I have struggled with depression for a long time. Normally i will drop a tab and or a pill and get off my tits and forget all my worries for a while and hope for the best with a comedown.
But the past 4 times i have taken ecstasy or ecstasy and LSD at the same time on the come up i feel like i should do on a come up (happy, free, social etc). But after a while (30 mins) I am still high as fuck, gurning my tits off. But not happy, no feelings of wanting to run wild or have fun. I will withdraw from everything around me and sit on my own and feel physical fine but emotionally not, people have seen me pulling my hair out and bashing my head on walls just due to how i feel/dont feel on the drug. Trying to describe this feeling so others know how it feels is like trying to cut a tree with a sponge it ist going to happen for a long time.
I feel nothing, like a robot. This the best description i can think off. The same feelings i had just before going to hospital for depression.
After the drugs have worn off i feel shit like everyone else on a comedown but SOoooo much better than when i was on them.
Sadly i am not willing to take ecstasy again and risk feeling like this without something i can try to stop i.
Why is this happening, how can i stop it happening?
I hope someone can help, no matter how shit i felt i could always look forward to rolling at the weekend :/ ecstasy signifies my youth and i don't want to lose it.
Although i can always turn to
But the past 4 times i have taken ecstasy or ecstasy and LSD at the same time on the come up i feel like i should do on a come up (happy, free, social etc). But after a while (30 mins) I am still high as fuck, gurning my tits off. But not happy, no feelings of wanting to run wild or have fun. I will withdraw from everything around me and sit on my own and feel physical fine but emotionally not, people have seen me pulling my hair out and bashing my head on walls just due to how i feel/dont feel on the drug. Trying to describe this feeling so others know how it feels is like trying to cut a tree with a sponge it ist going to happen for a long time.
I feel nothing, like a robot. This the best description i can think off. The same feelings i had just before going to hospital for depression.
After the drugs have worn off i feel shit like everyone else on a comedown but SOoooo much better than when i was on them.
Sadly i am not willing to take ecstasy again and risk feeling like this without something i can try to stop i.
Why is this happening, how can i stop it happening?
I hope someone can help, no matter how shit i felt i could always look forward to rolling at the weekend :/ ecstasy signifies my youth and i don't want to lose it.
Although i can always turn to