• HEALTH & RECOVERY
    Welcome Guest
    Posting Rules Bluelight Rules Thread Directory 1 Thread Directory 2
    Mindfulness Links Addiction & Mind
    Sober Living Partner Program (SLiPP)
  • H&R Moderators: VerbalTruist | cdin | Lil'LinaptkSix

17 weeks pregnant and detoxing off heroin

L

lidlily

Greenlighter
Joined
May 1, 2015
Messages
6
Hello, this is my first time posting. Ive read so many amazing stories and encouragement, which, i am in desperate need of right now. A little background about myself:

I am a 36 year old female. I was prescribed opiate pain meds at the age of 16 and quickly realized how much i loved them. It progressed into full addiction when i was about 19 and both my parents came down with cancer and there were oxys galore. When my parents died i was 23 And this was the first time i detoxed. I was put on subs for 2 yrs but abused them after only a few months, going back to the pills and only taking the subs when i couldn't get the pills.

A year later i met the love of my life. I was offered a job in tx which he decided to come with me to and i quit the subs/pills cold turkey. We spent a yr in tx and a yr at another job in the virgin islands. Those 2 years were the longest period off opiates.

Came home and immediately went back to the pills. This is getting really long so to speed it up 4 yrs ago i switched to heroin. I hid it and lied to my fiance for yrs till he caught me numerous times. He had always liked pills recreational recreationally, but, soon he just took tge attitude if you cant beat em join em. So much guilt there.

To the present, weve been using heroin together for 2 yrs. He overdosed twice and i nearly killed myself overdosing after we got clean this last January. We got clean last summer which only lasted a month and then again 3 months ago after my near fatal overdose. While we were clean this last January i got pregnant. I didn't know and we started using again.im now 17 weeks and havent been to a doctor. I did go to a confidential pregnancy clinic that confirmed everything looked good at 8 and a half weeks. I didnt want to get put on subutex or methadone and have the poor Child be born addicted bc of my horrible choices. So, we decided once i reached my 2nd trimester (2 weeks ago) that we would quit cold turkey again using the thomas recipe and additional vitamins. We started monday and i made it 40 hrs before going out and using. I. Used 2 days in A row, last fix last night. I am just so lost and confused right now. I am going for it again today and pray to have tge strength to make it.

Well, this has been long enough. Pls keep me in your thoughts.
 
I am so touched by your story. I am 35 and 10 weeks pregnant with my second child. My first child turns 3 soon. My story is very similar to yours. My first pregnancy I was on subutex. I was also concerned about my baby being born addicted and withdrawing after her first breaths and it killed me. I stayed at a low dose took it as directed and she was born in my eyes perfect with no withdrawls we went home in 2 days. It can be done. My worry for you is that withdrawal is so hard on a fetus. I had a separate addiction specialist, I know there are obgyn that are specialist in addiction and could give you even better advice than I could. Even if you only go for a talk with a doctor that knows about pregnancy and withdrawal. You will be in my thoughts.
 
Thanks for the,reply Mrs. Grey. We started on monday to detox and since ive caved 3 times bc withdrawals just got so bad. As ive mentioned ive detoxed cold turkey 7 or 8 times and theyve never been this bad. The 3 times i Caved were bc i have a fetal doppler and the babies heartbeat has always been consistently Between 145 and 150 and it started going up to the high 170's. I was able to get 3.5 subutex fom a gfriend and am hoping when the withdrawals kick back in really bad tomm i can take small pieces like they do at some detoxes. I just feel awful and wouldn't forgive myself if i end up killing the baby bc i didn't go to a doctor and get put on subutex. Its comforting to know that u were able to stay on a low dose and ur little girl didn't have any withdrawals. A gfriend of mine had a little girl 2 years ago and was on subutex(i. Dont think a low dose) and she continued to use h on and off but she definitely went through a lot of pain bc she cried for a str8 month. My gfriend said it was caulik(spelling) but i know that was just her guilt and denial. I just dont know what to do at this point. Thanks for listening and congratulations on your second lil one on the way. And sry it took me so long to reapond. I couldn't figure out where to find responses so i literally just read yours. Thanks a lot
 
Hey lidlily
I am a couple years older than you and was on a oxy script for over 10 years when I found out I was 7 months pregnant. We weren't trying and were completely shocked when we found out. An appointment was set up at the local hospital in the neo natal unit. The head doctor had a private meeting with me to go over what I should expect when the baby is born. It was awful I was told not to expect to bring him home right away as he would need to be stabilized meaning they would be giving him low doses of narcotics to ween him. Then he showed me a video of a baby born addicted to oxy. I left so upset. Thank The Lord my baby was born healthy with no withdrawal and took him home the next day. PLEASE go to a doctor I know it will suck coming clean with them but it's really important that you do. Keeping you and your baby in my prayers.
 
Very glad to hear you have decided to see a doctor. I did stay low and she was fine. I did have second thoughts about the subutex at around 7 months pregnant. This is the reason I felt so pushed to respond to you. At seven months I had the idea if I get off sub's now at a low dose I will lower the chance of her withdrawing. Before I did so, I went to another specialist, a Neonatologist. He was a doctor many miles away from my home in a huge city. He said he had seen it all in his line of work. He also told me that fetal death can occur any time during pregnancy from withdrawal. Which scared me and why I am sharing this with you. I don't want to scare you. If I can stay low you can too. You will have a wonderful baby and in the process the game changes and I know it will for you as well.
 
