not a cry for help

[pillman1224]

alright here is the deal i got off of zoloft and i am currently taking 1mg klon and 2mg at night for sleep. well that is what my doc prescribed with the help of the art of scripting i went to my shrink faking panic attacks got .5 ativan then 1mg then 2mg. finally he switched me to klonopin and one peach of xanax a day as needed. seeing as how i wanted the pills to get high and 6mgs of klon wansnt i went to him yesterday to try to get valium prescribed but he wouldnt give it to me. too sleep all i need is .3mgs of clonidine snorted and 50mg trazadone. I am Honestly considering ending it all because i didnt get the valium. i am 18 and have a bearded dragon and ball python that need my care. the only thing keeping me from ending it is my mom and how she would react seeing as i am her only child. any suggestions on getting my xanax dose upped, getting switched to valium or should i just end it all. this is not a pitty party i am really considering suicide. one more question why the fuck is 6mg of klon not getting me high i dont have that much of a benzo tolerance and 7mg ativan fucks me up and so does 4 peaches of xanax. so again WHY THE FUCK IS 6mg klon not getting me blasted ive tried the mylan which was basically a sugar pill activis which was ok and teva which is so far the best but no where near the buzz i was expecting.

 

[Colonel Contin]

Consider yourself lucky your doctor didn't smell a rat when you came in faking your previous symptoms and pray he doesn't cut you off for exhibiting what must read as incredibly suspicious, drug-seeking behavior. Nobody here is going to help you scam your doc, sorry.

Don't kill yourself over which benzos your doctor is willing to give you. Even if you find a way to get switched over to Valium you're not going to be satisfied, trust me. Plus, your poor mother would spend the rest of her life trying to figure out your reasoning.

You should start a thread aimed at discussing your real problems. This one is probably going to be closed soon.

 

[jammin83]

Yeah man, benzos are real trouble. Get off the train why you can. Much more effective ways to catch a buzz without the dependency involved. The worst 5 years of my life I was addicted to benzos. Oh, and the withdrawal, you will want to really kill yourself.

 

[Ringo88]

Trust me, you don't want to play around with benzos. Valium is actually a much weaker benzodiazepine than Klonopin or Xanax, it's not going to get you more "high". I've taken benzos daily for about 2 and a half years, and I'm on Valium trying to get off, simply because it has a long half life. It's pure hell. Pure fucking hell.

I barely even feel normal when I take my dose, I get no sense of anxiety going away anymore, and sure as hell don't get high. It's the worst possible feeling I've ever experienced in my life. Trust me man, fuck the benzos, especially since you don't need them. Life is worth so much more than any pill.

 

[T. Calderone]

It's probably for the best that the doctor didn't give you the valium. If you already are unsatisfied with clonazepam, ativan and Xanax, valium likely isn't going to do much for you. We can't advise you what to say to your doctor but you need to try not to get too attached to these pills. You don't want to end up addicted to benzos, it's a hellish road to go down.

 

[pillman1224]

Thana for tbe support everyone I didn't suicide isn't the best soli to on just alcohol on the week ends and kpins and xanax and the week days o figured u am 18 and am considering suicidem I haven't even lI've 1/4 of my life yet. In all honesty though why the fuck wouldn't a doc switch me from klons to valium

 

[Colonel Contin]

Valium carries an odd stigma with some doctors. Possibly because it's the old fallback for housewives that like to get fucked up all day. I think it may carry a media representation of being more recreational/less medicinal than kpin. I do like the way valium feels, but unless your dose is high it's generally pretty mild. The kpin/xanax combo will probably pack more of a punch anyhow.

Good call on the suicide. You've got a whole lot of time to look for solutions to your problems. The thought crosses my mind on occasion when I feel like I've run out of solutions, but when I try really hard to think the process through I can never stomach the part where I actually bite the dust. Try and push back against those urges, there are generally more reasons not to do it than you might initially think (especially when it boils down to not getting your way at the doctor's office... I would have killed myself hundreds of times by now if I put a pistol to my head every time a doctor pissed me off - they act like fucking idiots sometimes).

 

[pillman1224]

the problem is that I have over 120 kpins 1mg that do nothing to me. But if i eat 7 ativan or 4 Xanax 1mg on the ativan .5 on the Xanax i am high as fuck. i just want to know why kpins aren't getting me fucked up

 

[pillman1224]

Consider yourself lucky your doctor didn't smell a rat when you came in faking your previous symptoms and pray he doesn't cut you off for exhibiting what must read as incredibly suspicious, drug-seeking behavior. Nobody here is going to help you scam your doc, sorry.

