Jib and face picking!! Jesus

Lol Im just doing a shot of hydromorphone now to feel okay till I can get some dope and then Im just binging out on down till wednesday, done with jib. I just had one of those "Oh Woooow, so this is what's happening to me" moments when I was taking a picture for all my contacts to see what Id be wearing today. Heh just the wide eyed dilated to no end pupil on emaciated look (which I love) just hit me like with a kind of meaning. Fuck jib.

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terrorists win.

The terrorists always win…..

And WTF I just went to 711 to the atm to get some cash for some dope and my dealer was there :/ and now with out seeking I have another q of meth. Jesus fucking christ. Why can't I get this much free down?! I don't even want it I chucked it on my table and am laying on my bed now. Fuck I have no want for it, but something is keeping me from just flushing it. faaaaaack
 
Indeed. Do you go into public like that Sailor Bugg?

Really you think I wear a band aid on my nose/face, bandages and scarves out and about?! Jeez! Nope I put on make up (cc cream and bb powder), wear the head scarf (as I don't feel like doing my hair if Im just going to 711 or something) and sometimes wear one around my neck. Its really hot here and I have pretty long hair and it makes me get all hot feeling in the sun so I like to cover it with at least a bandana on my head (and if its really hot out I like to cover my neck too). But as for the tee shirt Im wearing I wear that out lol its just one of my ex gf shirts I really like it and it makes me look really skinny which I love. I usually wear my glasses when Im out too, they're giant square lens prada glasses with arms go up and down in a wave shape (they get a lot of nice comments!).

Oh btw I said fuck it to the ice and threw it in water and dumped it down the drain, I don't want it at all. I got two points and I did one and feel great, like I never binged out.
 
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This is what I choose to wear today, tried to wear so much random shit no one would take not of my nose. I have a really bad sun burn on my nose that needs to heal so I need a band aid on it :(
 
I like how he called it an "invention"...! hahahah cough, cough, lmfao!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Fuckin' tweekers never seem to amaze me...8(
 
I like how he called it an "invention"...! hahahah cough, cough, lmfao!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Fuckin' tweekers never seem to amaze me...8(


Hey I managed to ingress my other tweaker friends when I texted them it lol. My ex wished I had come up with that for her when we used to chill and smoke hard. Shed rip her eyebrows off and shit.

And yes I know it's not much of an invention. I did come up with something a bit more technical while I was tweaking the other day, I figured out how I'd fully automate my hydroponic shit and redid the DWC to kinda merge it between that and a drip and an ebb/flow, Im gonna set it up on Monday with my little MK Ultra buddy!

Drew out schematics for how it'd work, did all the mathematics and stuff, drafted it out. Actually used a lot of stuff I learned in first year and second year drafting for engineering at uni. Love when I get to use stuff I learned in school in the real world! Did the same thing for my mush mush. Also checked the plans after I was high to make sure it was all correct, which it pretty much was.

Just did a shot of hydro! More on its way here too! Yay gonna get a good sleep tonight and I might just set up my new hydroponic idea tomorrow, need it to be almost automated for a month at a time while Im at treatment.

Oh found something great for if I feel like picking and Im not all grabbed up, I found some tweezers and just pluck at day old stubble every time I want to pick.
 
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Lol you seem like a interesting funny person it's hella hot where I live to what area are you in Sailor bugs
 
Lol you seem like a interesting funny person it's hella hot where I live to what area are you in Sailor bugs

Heheheheh Thanks, I try to be entertaining ;) It's only like 25*C here in van city, but I don't tolerate the heat well, and with all these fucking led lights in my bedroom for my plants it just gets hot in my room, which makes the apartment boil. I've been in a lot this last week so those damn lights heat has been bugging me. I mean LED doesn't make too much heat but when theres multiples and they go up to 300W in a 150sqft room it heats the damn place up. Outside isn't much better lol.

Okay Im fucking tired been shooting hydro all night, my buddies gf came over and gave me 10 dilly pills which I made into 2 shots, feel in good, gonna pass out.
 
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IV meth is my favorite. Honestly though, being addicted to it... it pays to be a masochist. It's a cruel mistress. The first few days it's great... then the crash that follows is legendary.

