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Benzos Help - Will I have another seizure? VERY scared!(HIGH dose Xanax)

I'm at work so I'll writr more later...just sending love and support your way for now :)

Do the best you can Love!

Peace.
 
So sorry I haven't written more...got a new jpb, working too many hours, with my health issues it's really wearing me out, and God forbid my husband can.lift a finger around the house so.I'm not up til the morning hours taking care of the house...

But you're on my mind,, and i'm praying for you and sending lots of love and strength and positivity your wsy.

I'm off to work now. Please feel free to pm me, ok hon?

Just do the best you can. And don't hate yourself. That never, ever helps.

Peace. <3
 
Well, there were too many hands on deck at work so I got to go home after a short while (nice since I get 1to day off usually!), so here I am :)

I know this is very difficult for you. And I know you're taking other things as well. Perhaps try a different way...

What do you think would be the EASIEST thing to ween off of and give up? Maybe start there. One step at a time - don't overwhelm yourself. If you do that, NOTHING will be accomplished.

If you're set on quitting benzos first, you will need (if you're set on doing it yourself, which is risky and scary but only you can decide to ask for help), then a SLOW taper is your best bet. SLOW. Do you want to quit quickly, possibly have a seizure, and almost definitely relapse? OR, do you wanna do it right, slowly, get off and STAY off?

You seem to be an all-or-nothing personality. The problem with this is you're probably a perfectionist who either wants to do something quickly and totally, or, if not, you get discouraged and give up trying completely. Know that the type of thinking that got you INTO this mess, won't get you OUT of it. You'll have to adjust the way you look at things.

There's a middle way. Where you seek balance in your body. You take enough to be safe and well. You don't take too much to get fucked up. Once your body adjusts to that, you take a little less - and I do mean, A LITTLE less. Again, allow your body to get used to that dose, stay there for a bit, then lower some more. Repeat.

Do NOT feel like a failure simply because you can't taper as quickly as you'd like, because you can't stop as fast as you'd like. This kind of thinking gets you nowhere, and fast. Benzos are no joke -- as you're well aware, the risk of seizures is REAL and LIFE-THREATENING. You'd be foolish to rush the process of breaking free of your dependency. Slow and steady is the ONLY LOGICAL, SAFE(r) WAY TO.GO.

Don't get ahead of yourself.

Cutting down.by 1-2a mg at a time may make you feel like there's no victory to be celebrated ...but that's not true at all. If this makes you feel like a failure, you absolutely need to learn to see it from a different perspective. It's not SAFE to rush this taper...and so, YES, cutting back by small amounts at a time and letting your body adjust for as long as necessary before cutting back again.IS A REASON TO PAT YOURSELF ON THE BACK!

Maybe putting more focus on the end goal, and less focus on the small steps, would be the better way to look at it to keep you more positive, motivated, and DAMN PROUD of yourself. However you need to view this, to keep proper perspective and feel PROUD of yourself is the way to go. :)

Just do your best, take it slow, and remember that so mant people don't even TRY ...what you're doing is WONDERFUL and INCREDIBLE and you deserve your own respect and pride :)

Peace. <3
 
Hello everybody (And ABetterWay <3)

I am thinking about an alternative and trying a RC Clonozolam. Similar to Klonopin from what I have read. I just have to do research now and find a legit vendor. I am so tired of being on these pills. I need to slowly keep weening off and in reality I do not think I can do it with xanax alone.

Can anyone offer some guidance into Clonozolam? I have been reading the Mega thread but it seems like every post is for people who want to try it to get high. I am in a case where I want to stop using If anyone can help I would be extremely grateful.

Thank you, and A BetterWay, as always, your kind words make my day better. They truly do.
 
How are you hanging in.there, sweetheart?

Thinking of you and wishing you well. Peace, strength, and calm to you.

<3
 
Thinking of you today, Mankibd, as I do every day, and wishing you well.

Don't be ashamed. Don't hate yourself. Don't keep track of every tiny to big perceived "failure" while ignoring, dismissing, and/or downplaying your successes. Don't get down and judgmental on yourself. These things never help. Never.

Give yourself credit where it's due - no matter if you think it's "just" small. Nothing that is difficult to accomplish is a "small" feat - even if it's the simple act of recognizing that things need to change, and that there's a problem. Do you comprehend how many millions of people never even get to that point??? Whether their problem(s) is/are substance abuse, being an abusive person, being too meek, etc etc etc. People as a species aren't great at admitting weaknesses or shortcomings, thus leaving themselves with ZERO POSSIBILITY for deliberate, positive, and useful change.

Instead of berating yourself and putting yourself down, give yourself credit for having the enormous strength to admit there's a problem, and simply take inventory...see what errors you're making not to hate yourself for it, but so you can identify what needs fixing, and take small steps to fix it.

Quite importantly, recognize what exactly sets you off or triggers you, that leads to you taking any steps backwards. Figure out what events/feelings/thoughts lead you to over-indulge, and avoid or mitigate those circumstances so they're not as much of an.issue and trigger for you.

PLEASE feel free to PM me. Let me know here if my inbox os ever too full and I'll fix it.

Really....I get the feeling/impression that you're a lovely soul, and that you're hurting emotionally so much more than you're comfortable admitting openly. There's no shame in that, and I'm happy to listen.

Today (Weds) is my day off, so I'll check back later on, ok?

Keep me updated and informed, my Friend.

Sending yiu Love, Peace, Strength, Joy, Calm, Courage, and Healthy Pride :)I You CAN do this....just don't rush things. Take it VERY SLOWLY to ensure success :)

How'd it go with the Subs, btw? The swab?

You're in my thoughts and prayers Dear.

Peace.
 
Hey Mankind,

I'm at work and will reply better later on today after I'm off.

