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Psycedelic Delusion Megathread

M

MuskieLaertesFoly

Guest
Hi all,

The problem with this sort of thing is power of suggestion and set and setting. That's why i've posted it here in anon. This would do well over in MAPS etc, but it could fit other places better as well.



I was wondering if people could start to compile lists of delusions they've had under the influence. I think it would be best to organize it in some way. For example, how strong, how pertinent, was it an emergency, etc.

To start off I guess on speed its easy to feel like you're on a special purpose.
 
Once when having a bad acid trip I had the sensation of falling into a black hole/abyss and it didn't stop for what seemed like forever. Haven't touched LSD since then.
 
"Searchlight casting for thoughts in clouds of delusion. Shall we go, you and I while we can? Through the transitive nightfall of diamonds."


​(~);}
 
The problem with this sort of thing is power of suggestion and set and setting.

Yes. The first trip is always like an initially blank page of paper. One can try to correct damaging connections done afterwards but it's harder than to go the good route from the beginning. Prohibition is responsible for much of the lasting disorders from drug consumption ... and I believe it's much more subtle than just the obvious delusions some poor individuals are suffering from.

I'm not really into psychedelics, because they are too powerful and unpredictable for me to take them alone (and I have yet to meet the person who I'd trust enough to accept him/her as a trip sitter). But dissociatives can be equally strong. I remember one of my very early DXM trips (around 500mg I think) when I listened to a psytrance album I didn't really know.. there was an appealing, soft but powerful voice telling me to just lest drift, not to have any more anxiety ... I thought it was on the disc, but it wasn't! I've been and still am suffering from severe, mostly socially related anxiety, but have been flying on a bliss of euphoria for at least two or three weeks after that trip.

Just recently read that the dissociative experience and hypnosis have much in common. This is such a fucking powerful energy one can mess with.. I'm glad it didn't go wrong for me (suspect that other, less intense but still lasting trip experiences had negative impacts though) but it could easily have.
 
I've had a foot come out of the ceiling and kick me in the chest, I've seen myself screaming at myself from the mirror, I've seen my girlfriend telling me terrible things, objects lift up and spin around, a demon attack me (this was actually a cop tazzing me), and I've seen a giant geometric sphere that talked to me and tell me wonderful/terrible things about the meaning of existence. I've seen a lot more but that's what comes to mind now.
 
friend was an a park, believed himself to be "on the plane of infinity," a moment where all events originated and could be traced to. he was disappointed because there'd never be anything new
 
I saw an army of ancient Roman soldiers marching in the neighborhood I used to live in, saw my head split in half in the mirror, have had numerous conversations with images of people that appeared on my walls and floor, I saw an apartment building swaying as though it were blowing in the wind, once I was trying to go to sleep and I leaped out of my bed because it suddenly morphed into a pile of dicks, I saw my floor turn into a giant chessboard, I saw a weird three headed creature that was actually a pile of laundry, the list could go on and on as I've tripped quite a number of times. I'll say that I haven't really had that many delusions on classical psychs. Tons of crazy hallucinations but I always knew they weren't real, I have had a few really far out ideas that I believed at the time although I can't remember them all that well at the moment.
 
My great delusion, on acid....

Prologue
I met this guy at a music festival selling his wares. He lived close enough so a few months later a friend and I grabbed some acid.
Skip forward a month and I finally have the opportunity to try it ..
3 hits and its a Bummer. So I let him know. Turns out it was Thanksgiving, I had no other obligations and decided to try it... but it turns out I had forgot the day, oops ... and I used the wrong number... Double oops... He wasnt too Happy.

*cut scene*
Halloween night, a friend has invited me to a warehouse party.
Before heading down Im smoking with my other friend who grabbed and I told him how disappointed i was that mine was bunk. Try some of mine he says.. You wont be disappointed he says.. Im not sure why I doubted him, as we're usually on par. But given my 3 was lack luster I thought 4 and some K would be a nice colourful yet mellow buzz..
So we smoke a few bowls and chill before the party. This friends decides hes going to be a bummer and stays home.

*cut scene*
Warehouse party. I get in, eat my shit and settle into the more funky room (the other is dubstep - ick).
Oh man, buddy was right, this shit is better. I had to ditch my ghost costume (a sheet with eye holes in it.. classic i know right.. and glow sticks on my wrists and arms and glasses- i was a colourful ghost) because i wasnt able to see proper and it was tripping me out.
And then I see buddy who sold me the shit a few months back. Instant paranoia (why? Im not sure but I thought he would be mad - in all likelihood he forgot)

So Im tripping good. Now kinda paranoid. Ok time for a smoke and change of scenery to calm the nerves and right this trip before it derails.
Wrong... I cant find the smoking area. Ok just find an exit. Well damned if Im not met by a bouncer "This isnt an exit".. "Ah dude, aint that an exit sign".. "Ya but you cant get out here, go back to where you came in".......

So back through the dubstep room, passed the pissers (where I came in but it was really crowded and I wanted nothing to do with a crowd.. I just wanted a smoke and didnt realize i had come in there) and back into the other room where some groovy music was playing .. Ok just mellow, its all good. This will pass.

But its all I can think of. Try the other direction. Another exit sign, thank F***. But again im met by another bouncer giving me the same story. WTF. Now im really tripping. And I start spinning delusions. Well Im not allowed to leave at any exit, Im trapped. Why????