I'm glad you flushed your shit and glad you're going to try to quit meth. Honestly, I understand the struggle.... I know what you mean exactly when you say , "I feel like I have this issue where Im constantly hungry and I always have food, but no matter much I eat or how fast, I'm never satisfied. Its not living, not at all." I am in the same boat. Its a painful life... but I can say without hesitation that meth only made it 10x worse. Being a tweaker long term was never something I could imagine doing. The fear of my heart exploding, the neglect to family and friends... the recklessness... the impulsiveness.. the utter destructive nature I take on while tweaking.. were all so profound in a period of 3 months of tweaking.. I racked up 2k in credit card debt, lost a majority of my friends... blah blah blah you know the story. So I got sober but now it's like Wtf! Where do I go from here? I'm always hungry.. and the weight you lose from meth is gained back in no time because once you quit your body goes into hunger overdrive.. but for me the hunger overdrive doesn't seem to fuck off. I'm always hungry. So I constantly fight the urge to eat because I want to be thin. But my overall appearance.. I dunno.. I love how meth made me look. Thin, sickly, pale, etc. Love it xD probably not good to love it... but yeah. So the pull is there. Knowing I could just do some shit and be thin... happy etc. Problem is that it doesn't last for me. The crash + the damage I accumulate from my poor decisions while on meth are monumental.

When it comes to coke.. honestly... dysphoria is kinda all I get from it now. I snort a line... or do a shot.. feel slightly more jittery and edgy for 20 mins or so... then feel like utter shit and wanna off myself for the next few hours. Fuck all dat. ._.

I think I'll always miss meth. But honestly, I just try to remind myself how much better I feel not crashing. Plus since my heart issues.. whenever I do meth now my chest hurts... and my arms get tingly and such... which then scares the shit out of me.. so I end up feeling awesome for about an hour or so.. then feeling like crap for like 4 days... 1 day of which I spend worrying if I'm gonna have a heart attack or not lol. No fun.

 

OMFG thats soooo fucking funny!!!!!!!! HAHAHHAH I showed all my friends and they had a proper laugh.

Yea I don't think I'm going to be getting into jib, last night I was so worn down and just exhausted in everyday be it physically and emotionally or w/e that I started spamming texts that were boarder line psychotic to people, not like attacking them, but just venting to them and it was like at 5am. Luckily all of my friends have had or have issues with substances and they been in the same spot as me doing that and weren't angry at all. I did apologize for if I woke them up but they told me never to apologize for venting to them, that they always are there to listen and won't judge. Especially this a few people who used to be meth heads and are really mature, when I come to them for help I just feel so emotionally open and like I can put my guard down. And I wrote a big long text to my ex who's in treatment (she's the one who helped me get into a treatment centre and convinced me to go) about how much she means to me and how I consider her my best friend. And for the first time in quite a few years, probably 3 and a half I started to cry, not from being broken, but from how happy I was that everything is gonna get better for me soon. Just one more week. Then I slept for 10 hours and felt so damn refreshed and did a shot of some really good down with a bit of meth in it that I found on my scale, and got so high I could barely keep myself up. Damn must be new shit I guess, plus it lasted like 4x longer than normal. So Ive had a good day.

Lol that picture tho lololol.
 
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Jib is an interesting name for it. Never heard it called that around here. It's called "shit" or "dope" here.

That's exactly what we call it over here. I live in Kansas. While I've never used meth, a friend of mine who is an addict calls it "shit", so in turn I usually refer to it as "shit" too. Everyone else calls it "dope" because heroin is practically unheard of in my area.
 
That's exactly what we call it over here. I live in Kansas. While I've never used meth, a friend of mine who is an addict calls it "shit", so in turn I usually refer to it as "shit" too. Everyone else calls it "dope" because heroin is practically unheard of in my area.

I always thought heroin was called dope because it affected dopamine in the brains reward centre. Or because it makes you dopey eyed. I don't know what most people around here call jib cuz I only know one person who does it, altho most people Ive encountered call it ice. I just like the name jib heh.

Just spent the last hour figuring out how to make my hydroponics system fully automated while Im at rehab and can't check on it and have to have someone else just make sure the place is alright (they wouldn't know what to do).
 
I always thought heroin was called dope because it affected dopamine in the brains reward centre. Or because it makes you dopey eyed. I don't know what most people around here call jib cuz I only know one person who does it, altho most people Ive encountered call it ice. I just like the name jib heh.

I'm pretty sure "dope" refers to heroin in most areas, but due to there being hardly any heroin in my town, a lot of people just call meth "dope". Meth is the big drug in my area.
 
But yea around here people call it dizzel, dope or down. It, coke and hard are the big three where Im from.
 
I'm pretty sure "dope" refers to heroin in most areas, but due to there being hardly any heroin in my town, a lot of people just call meth "dope". Meth is the big drug in my area.
Here if you use meth you call it "shit" if you don't... you call it dope. Heroin is practically unheard of in my area. Meth is a huge problem where I live.

Glad to hear sailor bugg that you plan to avoid meth after this binge. It really is a very awful drug.
 
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