on hobbies, activities, exercise, socializing and then you won't have these thoughts.

Really, our minds just fundamentally recognize when we aren't happy, and we try to say "oh well we could be happier with drugs" because of how programmed our minds become with consistent prior drug abuse.
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Weren't you just posting a couple of months ago about how you contemplated suicide every single waking moment without opiates? Was it really as simple as exercising and seeing friends to pull you out of it?
 
Yes; and I would still feel that way if I hadn't regained an amazing life. :)

It takes time for you to regain appreciation for activities, hobbies, and other things.
 
Ok so im facing alittle problem not exactly sure how to go about it
So since ive bin clean i havent really had any sex and to.be honest eventho i really want to i kinda avoid it cuz im embaressed about the fact that im gonna cum really fast and it makes me nervous
This has caused me to relapse in the past and im scared it will happen again
So tonight i went out ith my friend and his girl and she brought a friend
So this friend is someone i know and would never consider touching cuz i grew up with her older sister and i knew her when i was 16 and she was 9 so its weird eventho im 29 now and she is 21
But i was so horny that i.went for it anyways
So long story short i got so nervous that i couldnt even really get hard cuz i came so fast so fucking embaressing
Then i gave her the whole speech about why im nervous and cum so fast which definetly killed the mood lol
Then i convinced her to go again this time i made it till i got hard and went in for like a total of 25 seconds max
Thats when the crazy thoughts of if i take only a perc or something ill be able to fuck like a champ n i gotta fuck her good atleast once so she can see how good i really am
But i cant do it cuz it will lead me right back
I really dont know what to do i know this nervousnes wont go away anytime soon
I wish there was a solution cuz i cant keep avoiding sex and im pretty sure this girl is gonna wanna.have sex again soon
Also im a pretty good looking guy and i have no problem talking to girls so i feel like they assume im a master in bed and that makes me even more nervous
Anyways i probably shoulda made this a threadbin slr or something but i wanted to post it with the people that have helped me the past 6 months
K thats enough ranting goodnight evreyone
 
totach said:
Ok so im facing alittle problem not exactly sure how to go about it
So since ive bin clean i havent really had any sex and to.be honest eventho i really want to i kinda avoid it cuz im embaressed about the fact that im gonna cum really fast and it makes me nervous
This has caused me to relapse in the past and im scared it will happen again
So tonight i went out ith my friend and his girl and she brought a friend
So this friend is someone i know and would never consider touching cuz i grew up with her older sister and i knew her when i was 16 and she was 9 so its weird eventho im 29 now and she is 21
But i was so horny that i.went for it anyways
So long story short i got so nervous that i couldnt even really get hard cuz i came so fast so fucking embaressing
Then i gave her the whole speech about why im nervous and cum so fast which definetly killed the mood lol
Then i convinced her to go again this time i made it till i got hard and went in for like a total of 25 seconds max
Thats when the crazy thoughts of if i take only a perc or something ill be able to fuck like a champ n i gotta fuck her good atleast once so she can see how good i really am
But i cant do it cuz it will lead me right back
I really dont know what to do i know this nervousnes wont go away anytime soon
I wish there was a solution cuz i cant keep avoiding sex and im pretty sure this girl is gonna wanna.have sex again soon
Also im a pretty good looking guy and i have no problem talking to girls so i feel like they assume im a master in bed and that makes me even more nervous
Anyways i probably shoulda made this a threadbin slr or something but i wanted to post it with the people that have helped me the past 6 months
K thats enough ranting goodnight evreyone
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You can go to a doctor and ask for a very very low dose of an SSRI like prozac; this will delay orgasm. :)

I can understand; in recovery I know what it's like to cum and not even be fully hard yet 8( it's mind-boggling

With time your body will adjust and return to normal (and if not you can still go to a doctor and receive medication)

