Bupe Some reflections from a 4yr Poppy Seed Tea addict and Suboxone Induction

[ArtVandalay]

I forget where I orignally found out about seed tea. Erowid maybe? There was an article in the sac news and review called confessions of an e-bay opiate addict (something like that, you can google it, find it online). He talked about buying pods on e-bay and how he got addicted. That was the start of my pod tea problem.

 

[ArtVandalay]

I still think about stimulants. But I'm in NA, have a sponsor, all my friends, gf, family know about my recovery, so I'm not gonna mess with drugs anymore. I did relapse a few times early in sub treatment (benzos, meth, adderall). It's been a couple years since then. I'm slowly tapering now and things are great.

 

[ArtVandalay]

If you're talking to me... bupe seems a bit extreme for only being on PST I don't think I could go to a doctor about this. I've heard getting off bupe is really hard. I've gotten off PST hundreds of times. heh

My suboxone clinic hadn't heard of poppy seed or pod tea. But it was obvious I was in withdrawal and they believed me. Maybe bupe is extreme for you. For me, my addiction was out of control. And actually I had a huge tolerance just from pod tea. I preffered it to heroin. It took like 40mg of methadone or 80mg oxy to feel well when I was in pod tea wd.

 

[silverfucked]

My suboxone clinic hadn't heard of poppy seed or pod tea. But it was obvious I was in withdrawal and they believed me. Maybe bupe is extreme for you. For me, my addiction was out of control. And actually I had a huge tolerance just from pod tea. I preffered it to heroin. It took like 40mg of methadone or 80mg oxy to feel well when I was in pod tea wd.

Yeah, when they asked I just told them I wass taking 300mg of extended release morphine everyday, and abusing short-acting opiates on top...

 

[silverfucked]

Oh nice..I was in the program for years(those aformentioned)..I dropped out basically cuz I wanted to drink, but also for some more validish reasons..Debating on going back.

 

[Kaldius]

Hello I'm going through something simular but I've been using seed tea for the past 4 months or so on a daily basis anywhere from 1-3lbs and only recently realized how addicted I really am when I stopped for about 3 days following heavy use along side hydrocodone where I couldn't sleep for 3 days while high and then I slept about 2 days and the next day I didnt use any tea and on that 3rd night I started getting horrible anxiety and my blood pressure was through the roof, I took a benzo and went to sleep and when I woke up this is the 4th day now in the morning I was in full on withdrawl with RLS, terrible pain in the legs, diarhea, and most of all extreme depression and anxiety (probably magnified for me because its the main reason I use drugs).

So I went to buy some more seeds to get better and think what my next course of action would be and I decided I can't take the withdrawl CT so I would seek Suboxone replacement therapy, especially now I need stability in my life as I'm going through some big changes in my life and a loss of a loved one which is making this all much worse. Plus earlier in the year about the time I started on opiates I dropped a 8 year alcohol and about 12 year near daily marijuana habit and the wounds from that are coming to the surface I think and adding to my overall bad feeling.

I have an appointment tomorrow at the Suboxone clinic at which point I will be 33 hours after my last poppy seed dose but I'm not sure if it will be enough. I'm feeling pretty bad but its not full blown yet with leg pain and other things, just mostly mental right now and a general feeling of malaise.

I hope they accept me tomorrow and give me a dose, should I tell them I have been using poppy seed tea daily or is it better to say morphine extended release tablets in case they arnt familiar with the seed tea and how potent it is or I don't look like I'm in 100% withdrawals yet but I probably will be by the next morning after tomorrow.

 

[silverfucked]

You'll be fine..your first 48 hours you are gonna feel off, zombieish, but not in discomfort..then it'll all get better

 

[silverfucked]

I also realise I probably should be saying, you've only been on for four months, just quit..but I have enough experience to realise that you aren't gonna stop digging this whole..at least if you get on bupe, you'll be on a mixed agonist, and get your life back sooner than I, who tool an extra three years to figure it out...

Way easier to taper off bupe than a full agonist.. I've reduced my bupe intake by 75% since my induction..every time I tried to reduce with PST, somehohow I ended up using more

 

[silverfucked]

Don't be confused.. After your first week of bupe you will be coldly confronted with whatever underlying issues you were using opiates for in the first place..if you want to live your life high then bupe is not the way..if you want a ticket out, bupe is the bus pass..

