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Day 17 oxycodone withdrawal... Still so sad. Help??

Hkkbv777

Greenlighter
Joined
Apr 16, 2014
Messages
1
Hello,

I'm new to all of this. This is my first withdrawal that is happening by choice. I had been on Percocet/oxycodone off and on for about 5 years. I started out with 5/325mg, then most recently this past November stopped using that when my doctor prescribed me 120 15mg oxy per month. I ended up going thriving those pills way too fast and ended up each time with 2 weeks to go before I could get it refilled.

When I decided to finally stop taking the little green pills was when I realized that I was relying on them more for how they made me feel than for pain. They seemed to take away my stress and helped me to be a good mom to my two kids. I could manage anxiety and their tantrums. I could handle housework, and any daily stress. I was up to taking about 100mg of oxy a day.

Without it, I am nothing. I can't feel happiness. My boys, (4 and 6) are precious to me, but I can't even find joy in motherhood. I sit here typing this in tears on our way home from a vacation that I couldn't even enjoy. When will this stop? My husband is less than 2 feet from me and I'm can feel myself panicking because I know that he will be going back to work next week. I love him so much, and he is the only thing that brings me calmness during this time. And NO, he cannot miss anymore work. He missed some work to be with our kids while I endured the sickness of early withdrawal.

I just want to be me. Happy me. Kind mommy, capable human, not someone who has a sad face all the time and can cry for no reason at all. My libido is practically gone. My sweet husband is an incredible man and has been so great through this. I want to be better. What has helped you?

I'm honestly trying. I'm not trying to be pathetic by choice.
 
Hello,

I'm new to all of this. This is my first withdrawal that is happening by choice. I had been on Percocet/oxycodone off and on for about 5 years. I started out with 5/325mg, then most recently this past November stopped using that when my doctor prescribed me 120 15mg oxy per month. I ended up going thriving those pills way too fast and ended up each time with 2 weeks to go before I could get it refilled.

When I decided to finally stop taking the little green pills was when I realized that I was relying on them more for how they made me feel than for pain. They seemed to take away my stress and helped me to be a good mom to my two kids. I could manage anxiety and their tantrums. I could handle housework, and any daily stress. I was up to taking about 100mg of oxy a day.

Without it, I am nothing. I can't feel happiness. My boys, (4 and 6) are precious to me, but I can't even find joy in motherhood. I sit here typing this in tears on our way home from a vacation that I couldn't even enjoy. When will this stop? My husband is less than 2 feet from me and I'm can feel myself panicking because I know that he will be going back to work next week. I love him so much, and he is the only thing that brings me calmness during this time. And NO, he cannot miss anymore work. He missed some work to be with our kids while I endured the sickness of early withdrawal.

I just want to be me. Happy me. Kind mommy, capable human, not someone who has a sad face all the time and can cry for no reason at all. My libido is practically gone. My sweet husband is an incredible man and has been so great through this. I want to be better. What has helped you?

I'm honestly trying. I'm not trying to be pathetic by choice.

Welcome to BL. I have had the same experience the first time I quit oxy's, in 2013. It is part of the syndrome known as PAWS... Post Acute Withdrawal Syndrome. There is a lot of good information on PAWS on BL as well as the internet. I am now trying to quit again, I also am prescribed the little green 15 mg oxycodone, and although they help my physical pain, they definitely give me the energy and motivation to complete my gardening and household chores. Most articles suggest exercise as a solution to this depression, as it helps our body produce endorphins again. I also have begun to take a very small dosage of Prozac, that I have from a couple years ago, because that helps my depression as well. Unfortunately, I think many people would never have even started taking oxy's if they knew the effect it would on us to experience pleasure in life.
It does get better over time for most people. Keep posting and reading, and you may find some ways to alleviate this problem. It is for real.
 
Opioids at high dose can lead to anhedonia or the inability to feel pleasure. However, you might possibly have underlying depression issues because anhedonia is also a common depression symptom. If your insurance situation allows for it, I would go to a pyschiatrist and get a professional diagnosis to help figure out what is most likely causing it. It may just require some temporary treatment with anti-depressants.
 
Try kratom, i was an oxy addict for 12 years. i couldn't quit because of the depression. I feel your emotional pain. I used kratom about 3 weeks ago, it doesn't really get you high it just tickles the opiate receptor enough to make you feel normal. It can also be addicting but alot less then oxy.

I know that feeling of hopelessness... I can't promise everything but kratom made a world of difference for me.

Do some research on kratom and opiate recovery. If you have any other questions feel free to pm me.
 
Hey HK...This is my first post, too. I am a "Pollyanna" when it comes to pain meds. I've always feared opiates. I've dealt with 4 decades of pain with basically OTC anti-inflammatory meds and Darvocet as my "go-to". However, after I reached 50, and Darvocet was taken off market, I waved the white flag of surrender to try Pain Management.

I've been through about 15 months of trials now from Morphine to Fentanyl patches (and all of the hellish SEs you can imagine). Strangely, we've yet to find true relief. The Oxycodone changes my perception of pain and lifts my spirits...but that scares me. I have dealt with severe depression most of my adult life (take Zoloft). The sedating meds make the depression worse.

:! Sorry, some glitch ate my post. I had typed so much more. HK, just know that I understand your emptiness, fear, sadness and isolation. I've not taken large enough doses for an extended period of time because I'm scared I could "like" feeling human again...productive and social. I know it's the Oxycodone changing my perception. After such a long life of injuries and surgeries, (I'm 54--was never able to conceive)...I'm questioning "Do I go all in with this med as prescribed?" and regret it down the road. Or will it provide the stimulant to get me out of the darkness of dreading yet another day of suffering either way?

You've got your babies and your husband. Can you talk with your doctor to wean you to a lower dose w/addition of AD med?

(((Hugs)))

DixiChik
 
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I'm going through exactly the same thing as the OP. I've taken Percocet for YEARS for bladder pain (and yes, the good vibes). But this year, it stopped working at the dosage I was used to, and I'm now running out in 1/2 a month. How hard is it to find kratom?
 
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