Don't kill yourself over which benzos your doctor is willing to give you. Even if you find a way to get switched over to Valium you're not going to be satisfied, trust me. Plus, your poor mother would spend the rest of her life trying to figure out your reasoning.

You should start a thread aimed at discussing your real problems. This one is probably going to be closed soon.

oh trust me i would write a note

 

[pillman1224]

no the ativan and xanax get me high. problem is i have 30mg ativan left no fills and 44 Xanax .5 with one refill i am using my xanax conservatively. i just heard from some forums on bdd that Valium is more euphoric thank klonopin

 

[pillman1224]

no the ativan and xanax get me high. problem is i have 30mg ativan left no fills and 44 Xanax .5 with one refill i am using my xanax conservatively. i just heard from some forums on bdd that Valium is more euphoric than klonopin

 

[pillman1224]

Consider yourself lucky your doctor didn't smell a rat when you came in faking your previous symptoms and pray he doesn't cut you off for exhibiting what must read as incredibly suspicious, drug-seeking behavior. Nobody here is going to help you scam your doc, sorry.

Don't kill yourself over which benzos your doctor is willing to give you. Even if you find a way to get switched over to Valium you're not going to be satisfied, trust me. Plus, your poor mother would spend the rest of her life trying to figure out your reasoning.

You should start a thread aimed at discussing your real problems. This one is probably going to be closed soon.

my real problem is I wanna be able to get high during the week and 6MG klonopin isnt doing it and i wanna know why

 

[Ringo88]

Klonopin seems to be the benzo that people either love or hate. Trust me though man, no matter what benzo you take, you will never get that feeling of being anxiety free that you once did when you first started taking it. You build tolerance, fast. I would be very careful, as it sounds like your mixing a bunch of different benzos.

Once you become dependent, it's hell getting off. Valium won't do shit to you if your used to xanax, ativan and klonopin. It's very mild, and really only used for tapering off benzos because of its long half life. Keep in mind, long half life doesn't mean length of effect. Valium only lasts about 4 hours, at least the actual duration of effect, but because it breaks down and has active metabolites, it stays in your system a long ass time, thus staving off withdraw.

As I said before, xanax, ativan and klonopin are much, much more potent benzos than Valium. Valium just has a stigma because it was one of the first of it's kind, along with Librium.

Just be safe buddy. Your so young. I'm 27, and if I had a chance to be your age again, I wouldn't dream of touching benzodiazepines. They change the way your mind works, and take you down a path you don't want to go down. Best wishes pal.

 

[pillman1224]

Klonopin seems to be the benzo that people either love or hate. Trust me though man, no matter what benzo you take, you will never get that feeling of being anxiety free that you once did when you first started taking it. You build tolerance, fast. I would be very careful, as it sounds like your mixing a bunch of different benzos.

Once you become dependent, it's hell getting off. Valium won't do shit to you if your used to xanax, ativan and klonopin. It's very mild, and really only used for tapering off benzos because of its long half life. Keep in mind, long half life doesn't mean length of effect. Valium only lasts about 4 hours, at least the actual duration of effect, but because it breaks down and has active metabolites, it stays in your system a long ass time, thus staving off withdraw.

As I said before, xanax, ativan and klonopin are much, much more potent benzos than Valium. Valium just has a stigma because it was one of the first of it's kind, along with Librium.

Just be safe buddy. Your so young. I'm 27, and if I had a chance to be your age again, I wouldn't dream of touching benzodiazepines. They change the way your mind works, and take you down a path you don't want to go down. Best wishes pal.

thanks for the kind words i am gonna get me doc to just give me short acting benzos since the klon ain't shit and the valium is out of my reach. my goal for me is to get on 1mg xanax 3x a day or 2mg ativan 3x a day because it has a longer duration of effects. i am using them to get fucked up of course but that is not on a daily basis that way i keep tolerance down.

 

[Colonel Contin]

Your best bet to get 'fucked up' is taking the xanax periodically. It is potent and fast acting. Tolerance builds fast so you wont be getting 'fucked up' for long if you do this on a regular basis.