You're doing great man, stay strong
 
totach said:
Ok so im facing alittle problem not exactly sure how to go about it
So since ive bin clean i havent really had any sex and to.be honest eventho i really want to i kinda avoid it cuz im embaressed about the fact that im gonna cum really fast and it makes me nervous
This has caused me to relapse in the past and im scared it will happen again
So tonight i went out ith my friend and his girl and she brought a friend
So this friend is someone i know and would never consider touching cuz i grew up with her older sister and i knew her when i was 16 and she was 9 so its weird eventho im 29 now and she is 21
But i was so horny that i.went for it anyways
So long story short i got so nervous that i couldnt even really get hard cuz i came so fast so fucking embaressing
Then i gave her the whole speech about why im nervous and cum so fast which definetly killed the mood lol
Then i convinced her to go again this time i made it till i got hard and went in for like a total of 25 seconds max
Thats when the crazy thoughts of if i take only a perc or something ill be able to fuck like a champ n i gotta fuck her good atleast once so she can see how good i really am
But i cant do it cuz it will lead me right back
I really dont know what to do i know this nervousnes wont go away anytime soon
I wish there was a solution cuz i cant keep avoiding sex and im pretty sure this girl is gonna wanna.have sex again soon
Also im a pretty good looking guy and i have no problem talking to girls so i feel like they assume im a master in bed and that makes me even more nervous
Anyways i probably shoulda made this a threadbin slr or something but i wanted to post it with the people that have helped me the past 6 months
K thats enough ranting goodnight evreyone
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Hey totach-for what it's worth, your hard penis is not the only thing that can make this young lady happy. I'm sure it is sone thing you want to look into for your own self-interest, but I'm my opinion, some of the best orgasms I have ever had were from skillful handwork-I'll never know where my husband learned his tricks, but I could care less if he ever got a hard on again, TBH.....however, I realize that is not so good for him. I just wanted to tell you this so that for now, you can still give this girl the best orgasm she has ever had-I promise you she will not care how she gets it.
Good luck and congrats with your clean time, you are doing so well !!
 
Thanx for the comments guys now she is asking my friend my I'm not calling her I'm not calling cuz I don't know what to say
Whatever not a big deal I know one thing for sure I will not use over this
I feel like this is a big test for me and I must pass this is not the first test since I got clean so I'm sure I will do fine
 
totach said:
Thanx for the comments guys now she is asking my friend my I'm not calling her I'm not calling cuz I don't know what to say
Whatever not a big deal I know one thing for sure I will not use over this
I feel like this is a big test for me and I must pass this is not the first test since I got clean so I'm sure I will do fine
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I'd ask the doctor for a low dose of SSRI, when I first got clean I had to take Celexa (still on), Wellbutrin (still on) and Seroquel (off). And I often couldn't finish... girlfriend loved it, it was frustrating for me though
 
totach said:
Thanx for the comments guys now she is asking my friend my I'm not calling her I'm not calling cuz I don't know what to say
Whatever not a big deal I know one thing for sure I will not use over this
I feel like this is a big test for me and I must pass this is not the first test since I got clean so I'm sure I will do fine
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If you want my advice, give her a call. It sounds like she likes you.
 
After 3 years of benzo addiction I've been able to taper down to 1/8th my original dose!! Yay! In May I dropped from 2mg/day to 1mg/day. Then I June I dropped from 1mg/day to .5mg/day and 10 days ago I dropped from .5mg/day to .25mg/day.

For anyone struggling with benzo addiction I have some light finally. When I was on benzos (klonopin 2mg/day) I never believed I would ever get off them. I fully believed that I would be on benzos for the rest of my life. I never in a million years though I would be able to even cut my dose.

From experience the first drop from 2mg to 1mg was the hardest. I think a lot of it was fueled psychologically. After the initial drop the others were much easier, from 1mg to .5 I had moderate anxiety immediately following waking up which I learned to breathe through and was able to level out after a few hours. Now after dropping from to .25 I felt those same dosage drop feelings but for a shorter amount of time after I woke up and also overall--instead of taking a few weeks to level out I leveled out within 4 days. I have no fear of quitting completely. I was hung up on the fact that I read people said that benzos were the worst to withdrawal from and that it was nearly impossible. I want to be someone who says it is possible and it's not as difficult as you psych yourself up to think. Not setting a time limit on my taper schedule helped immensely also.

I am just so happy to almost be done :)!
 
stardust.hero said:
After 3 years of benzo addiction I've been able to taper down to 1/8th my original dose!! Yay! In May I dropped from 2mg/day to 1mg/day. Then I June I dropped from 1mg/day to .5mg/day and 10 days ago I dropped from .5mg/day to .25mg/day.

For anyone struggling with benzo addiction I have some light finally. When I was on benzos (klonopin 2mg/day) I never believed I would ever get off them. I fully believed that I would be on benzos for the rest of my life. I never in a million years though I would be able to even cut my dose.

From experience the first drop from 2mg to 1mg was the hardest. I think a lot of it was fueled psychologically. After the initial drop the others were much easier, from 1mg to .5 I had moderate anxiety immediately following waking up which I learned to breathe through and was able to level out after a few hours. Now after dropping from to .25 I felt those same dosage drop feelings but for a shorter amount of time after I woke up and also overall--instead of taking a few weeks to level out I leveled out within 4 days. I have no fear of quitting completely. I was hung up on the fact that I read people said that benzos were the worst to withdrawal from and that it was nearly impossible. I want to be someone who says it is possible and it's not as difficult as you psych yourself up to think. Not setting a time limit on my taper schedule helped immensely also.

I am just so happy to almost be done :)!
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Way to go, Star! Nice to see you again, too. I've missed you.
 
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