Then comes midnight and a net falls from the ceiling and I look up to see a bunch of hanging fish from the ceiling (they were actually there for deco) .. Its a sign (my last name is a type of fish). This whole thing is a set up. Thats why I cant leave. Buddy who sold me the shit is pissed because when I used the wrong number he got pinched. And now hes going to kill me. He and his friends who he sold to have set this whole thing up because theyre pissed too.

And this is where I completely lose the plot.

I try and leave again, explaining to the bouncer that I just want to go home. But hes not having it. So I go back out and accept that Im going to die here in some dingy warehouse all because I wanted some cheap thrills.. So I borrowed someones phone and called my old lady, told her I loved her and to say good bye to our daugther. (thankfully the music was so loud she didnt hear a word of it). And then I try and make peace with the fact that death is imminent. But I cant accept it- My trip goes from bad to worse and I start freaking out. Everything gets all dark (it was dark but I mean my visuals changed from colourful to dark and things started to close in on me almost like a panic attack) and my own thoughts turn against me. I can almost hear them, criticizing me for all the negative choices I had made recently, including coming here.

Forget that.
Im not just going to roll over and die. So I wait for the bouncer to leave his post at the exit sign. And then make a break for it. However he catches me and were wrestling. I eventually grab the handle, turn and pull. Im free... Nope im not in this tiny space with two doors- one to an office (which would explain why he was guarding the door, the other??). So we struggle some more (why he didnt just knock me out or over power me is beyond me - dude had like 6 inches on me and atleast 40 lbs - or maybe not I was fly as a kite, but he was definitely much larger than I) and I grab hold of the other knob. Turn it. Open the door and flee in terror.

Once outside I take off at a run and dont look back. I see a cab and come running up to his window out of breath and trying to explain (but thinking im insane ) he speeds away. But thankfully there is a busy street a few hundred meters up ahead. I keep up the pace and am finally there.

A bus.. There is a god! I jump on, without a shirt (I had taken it off when I realized I was going to die.. I figured getting stabbed would be less painful if I didnt have a shrit on - what! haha), trying to explain I had no money (or anything for that matter, I had ditched everything in my pockets - money, smokes k, that i didnt even get to / need - because I didnt want to give "them" the satisfaction of looting my dead body) but someone was chasing me and I needed to get away. "Yaya, just sit down" she says.

As Im riding the bus, cold, pupils like dimes. I start to mellow out and realize I was only high. Finally get back to buddies and we were able to laugh about it.

However this was such a traumatic experience the next few times I did acid and things got confusing my vision/visuals would start to go black and I could hear my thoughts again. However I was able to take a few breaths and calm down and things would return to normal.

Since the experience I have only done acid twice in public since - that was 3 years ago and they were both weird trips- and have no plans of doing it anytime soon. Its just too confusing for me in public at the doses I enjoy - hell even at home, but at least here I am in a setting where I can easily escape to another room and a change of scenery usually helps. Or at the very least I know Im safe and just tripping and can lay down and wait for the moment to pass.

tl;dr
setting played a huge roll in my delusions. as did an unexpected dose.
know your dose and be safe

TOC
 
I had a pretty severe delusion that occurred years ago when I was strung on DXM nearly every waking minute for a few months. I was absolutely convinced I was the next incarnation of Christ but humanity was destined to misinterpret me and believe I was the anti-christ; I was supposed to subvert the views of humanity therefore by behaving in morally promiscuous ways at the right moments so that it would set off a cascading effect that would cause everyone to come together to crucify me. I believed people would bear witness to the things I was acting out that were morally detestable to their sensibilities and it would somehow break down the barriers of failed discourse between humanity and everyone would unite to complete the final act, thereby ending all war and suffering and bringing peace to the world once and for all. I was fully convinced of this delusion for some time and accepted my destiny of losing my life for the benefit of humanity by basically being an antagonistic person lol

I quit believing it eventually and don't even remember the whole thought process behind it now, but at the time it took over my entire reality and it became my life purpose. It's pretty scary thinking back to how delusional I was back then. I look on the bright side of it and am grateful that it taught me to scrutinize things much more closely, it left some scars that will never fully heal though :\
 
Interesting. That's basically the same delusion written in the Talmud about the coming Moshiach ( Messiah)
 
My very first 25i NBOME trip I insufflated 1.5mg, had a great experience.
At one point I was in my room with people I was close with, with the perception of physically being in 3 situations at the same time/perceiving 3 different realities: in one I was in the real world, but driving my body like an avatar and, according to the people present, acting so normal they thought I was sober and lieing about being super-duper high for fun.
In another reality I was sitting on the edge of an infinitely tall tower, in deep space, relaxing and analyzing the other 2 realities while looking at solar system that wasn't our own.
Now in the 1st reality, the only serious hallucination present was a marble statue of a young girl of about 12/13 years of age, portrayed in a moment of anguish.
Ithis statue was on top of her grave, and in the third reality I was in the past circa 1850 somewhere in Europe, where she was alive, locked in a room at the top of a tower, in a round cell.
She had been locked in that place because she refused to respect social conventions, was sensitive to visions of the future and past and could read emotions and thoughts of people around her, and was also epileptic.
Her family thought she was possessed and/or insane and that is why they locked her away.
I was present to her as a vision, not physically, and she told me her story and that she was gonna kill herself and go live in the spirit world.
We agreed that that plane of existence (the times she was born) was inadequate for her, and that it was the best thing to escape from it causing the death of her physical body.
 
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