Just realise that all that anxiety and depression is gonna come back and you won't be able to get high..St which point you can choose to cope with it and move on, or resume being a junky and lose another de ade of your life.

 

[silverfucked]

I should prob post my current status..bupe saved me from a sure path to getting arrested or at least a shit life...I'm now in the best shape of my life..I'm eating healthy..I quit smoking cigarettes..my relationship with my gf is an all time..

It's all taken work..


That's cuz I was getting high on opiates to mask some kind of underlying emotional pain..
That pain rears its ugly head as soon as the bupe stops giving you a buzz...bit at least you aren't in withdrawals, so you can deal with it like a sane person..

I've now moved into a chapter of my life where my life with bupe resembles a normal person's.. I just have to figure out how to get to that point without bupe... I think the key is in s ridiculously slow taper...I went from 2mg a day induction to stabilizing at eight currnetly..any less and the mental symptoms get real strong... I'll probably slowly taper to zero mg over two years..any less and I'm kidding myself..I'm talking a mg a month..

But if that results in an opiate free life that feels as good as as a bupe maintained life now, then it was totally worth it..

So far it's been totally worth it..get on and focus on getting better. Start exercising..eat better..start talking.. Before long it feels no different from those people taking Zoloft every am

 

[silverfucked]

There's a lot of shit talk about bupe on the internet.. If you need it to dig you out of the shithole you made for yourself then don't listen..I'm five months in, and it has its drawbacks, but its a life, social life/ money/ saver..

 

[johnloperamide]

That's cuz I was getting high on opiates to mask some kind of underlying emotional pain..
That pain rears its ugly head as soon as the bupe stops giving you a buzz...bit at least you aren't in withdrawals, so you can deal with it like a sane person..

But if that results in an opiate free life that feels as good as as a bupe maintained life now, then it was totally worth it..

Ok I'm a lil confused... Do you actually get high of this bupe? or do you just feel normal and not crave the high? like do you get the warmth, the euphoria?

Also, what you said about the pain coming back as soon as bupe wears off.. just throwing a question out there... is that pain real? or is it only a cause of your addiction? Maybe you have no underlying pain you are hiding, if it comes back that fast then it is because of the addiction.. if you were clean for real, for a while probably in your case, your brain would go back to normal and you would not feel that pain anymore...


Also, I found your story very interesting and helpful, I've been messing around with PST for a 2-3 months now.. I have "quit" 22 days ago, but never fully.. off the first 10 days in which WD's were almost but not completely over... used 1 day, went through some more WD's, waited 7 days and used again, then 3 days and used again and it's now been 3 days again and I will use Tuesday, but this time I bought enough to use 3-4 days instead of just 1 like before... So I never fully quit, and I see myself going back to the way I was before so I know I have to completely stop... Reading your story helped me, and I know I need to stop.. Those seeds are the fucking devil, I've had my fun with them and should stop...

I feel like such an idiot though.. I mean, I still have about 34 hours till I get them delivered and I can still choose not to use them, to stay clean and avoid WD and addiction and get on with my life but for some fucking reason once I've ordered them I have established that I will get high and feel good and nothing is changing that.. I mean, WTF is wrong with me?!!! I'm scared 3-4 of use could trigger some mild WD's and I'm risking that pain over getting high, I am such a fucking idiot and I know it and yet I will use them anyway... I'm off work Tuesday, Thursday and Friday so I intend to use then but I have enough to use a smaller amount Wednesday too so I already know I fucking will.. Those 4 days in a row will surely trigger some WD's and I'm scared about something I have complete control over!!!!!!!!! WTF!.. Hate myself

 

[Kaldius]

Don't be confused.. After your first week of bupe you will be coldly confronted with whatever underlying issues you were using opiates for in the first place..if you want to live your life high then bupe is not the way..if you want a ticket out, bupe is the bus pass..

Just realise that all that anxiety and depression is gonna come back and you won't be able to get high..St which point you can choose to cope with it and move on, or resume being a junky and lose another de ade of your life.

Well I'm hoping for a permanent recovery and to be able to face my issues and feel good without any drugs including Suboxone, just want too use it now to stabilize and then taper off as quickly as possible. I will make this clear to the doctor that I see today, appointment is in less than 4 hours couldnt get a wink of sleep.

 

[silverfucked]

Yeah I was bit drunk when I typed all that.. My point was, that you aren't gonna be walking through life feeling like you are permanently on oxy when on bupe..

