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May Getting/Staying Clean/Sober Thread vs April Showers bring May Sobriety

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Probably... I'm just saying I'm done with drugs. They helped me get where I am, but I had to nearly die (probably worse) to get free. I can feel a REAL spiritual change that occured in one instant. If you go to truth c0ntest . c0m (its freaky how real it is, so I also wanna be careful with things like u r l links) its all in there... if you read ' the present ' which is a book on there i garauntee that any of you can achieve the results from you life that you want.

there is a difference between knowing the path and walking the path , but i promise to find how on my way
 
Sounds intense simco! Just the thought of withdrawal is keeping me clean. Don't you feel scared to use because of that aspect of opiate use?

yeah, absolutely. the thing in my case is that a couple months ago i was able to rack up over a month clean. before that my habit was all kinds of fucked up, but at least it wasn't big. so i dealt with WD when i kicked initially. since then, i've relapsed, then relapsed some more. but usually just one lapse at a time. so far none of the one-time falls has put me back into WD. i'm totally playing with fire though. you're right: don't want to deal with that shit again (literally!).
 
yeah, absolutely. the thing in my case is that a couple months ago i was able to rack up over a month clean. before that my habit was all kinds of fucked up, but at least it wasn't big. so i dealt with WD when i kicked initially. since then, i've relapsed, then relapsed some more. but usually just one lapse at a time. so far none of the one-time falls has put me back into WD. i'm totally playing with fire though. you're right: don't want to deal with that shit again (literally!).
That's lucky! I am hyper aware of the shift in my chemistry the days after a one time sesh, and have given up trying to chip, not even an extra 15 mg oral morph for about a month now. It's nice when my strength comes back, I feel like a jungle animal on my little night time jogging sessions :)
 
This month has went really well for me. Allot of big changes and I delt with them well. Just need to keep plugging away like I have and remember that patience is a good thing to promote.

I hope you all are doing great as well.
 
This month ends.... and I complete 100% my goals.

31 days sober, WOW..... this sounds good.

Guys...see you in June Sober thread. :) keep going!!!
 
day 11 for me!! 4 days off Suboxone. don't feel too horrible, but I have been taking mushrooms.

I know some people say "oh psychedelics and withdrawals, hahaha you're so dumb, good luck with that bad trip you're about to have!!" but I've actually found the complete opposite to be true. last night was incredibly healing for me. it was my best and most spiritual trip by far. like it was crazy, I could see things -- EVERYTHING -- for exactly what it was. I saw how a mushroom trip is like a metaphor for life, you get caught in a loop sometimes and it's your own responsibility to get yourself out. I could see all the fake fronts people put on, I could tell when people were lying and making up stories to seem impressive or "cool", and I could tell when they were being genuine. At one point two of my friends were talking shit about my heroin addiction but using the metaphor of "oh we all have that one uncle that can't get their life together haha" and normally I would feel ashamed or guilty or something, but I knew EXACTLY what they were talking about and the mushrooms made me see things so clearly that I was NOT having it. I just straight up said, "Look you don't have to tiptoe around the issue. I'm a heroin addict. Shit happens, you both have your problems too. At least I'm doing something about mine. If you have something to say about the way I've lived my life, say it. I'm sitting RIGHT HERE." But it wasn't all being said in a mean way. It all had this undertone of unconditional love. Like, even though they were talking shit about my addiction, they would keep circling around to saying "oh but we love that uncle, and we just want them to be happy, and I really hope they leave behind a novel about their life cuz I bet they have some great stories to tell"... and when I said what I said it was more like I meant it in a way like, "I love you guys, I won't hate you if you have a problem with my addiction because I know I've hurt you both because of it, you can be honest with me without any judgement". you know? I just felt so much unconditional love going around and it was beautiful.

BUT I'm glad I did say it because even though it came out way harsher than I intended, I did feel the firmness was necessary. The people in my life need to know that I'm not going to put up with that kind of stuff any more. I'm not going to keep my addiction in the dark anymore. "When you shed light on the dark..." and all that. So it was actually a hugely profound moment for me, because a.) I am normally too ashamed to admit my addiction problems so openly and freely like that. And b.) something about owning my own truth and not being ashamed of where I've come from and who I am gave me a whole new level of respect for myself. And it made them respect me too, I could see it in their eyes. It's kind of a long story, but the friend I was doing them with is someone I knew from back in the day and even tho we were best friends, we also had a lot of bad blood and the friendship didn't end well. We recently reconnected, but never really talked through our issues, and while I've forgiven it all I could tell that she's been holding on to some of that old resentment. Last night completely melted all that away. I heard her talking to my brother about me while i was in the other room and they were both saying things like, "Dude, I didn't even know your sister could be this awesome!!" "I love her like this!!" "What happened to my sister?!"

I was like umm getting clean happened? lol. idk. It was just really cool to know that I've changed to a point that the people I care about most are noticing it too. It made me feel really good and now that girl and I are back to our best friends status, which is nice. I've always loved her, despite our differences, and I've known her a long time so it always bugged me that things left off so badly with us.

I'm just so happy I got clean and that my relationships with others are starting to heal. I have a long way to go, and a lot of amends to make, but I'm making real progress <3
 
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I remember when I had 4 days off suboxone most recently. It was November 1, 2014. I was SO MISERABLE.

I was suicidal, deeply depressed. My thoughts were entirely centered on self hatred and self destruction.

Congratulations on getting to your 4 days <3
 
Thank you!! I haven't had 11 days in over two years so I'm pretty stoked right now :) I'm thinking that I didn't take the Subs long enough, or that I was on such small doses of it that now that the heroin is all out of my system and THOSE withdrawals are done with, whatever withdrawals I'm feeling from the Suboxone are just so minimal that it's not really affecting me. I mean sure it's noticeable, but I can easily go about my normal every day life.

I'm sorry that this has been a bad week for you. I hope it gets better <3
 
And just like that May is in the books..

Congratulations and nice work to all who made positive progress against thier addictions or in thier lives. =D

freedom1.jpg



New thread is fired up here> June Getting/Staying Clean/Sober Thread vs It's Finally Beach Weather!
 
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