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April Getting/Staying Sober and/or Clean vs Not Fooling Around.

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I've been trying to draw and do art again.
I have a lot of talent that I never use. It's so hard to get motivation to do anything productive. I totally miss drawing, and I wanna get back into making my own clothes. I haven't busted out my sewing machine in forever! and I need more paint, all my paint is dried up and I've been too broke to buy more.

~Verri

I know how you feel

the last time I got clean, I wrote so much, and I have over 417,000 words right now

but the problem is I relapsed, then gave up writing as much as I was...then I got clean again, got in a serious relationship, AND got back into "daily activities" (volunteer work, school, actual paid work, etc.) so my days are SO BUSY NOW!! :|

Never give up your true passions though, they will get you through this <3
 
I've been trying to draw and do art again.
I have a lot of talent that I never use. It's so hard to get motivation to do anything productive. I totally miss drawing, and I wanna get back into making my own clothes. I haven't busted out my sewing machine in forever! and I need more paint, all my paint is dried up and I've been too broke to buy more.

~Verri

I'm sorry to hear you are lacking motivation. You are sober right? it takes a while but things will get back to normal.
Even better than normal.

I have quit opiates; this time I wanted to be able to "breeze by myself" so no more methadone.
It's been 48 days off and I just can't get back to normal, so I know the feeling. Difficult to wake up.

And, I started to have these vivid cravings. I know now that it lasts no more than 20-30 minutes each time.

However what's important is that soon you will start feeling better and each day will be a different challenge.
I have started to swim last week, I just went a couple of times but it helped immensely.

Still have a hard time to wake up though. This is just a phase and it will pass, just keep up! :)

Erik
 
I know how you feel

the last time I got clean, I wrote so much, and I have over 417,000 words right now

but the problem is I relapsed, then gave up writing as much as I was...then I got clean again, got in a serious relationship, AND got back into "daily activities" (volunteer work, school, actual paid work, etc.) so my days are SO BUSY NOW!! :|

Never give up your true passions though, they will get you through this <3

Thanks man, I never really should give up. I have dreams to travel the world selling clothes and art at Psytrance and other electronic music festivals... sounds like a feat, but it's possible. :3

I'm sorry to hear you are lacking motivation. You are sober right? it takes a while but things will get back to normal.
Even better than normal.

I have quit opiates; this time I wanted to be able to "breeze by myself" so no more methadone.
It's been 48 days off and I just can't get back to normal, so I know the feeling. Difficult to wake up.

And, I started to have these vivid cravings. I know now that it lasts no more than 20-30 minutes each time.

However what's important is that soon you will start feeling better and each day will be a different challenge.
I have started to swim last week, I just went a couple of times but it helped immensely.

Still have a hard time to wake up though. This is just a phase and it will pass, just keep up! :)

Erik

Yeah I've been clean for almost a month now and it's definitely hard to wake up lol. Especially since I just lost my job, the cravings are just worse now, being depressed sucks. I know it'll go away eventually but ugh, when? :/
Only time will tell.

~Verri
 
Happy Easter or Passover
smileys-easter-812527.gif
...talking about being addicted to all sorts of things...here is how I think a chocolate addict acts on Easter morning.
Also, if you don't observe either, please just have a happy day. Congrats to all who made it another, day, hour, or minute. I am pretty damn happy.... I just got my oxy refilled the end of the week... I usually have about 1/4 of them gone by the end of the week-end, and then am short the rest of the month. Because I am sticking to my slowwwww taper, I am way ahead of the game! Now, I just need to stay disciplined and focused on my written plan. Slow and steady wins this race. Oh, and to the BL'r who processed around using/vs not using for two hours, alone in an empty house... I can empathize. My kids are now out of the house... this morning was quiet, no Eater baskets or candy wrappers all over the house, nada. It would have been so easy to use outside my taper plan, but I got online and made it through, and then went for a 2.5 mile walk.
 
Thanks for the support everyone it is very much appreciated and most helpful
I'm having another day like yesterday home all alone bored as shit and was thinking bout coping all day
I really don't have any hobbies or things I can think of that I like to do to get my mind off something
I used to always blame being broke on why I can't do fun things but now I have money and still can't think.of what to.do.When bored
I did not use today but I really wanted to tomorrow I have work so I won't be home all day thinking bout getting high
That is why even tho I hate my job and get underpaid I'm scared to quit cuz this is what happens to me when home all day and nothing to do I obsess about getting high
Hopefully tomorrow will be better I will stay optimistic ;)
Papa- you're doing great I'm happy to see your positive updates
Same for you captain you are a inspiration
Itsok- it's bin a while since we've spoken I'm glad to see you are doing so well I really wanna go to India one day I hope you have a great time!
 