It's more like an antidepressant that suppresses withdrawals and cravings..

The first month was almost a spiritual experience however, for the first time, I was free to pursue and live my life as I wanted. I don't have to worry about relapse because it won't work..and honestly from day one, I haven't thought about doing another opiate.

I would like to be on for a year, during which I taper a mg a month till I hit two..then a half mg a month..

 

[Kaldius]

Well I was induced this morning @ 4mg with 2x 4mg take homes to take when i get home and prescribed 8mg for every next day observed in pharmacy, that 4mg set me straight and I did feel like I was walking around high after it in a very nice way, is this going to last or is it because 4mg was probably too big a dose and 2mg would have been fine? Anyway will report when I have a few more days experience but I'm very satisfied I instantly was cured of PST withdrawals!

Question though, say I wanna be taking 4mg instead of 8mg how can I get away with it if I'm being observed? I would have to put the pill in my mouth then take it out after I walk away and cut it in half being careful not to get it too wet? How easily do they really dissolve?

 

[Kaldius]

I'm on my fourth day now of 8mg suboxone and it's pretty much stabilized and I feel pretty good all the time not high but how I imagine a sober person feels it's hard to say since I've never been completely sober like this my entire adult life (no alcohol, weed or anything at all except the sub).

I could probably go on forever like this if everything stays the same, still working on my underlying depression and anxiety issues though which are there but not as distressing.

 

[BlissOpiateLass]

Good to hear someone else had PST experiences!
A longtime opiate addict I desperately searched online for substitutions to buy online when I didn't have connections.
Easily and cheaply ordered online and made in 20 min.
You def had good experience with it. Thanks for sharing your differen experiences.
I didn't get a euphoric high; calm relaxed feeling.
Best thing though, I quit methadone COLD-TURKEY! from 80mg to nothing. No taper..No W/D so I believe it works. But like the knowledgeable people(i am not) shared it is different for everyone.
Two addict friends thought a waste of time. I would think worth trying as generally won't make you sick or side effects or much chance of O/D..in moderation of course.

Are you still continuing now that you are stabilized?

Good Luck!
Bliss8)

 

[mahi]

If you're talking to me... bupe seems a bit extreme for only being on PST I don't think I could go to a doctor about this. I've heard getting off bupe is really hard. I've gotten off PST hundreds of times. heh

How do you quit something hundreds of times? Like I quit working my job, a hundred times...lol.

 

[mahi]

16 mg - 12 mg even 8 mg of Sub is a huge daily amount. Crazy. A friend was down to 2mg a day, no problems. He had to find a legit source and got in a program. They required him to start at 16 mg a day. They should be arrested. 1 mg of Sub has the equivalency of about 30-40 mg of morphine. Now people need over 500 mg of morphine to stave off withdrawals? Lot of head work involved in that.

 

[Poppy Girl]

Thank you for this post. Been looking all over for someone who has used subs to kick poppy seed tea. Most people think it's a joke. I've been on the vile, putrid stuff for 3yrs. I'm currently at 2lbs per day to maintain. Silver... I know all too well what you mean by using and being in WDs at the same time. I wake up every morning that way. Sweats, chills and anxiety are always first for me. Kaldius.... Your posts help too. I just started learning about subs last week. I was losing hope until then. How do I find a decent sub doc? Will I be treated like a low life criminal? I'm terrified. I've been spending $300 - $400 a month on seeds so I figure I have that much to spend on treatment. Will it be enough? I don't want to use my insurance since it's through my husband's employer....the us army. I'm really concerned about getting the induction right and avoiding precipitated wds. Kaldius...was 36 hrs right for you? I know about reaching a 26 on the COWS, but I need to time it correctly in order to make the appointment and get off work. I also feel like I need a set plan before wds start. Should I do a fast taper first? Or just quit at 36 hours prior? Silver.... You are so right about slowly wading into that withdrawl pool from PST. Its almost scarier than having it hit all at once. I know that by the time I'm 12 - 24 hours off of the stuff my judgment is going to really start to suck so I want to be clear about what I need to do. Can I take a benzo or smoke weed during those 36-48 hours prior to induction? Guys. Please help. I'm so scared. No one knows. Not even my husband. I feel so trapped. I don't care about feeling high anymore. I just want to feel normal and stop doing this to myself. Please tell me theres hope here.