What seems most likely if you drop the clonazepam and get alprozolam 1mg 3x daily: You'll start taking 2-3 mg every couple days to get 'fucked up', your tolerance will climb so you'll start taking 3-5mg every couple of days, you'll start feeling incredibly anxious on your days off and need to start taking xanax daily, you'll run out and have to ask for a larger prescription, if you get it you'll start taking more and more daily until you are just getting by, you won't be getting 'fucked up' anymore - just maintaining, at this point you'll have a benzo addiction that you can't shake and you'll feel like the world is caving in around you, your doctor will refuse to give you extra medication and you'll feel like shit all the time, you'll come back to bluelight and make a new thread "my experience with benzo addiction vs. they all told me but I wouldn't listen". At that point, you'll probably have misplaced your ball python and accidentally left the bearded dragon's cage open allowing it to escape. Your blackouts and irritability will have compromised your relationship with your mother and you'll have nobody to turn to. If existence seems futile now, imagine how you'll feel then. Tread carefully my friend.

I had a prescription to xanax for a long time and I never became dependent, but I used them very sparingly. I will admit that it was quite nice to have them around when I just couldn't relax. That said, I don't blame anybody for wanting a benzo prescription, but if you use them to get 'fucked up' all the time you're asking for trouble. A lot of people who lie to their doctors for benzos pick up their prescriptions and go get fucked up with their friends for a few days. I'm not encouraging you to hand out your medication, but if you're only using them for a few days a month and then cooling off until you get your next script, you might be able to keep it up for a while. Seriously though, I think you're more likely to have the experience detailed in the paragraph above ^.

 

[pillman1224]

Valium carries an odd stigma with some doctors. Possibly because it's the old fallback for housewives that like to get fucked up all day. I think it may carry a media representation of being more recreational/less medicinal than kpin. I do like the way valium feels, but unless your dose is high it's generally pretty mild. The kpin/xanax combo will probably pack more of a punch anyhow.

Good call on the suicide. You've got a whole lot of time to look for solutions to your problems. The thought crosses my mind on occasion when I feel like I've run out of solutions, but when I try really hard to think the process through I can never stomach the part where I actually bite the dust. Try and push back against those urges, there are generally more reasons not to do it than you might initially think (especially when it boils down to not getting your way at the doctor's office... I would have killed myself hundreds of times by now if I put a pistol to my head every time a doctor pissed me off - they act like fucking idiots sometimes).[/QUOTE
it really does suck when you know more about dosages of benzos than the shrink does. i know i am not smarter than them but a shrink only giving me a peach a day for breakthrough panic is ridiculous. should have been at least 2-3 peaches or a football. I know its not the same thing but me buddy who is a chronic pain sufferer gets 2 mscontin and 6 30mg oxyirs for breakthrough pain. not very relevant but i just wanted to add that.

 

[Colonel Contin]

*sigh. That's because chronic pain is chronic. It is treated on a 24 hour timeline. You may claim to have 'chronic anxiety' which is treated on a 24 hour timeline - that's what your kpin is for. You can't really claim to have 'chronic panic'. Generally panic attacks are sporadic and are medicated on a 'once daily' basis. Besides, your issues are all fabricated anyhow, so I don't know what you're complaining about.

 

[pillman1224]

Your best bet to get 'fucked up' is taking the xanax periodically. It is potent and fast acting. Tolerance builds fast so you wont be getting 'fucked up' for long if you do this on a regular basis.

What seems most likely if you drop the clonazepam and get alprozolam 1mg 3x daily: You'll start taking 2-3 mg every couple days to get 'fucked up', your tolerance will climb so you'll start taking 3-5mg every couple of days, you'll start feeling incredibly anxious on your days off and need to start taking xanax daily, you'll run out and have to ask for a larger prescription, if you get it you'll start taking more and more daily until you are just getting by, you won't be getting 'fucked up' anymore - just maintaining, at this point you'll have a benzo addiction that you can't shake and you'll feel like the world is caving in around you, your doctor will refuse to give you extra medication and you'll feel like shit all the time, you'll come back to bluelight and make a new thread "my experience with benzo addiction vs. they all told me but I wouldn't listen". At that point, you'll probably have misplaced your ball python and accidentally left the bearded dragon's cage open allowing it to escape. Your blackouts and irritability will have compromised your relationship with your mother and you'll have nobody to turn to. If existence seems futile now, imagine how you'll feel then. Tread carefully my friend.

I had a prescription to xanax for a long time and I never became dependent, but I used them very sparingly. I will admit that it was quite nice to have them around when I just couldn't relax. That said, I don't blame anybody for wanting a benzo prescription, but if you use them to get 'fucked up' all the time you're asking for trouble. A lot of people who lie to their doctors for benzos pick up their prescriptions and go get fucked up with their friends for a few days. I'm not encouraging you to hand out your medication, but if you're only using them for a few days a month and then cooling off until you get your next script, you might be able to keep it up for a while. Seriously though, I think you're more likely to have the experience detailed in the paragraph above ^.

yes but in that period of time i will be higher than a 747