I know there are a lot of threads on this and believe me, with my OCD I have probably read them all! I was hoping that most of the PWD horror stories are the minority of people and that most people have a fine time getting back on suboxone.
if I had read what I had read now, I never would have relapsed. I want so much to get back on subs but my mind is psyching itself out!
here is my brief history.
addicted to heroin 10 years ago for six months max
prescribed suboxone. Worked great.
took suboxone for most of the past ten years. Quit it cold turkey a couple times and always felt better on it. It works well for me.
have taken several short relapses, mostly for one or two nights and then back to suboxone.
this last time got out of control and will be my last. I started heroin several months ago, and always was going to quit the next day, so I would wake up and take suboxone, and then when night came I would crack and call the dealer. Made it a couple times without calling the dealer and into the second or third day and starting to feel normal on just suboxone again and then cracked and call.
at some point I noticed I would wake up really edgy. I have always stopped heroin the night before and about 8-12 hours later taken subs while still in bed and then get up an hour later and feel better. Very small amounts, like 1mg. I did some reading and I think that the suboxone was giving me small PWD. I would be edgy for. A Few hours and then shoot up heroin. The heroin would be blocked but it took the edginess away and made me feel normal.
i don't know why this started happening other than Perhaps my heroin tolerance went up and the suboxone started stripping it off the receptors? I tried waiting a little longer in the day and taking small amounts of suboxone and it just sort of evened me out maybe.
i realized I should not be taking both together and two to two and a half weeks ago stopped suboxone and have been doing only heroin. This two plus weeks is the longest run I have been on of only heroin since when I first got addicted and I don't like it and am scared all the time, but I have been reading induction horror stories and how people get precipWD or some people said the suboxone after many vacations doesn't work for two to three days and they feel rotten until it does.
so basically I have psyched myself out and am worried suboxone won't work or won't work as well, or I will take it too soon, even though in the past I have not had a problem if I waited for mild withdrawals. The edginess I experienced in the morning I was probably only waiting eight hours, and if I was awake would probably only be starting withdrawal so that whttp://www.securityinfowatch.com/online/Retail/LP-Managers-Help-Shut-Down-a-Major-Shoplifting-Operation-in-Oregon/6356SIW379
as probably too soon.
i am and have never really been in a scene, so I don't have anyone to talk to with experience with suboxone. I need to get back on it and as quickly and comfortably as possible.
Are the stories I have read mostly from the few people that had bad experiences and most people can get back on it no problem?
Is is there any truth to the fact that if I do find it hard, or go into PWD I can inject little bits of heroin over the first few days to ease the transition?
am I just worried about nothing and should wait until I feel mild WD and take my medicine and it will be fine? I'm not sure if this is a real common problem or if it is just my OCD making me think it is. Like being a hypochondriac and reading about a sickness and thinking for sure you will get it.
i just don't like being on heroin daily, nor can I afford it, I need suboxone to work and I need to get back on it and soon before my life falls apart completely.
if I had read what I had read now, I never would have relapsed. I want so much to get back on subs but my mind is psyching itself out!
here is my brief history.
addicted to heroin 10 years ago for six months max
prescribed suboxone. Worked great.
took suboxone for most of the past ten years. Quit it cold turkey a couple times and always felt better on it. It works well for me.
have taken several short relapses, mostly for one or two nights and then back to suboxone.
this last time got out of control and will be my last. I started heroin several months ago, and always was going to quit the next day, so I would wake up and take suboxone, and then when night came I would crack and call the dealer. Made it a couple times without calling the dealer and into the second or third day and starting to feel normal on just suboxone again and then cracked and call.
at some point I noticed I would wake up really edgy. I have always stopped heroin the night before and about 8-12 hours later taken subs while still in bed and then get up an hour later and feel better. Very small amounts, like 1mg. I did some reading and I think that the suboxone was giving me small PWD. I would be edgy for. A Few hours and then shoot up heroin. The heroin would be blocked but it took the edginess away and made me feel normal.
i don't know why this started happening other than Perhaps my heroin tolerance went up and the suboxone started stripping it off the receptors? I tried waiting a little longer in the day and taking small amounts of suboxone and it just sort of evened me out maybe.
i realized I should not be taking both together and two to two and a half weeks ago stopped suboxone and have been doing only heroin. This two plus weeks is the longest run I have been on of only heroin since when I first got addicted and I don't like it and am scared all the time, but I have been reading induction horror stories and how people get precipWD or some people said the suboxone after many vacations doesn't work for two to three days and they feel rotten until it does.
so basically I have psyched myself out and am worried suboxone won't work or won't work as well, or I will take it too soon, even though in the past I have not had a problem if I waited for mild withdrawals. The edginess I experienced in the morning I was probably only waiting eight hours, and if I was awake would probably only be starting withdrawal so that whttp://www.securityinfowatch.com/online/Retail/LP-Managers-Help-Shut-Down-a-Major-Shoplifting-Operation-in-Oregon/6356SIW379
as probably too soon.
i am and have never really been in a scene, so I don't have anyone to talk to with experience with suboxone. I need to get back on it and as quickly and comfortably as possible.
Are the stories I have read mostly from the few people that had bad experiences and most people can get back on it no problem?
Is is there any truth to the fact that if I do find it hard, or go into PWD I can inject little bits of heroin over the first few days to ease the transition?
am I just worried about nothing and should wait until I feel mild WD and take my medicine and it will be fine? I'm not sure if this is a real common problem or if it is just my OCD making me think it is. Like being a hypochondriac and reading about a sickness and thinking for sure you will get it.
i just don't like being on heroin daily, nor can I afford it, I need suboxone to work and I need to get back on it and soon before my life falls apart completely.