husband on meth

[roxannam77]

Hello all I'm pretty new to this and I needed advice from others who have dealt with what I'm going through. I'm currently dealing with my husband and his addiction to meth. He's been on it for the past 4 months now, he's barley admitting that he has a problem and I feel like the only reason he admitted he was using is because I drug tested him and it came up positive. I'm currently pregnant with his second child and I'm not to sure how to go about helping him? He swears up and down he's trying to get clean but I've heard that for the past 4 months now. I just want my husband back, a little about him is he's 20 years old, was in the army now is getting kicked out because of the drugs, he's never been into hard drugs before just weed and cocaine mabey once. His father and mother were hard core meth addicts his father quit cold turkey and has been clean for 10 years now, his mother on the other hand still uses, she's the one that introduced him into it. I think it's hard for him to quit because hes always had depression and anger issues and what I've read meth is so post to make you feel really good? I'm not ready to give up on my husband at the same time I'm not sure if it's to late for him to recover any advice is welcomed thank you

 

[snazzy_sn]

listen to him and be open to what he says.
but don't be a pushover if he starts being a dick or a nuisance.

that's... i'm not really one to give advice though so i dunno.
i'm sure some of the regulars on this particular forum can probably be of more help.

 

[herbavore]

It is never too late to recover but he has to want to. In the meantime you will need to keep a very clear head about you and your children. Joining some kind of support group like al-anon might be a good idea for you. Can you appeal to his father to try to talk to him?

I'm very sorry that this is happening to both of you. This is no way to live period but when you are pregnant and your emotions are heightened it must be very hard. Try to do whatever you can--even mindful breathing throughout the day so that your baby does not take on all the stress.It is very difficult to determine what is support and what is enabling when you love someone that has an addiction. Everyone has to define that line for themselves in my opinion but don't bury your head in the sand. Addiction is powerful and it does not mean that your husband is weak or uncaring or selfish. Love him by encouraging him and supporting his efforts when he makes them. But love yourself and your children as well and always put them first.

 

[badfish45]

He needs a support network. Be a continuing source of love through his hard times. But also make sure your priority is to keep your children safe/healthy and don't let his bad decisions interfere with that.

 

[Freaksh0w]

There's also only so much you can do. My mom stuck with my dad, for "us kids", through his cocaine/alcoholic rampages for YEARS. I begged and begged for a divorce.

POINT being, everyone deserves a chance. At the same time, everyone deserves to be happy. If he keeps messing up and going back to his old ways, you need to leave to go make a good life for you and your kid. Don't drag your kid through this mess with you. Sounds like you have a few months before having to worry about your child, so let him know you don't plan on going through this as your child turns 18.

When giving him your chance, follow the rules above. He'll need love, love is the most powerful damn thing in the world. Can relieve withdrawal symptoms. It can make us do things that we would have NEVER have thought about doing without love. Yet, in the end, it starts with him wanting it. You have to get that far. He needs to be honest. You should be able to believe him when he says he wants it. That doesn't mean he CAN just drop it... but... at the same time, a person CAN just drop anything. Unfortunately, it's a rare sight in addiction.