I know what you mean but I'm trying to explain to family but they don't really understand and are telling me to take ssri but they actually make me so ill its so hard just now .. I kind of went through the same thing when I was 17 Took me years .. Now ive stupidly got myself into this state again such a mistake. I'm going to see a neurologist Ias there any sort of scan that can see the serotonin system ? I've heard a spect scan can see this and can detect neurotoxcity etc so hoping to get one of them for peice of mind
Again, it's unlikely that seeing the neurologist is going to give you a cure. It might shine light on which areas of your brain have more/less activity than normal, but they can't medicate it. I'm not trying to discourage, on the contrary, I'm trying to encourage you to stop looking for answers to a question that can't be answered in full. The best answer anyone, medical professional or not, can give you, is that you are suffering from extreme stress. The catalyst for this event was caused by the hormone and neurotransmitter overload caused by either the MDMA comedown, or the experience itself.
Things that help me
1) 10 minute cold shower morning and evening
2) 20 minutes (at least) meditation a day. More if I have time.
3) Hypnosis. There's a lot of good ones on YouTube. It's surprisingly effective and I was very skeptical at first.
4) Brain training apps. There's one called Fit Brains that I use. It's fun, interesting and requires 100% focus. If costs money but it tracks your progress. It might also prove to you you're not as fucked up as you think.
5) SLEEP. 12 hours a day if you can manage it. Preferably not all in one go, take naps.
6) Avoid caffeine. I thought it was helping me at first, but it raises cortisol and causes a crash, the last thing you need right now. Avoid cigarettes and processed sugar.
7) Laugh. Especially at yourself. There is a funny side to EVERY situation.
I also had a low period when I was 18 ( a few years ago). This was caused by weed. I had all the symptoms of an LTC, minus some of the more unusual physical symptoms. It took me about a year to fully recover from that, which was a damn sight less stressful on my body than an MDMA binge.
But I'm the sort of high-energy, strung out guy that is very sensitive to anything that knocks me out of homeostatis. This is behaviour I've learnt, combined with a genetic disposition to feel emotions strongly (not a genetic disposition to be neurotic: no such gene exists).
Hang in there bro. Given time, you will get better. Focus on what you want, not on what you don't want.