Just do the best you can. That's all anyone can do, for anything!

Glad you've gotten it back down again. Good for you. You're going in the right direction. Just keep putting one foot in front of the other, and eventually you'll get there.

Sending you well-wishes for strength and calm. May you be well. May you be happy. May you be peaceful. May you be liberated.

Peace.
 
Mankind I hope you are doing well. Instead of the DIY detox, I would check into a detox/rehab center run by medical professionals, or go to a hospital and tell them what's happening and what doses of benzos you are taking, and how you want to get off of them safely.

I have friends who did try to detox themselves from benzos and they all had seizures and some almost died from this. Stay safe.
 
Hope you're doing well today. Been working A LOT of hours, will write more later.

Take care of yourself and do the best you can!

Peace :)
 
mankind said:
and 16 subs at the same time once
Click to expand...
are you saying you ate 16 suboxone? you put 16 subs under your tongue throughout the day? not sure how much you know about bupe but that would be a complete waste and would do NOTHING.. and I truly mean NOTHING.. as far as getting high goes. its all a mental game from there, dude. even the MAX which is 24/MG is a waste; anything more than 16/MG (which is my script) I feel is a waste of time; and believe me, I was shooting 2-3G's of dope daily.

and w/ regard to your benzo usage, you NEED A DR. I came up dope and benzo and went thorough multiple seizures and I was only using 4-6MG tops daily; if you are in the 20+ range then you surly do need medical attention; forget about this taper bullshit.

and to be honest, and honesty is key here, right!? well, I honestly dont feel you even want to get off this shit. you keep going back and coming back w/ more and more. if you wanted out there is a way out.. its called a HOSPITAL! you need to go to a HOSPITAL.. not even a detox! or go to detox run by medical professionals who can help because you surly will have a hard fucking time w/ the benzo withdrawal as well as your opiate withdrawal since you mention you are on suboxone.

man, I wish you nothing but the best of luck but it seems you have money, live an OK life, etc, but its the drugs that are killing you. and its UP TO YOU TO GET OFF THOSE DRUGS, so do what needs to be done rather than continue to use but WISH the opposite.
 
Hey Mankind. Hope you're well. I only had today off and I was/am so very burnt out I slept most of the day aside from doing laundry. I really needed it.

How'd Sunday go?

Let me know how you're holding up. Its been a few days. I hope you're ok. Just do the best you can. It's all anyone can do.

May you be happy. May you be well. May you be peaceful. May you be liberated.

Be kind to yourself my friend :)

Peace.
 
I understand that you can withstand the withdrawals but have concerns of having another seizure. You have to understand that you will have a much HIGHER risk of having a seizure. A simple tapering won't help you that much, especially at your psychological state and if you're dealing with different substances, especially research benzodiazepines.

You're only going to prolong the inevitable. A physician or a practitioner will have the best education and resources to provide you with everything you need to go back to your normal physical state. I understand that you're feeling under the weather, but it's just a lot of the wrong things your body got used to is what's causing sadness and angst. Aren't you tired of it? Don't you want to feel back to your best self again? When you didn't need to depend on any substances for your well being? There's a whole world for you to explore and you're just throwing it away day by day.

Life is full of mysteries as cliche as that sounds, but hell, you may discover some great new things in this world that you never got to experience, because you were hustlin' to get your fix to live a sub par life that restricted you from experiencing more things in life and that being under guidance from a medical professional and following their advice will get you that much closer to being back to your best self again. You may feel like your family will be better off without you, but you're not them. They're still individuals and you lived with them for so long. You don't think there's any unconditional love, bonding, or attachment? How would you know how they feel after you've passed away? You won't know, you'd already be deceased.

The majority of the people here has voted hospital including me. If you know it's serious, then you should definitely check into a hospital or at least a visit to your doctor. They're there to help and everything that goes on between you and them is strictly confidential. This is a winning route and the only winning route that can help and give fast, great results. We've all said the same thing, you should go to the hospital now, but if you feel the need to think about it, then it's definitely a golden ticket that you're throwing away if you don't go.

It's all up to you now, would you rather keep on hustling and getting high just to feel normal, living in fear of withdrawal and seizures or use that golden ticket to have professionals help you recover at the fastest rate with minimal harm so that you can be your best self again? What's stopping you from going to the hospital?
 
speaking of seizures, I've had them before as I mentioned, but was just coming off 1 month of using Etizolam straight and had a seizure last night.

laying in bed fucking lost, I remember it happening throughout. not my first seizure by no means; partially to do w/ drugs and also a stage 2 brain tumor that was found many years back.
 
The only way out is to go into a facility and have a supervised detox, either through the ER or from the suggestion of his sub or family doctor. There is no way out unless you have incredible restraint with benzos --which you obviously don't--and do a taper. Since you have a history of seizures from benzos in the past, you are going to have to do a 6 month to a year taper. Good luck, bro. I know what it's like and I can't stand two days without my Klonopin (been on 1-2mg for 20 years). Keep us updated.
 
Please give an.update hon. Feel free to pm me an update if you prefer. Getting ready for work now, checking in as usual :)

I hope your day goes well my dear.

Peace.
 
Hey, Mankind,

You ok my friend? Worried about you. Please give an update on how you're doing if you're able to.

Love yourself. Take good, kind, loving care of yourself.

You matter.

Peace.
 
Mankind.

I actually tried to do the exact thing you speak of, going with the clonozolam to taper. Don't do it! It's incredibly euphoric and addicting, and the rebound effects make Xanax look relieving.

Diclazepam is the way to go if you have to taper with an RC benzo. I actually just ordered mine, and it should be here soon hopefully. The -lams are no good for tapering my friend, at least not ime. You want the -pams.
 
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