To both ladies who responded, i want to sincerely thank you for reaching out and sharing. I wanted to update you that i went to my now obgyn a week ago. I hadn't mentioned before i have been prescribed opiates since the age of 16. My primary has me up to 6 30 milligram oxycodone a day. As you know i had been using heroin for roughly 4 years and tried to quit cold turkey and couldn't. We were selling my meds to support the h habir.My plan was to wait to go to a doctor till after i was clean, but, it wasn't happening. So, i went back to my prescribed dose of meds and went to the doctor. I was still not comfortable telling them i am a heroin addict. I first saww a reg obgyn and told her about the meds and how id like to be put on subutex. Bc the reality is I can't handle the meds. I know they will lead right back to me taking more n more of them and then possibly h, which, i am determined to never touch again. The obgyn told me last week to stay on the meds until i see the maternal fetal medicine specialist today and discuss switching with her. If for some reason she decides to not want to switch me i will tell her i need to be switched bc i feel "hooked" on them and enjoy the feeling. Telling her I'm an addict without really admitting it. Regardless, bc when i went in i was already 18 + 2 weeks they did the anatomy scan and we found out he is a boy. Everything measured right on track and they said he seems perfectly healthy. Yay! I go today to see the specialist and have another ultrasound bc he wouldnt cooperate to get a good View of his spine. Also bc i am 36 we will be having the radiologist reviewing everything with us. It is such a relief to have gone to the doctor. Thank you both again!
 
Hey lidlily
Thank you for the update. I'm so happy for you !! A boy yay !! Be as honest as you can with the doctors so they can have specialists on hand at delivery just in case he has trouble breathing. Better safe than sorry. Take care of yourself mama :)
 
I hope you are still doing well Lidlilly and that your bub is happy and healthy. Your post had the tears welling up. You're in my thoughts, take care.
 
Glad to hear you both are doing well. Please keep us updated. I have a good feeling that everything is going to work out great for you and baby BOY! I just had the harmony test done. Praying for a healthy baby. We will find out the sex along with checking for any chromosomal abnormalities. We should have the results in two weeks. Best wishes...
 
SKR, Thank you. 20 weeks 4 days today and we are both doing great! Feeling him move and kick all the time now. Maternal fetal specialist has me staying on my,prescribed oxycodone(which I've done), but, as i was persistent about getting more info on switching to subutex, he has referred me to Boston medical centers addiction center. Waiting for tgem to call. Thanks for your support! !
 
Hello Mrs. Grey, i again want to thank you. It was Your post and my gut that got me to the doctor and not continuing with trying to self detox. Do feel so much better being taken care of by doctors and not doing the h anymore. U Can read my response to skr. The mfs has me staying on my memeds, which, ive done, but has referred me to the addiction specialist in Boston bc i want to pursue subutex.

How far along are you? I will have you in my thoughts. I got the results back from my harmony test(all normal thankk god), but, know how sstressful the wait is. I really really hope you get the same results! Pls keep me updated. And fun u will soon know the sex!! Again, keep me updated. Thx again for everything!!!
 
And update, things went great with the maternal fetal specialist. Us looked perfectly normal showing no abnormalities! Also, the doctor was very kind and understanding about addiction. He himself struggles with food. He did tell me oxycodone or subutex lil guy will have withdrawals but that their hospital deals,with it all the time and will keep him comfortable. I have horrible guilt about this. Thats why im pushing to see the addiction specialist and subutex. I know i can get lower on the subutex than my oxycodone prescription, which, i really cant get lower on. I was already doing way stronger stuff and,more and just staying at my prescribed dose right now is not comfortable, but, i am not sick and just thinking about my lil guy. Its way more real now that he,is making himself,known in there. :)
 
Hi, so glad for your update. I am 13 almost 14 weeks. Still haven't gotten my results yet. I have to say that I am a worrier and this test has brought it out in me. Not that the results would change anything, just would be heart breaking for my child if something came back irregular. So hoping for good results. When I had my first this test wasn't available so finding out this early, the baby's sex, is awesome though. I am so happy to hear you have pursued the addiction specialist. I think once you feel better and are stable with a dose, things start looking better and you see things in new light. I know when I was actively persuing getting high, it was like a full time job. Finding stuff, worried about running out and being sick. That life is for the birds. If you decide to stay on maintenance therapy or later decide to go completely sober. Life has a lot to offer, good things that we miss out on when we are active and using. I think you are making some great strides and I am very proud of you!
 
So i am 23 weeks and 5 days, giving birth to a beautiful baby boy Feb 22,2017. Ive been off and on heroin during my pregnancy. I have never injected it, but i smoked it up to 3 times a day and very occasionally did a line for a over month. At the most ive done 3 or 4 small lines during the period of my pregnancy drug abuse. I stopped about a week ago because the guilt was really eating me alive knowing that I was ruining the babys chance away at being healthy. Knowing how terrible of mother i am already for putting this loving child in this kind of ordeal. Ive been taking less than a mg of suboxone each day (not prescribed), and i need to know... what the hell do i do? How long Do i keep taking this amount of suboxone? Will someone please share with me their experience of this similarity? Im freaking out and i dont want my precious gift to experience withdrawals and be taken away from me. I live in Georgia and i dont know what the laws or regulations are here so im hesitating on telling my doctor because definitely know i should. I just want to know what im walking myself into. I need advice. Anything helps
 
^^^^^^^^^missnikkimay^^^^^^^^^
I'm sad to see no one responded to u back in 2016.
I also was into a bad opiate addiction when I got pregnant at age 39 and I didn't know I was pregnant til I was 31 weeks into it.
I would have responded to ur post if I had seen it back when u wrote it.
I'm hoping u have a beautiful healthy 1 year old right now.
And I hope u r feeling better and have ur addiction under control.
If not ... I'm always here to talk.
If ur good, I'd like to know also.
-hugz-

*Anza*
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top