Thanks for the support everyone it is very much appreciated and most helpful
I'm having another day like yesterday home all alone bored as shit and was thinking bout coping all day
I really don't have any hobbies or things I can think of that I like to do to get my mind off something
I used to always blame being broke on why I can't do fun things but now I have money and still can't think.of what to.do.When bored
I did not use today but I really wanted to tomorrow I have work so I won't be home all day thinking bout getting high
That is why even tho I hate my job and get underpaid I'm scared to quit cuz this is what happens to me when home all day and nothing to do I obsess about getting high
Hopefully tomorrow will be better I will stay optimistic ;)
Papa- you're doing great I'm happy to see your positive updates
Same for you captain you are a inspiration
Itsok- it's bin a while since we've spoken I'm glad to see you are doing so well I really wanna go to India one day I hope you have a great time!

Your location tag says New York; do you live in New York City?

If so, I'd check out some museums. :)

I love going to the museums in LA.

I had the same problem initially though totach; when I first got off heroin, then suboxone, nothing seemed fun, even the things I used to enjoy! But I started slow (just sitting around, eating food, watching TV) and then eventually worked towards the more intense enjoyable things (going out, visiting museums, etc.) - it's just part of recovery. You're doing great.
 
Thanks man, I never really should give up. I have dreams to travel the world selling clothes and art at Psytrance and other electronic music festivals... sounds like a feat, but it's possible. :3

That would be really awesome!!

I have some amazing psychedelic art I've made digitally, and I've wanted to see it on clothing for some time now.
 
I was just in Tokyo and there were some street vendors by my hotel selling psychedelic art and clothing that had psychedelic art on it. Also when I went into Yoyogi Park (A large park in Tokyo) there were lots of young people wearing psychedelic T-shirts or dresses. There was also a head-shop in Akihabara, it wasn't like American head-shops, while it did have all sorts of pipes it was more focused on clothing, bags, accessories and such that were of the psychedelic variety. So if you wanted to travel the world selling psychedelic art, I have no doubt that Tokyo would be a plenty fruitful place to stop in.
 
I wrote this wonderful response talking all about Japan and what I thought was the coolest and then my browser crashed... sad face. So I'll write a little and then put some pictures in. Japan is a very clean country, they drive on the opposite side of the road, there are cigarette smoking areas throughout the cities and they are always covered and clean. The historic sites are more spiritual and feel holy compared to visiting historical sites in the Western World.
DSC_7152.jpg


kinkaku-ji_golden_pavilion_in_autumn2.jpg


akihabara-tokyo-january-district-january-tokyo-jp-district-major-shopping-area-electronic-computer-anime-games-35548949.jpg
 
Here's some pictures very similar to what I saw. And I was sober this time, I wasn't last time I was in Japan and I don't remember it as well haha. So I'll remember this trip much better :)
 
I've heard the language is a challenge for the Japanese themselves as they have more than 2 alphabets.
 
I wrote this wonderful response talking all about Japan and what I thought was the coolest and then my browser crashed... sad face. So I'll write a little and then put some pictures in. Japan is a very clean country, they drive on the opposite side of the road, there are cigarette smoking areas throughout the cities and they are always covered and clean. The historic sites are more spiritual and feel holy compared to visiting historical sites in the Western World.
DSC_7152.jpg


kinkaku-ji_golden_pavilion_in_autumn2.jpg


akihabara-tokyo-january-district-january-tokyo-jp-district-major-shopping-area-electronic-computer-anime-games-35548949.jpg

so beautiful!! thanks for sharing :)

did you ever get to play in pachinko parlors?

I second this^
I love Japanese culture. I'd love to pick up the language one day. I know how to say a few phrases, that's about it. :/

~Verri

I absolutely love noise music, and the majority of modern noise music originated in Japan. I have a collection of rare Merzbow releases and some of them have Japanese characters on them. %)
 
CH, you like noise music? That's awesome! :)
I love anything that sounds experimental or dark.
Mysterious music.

~Verri
 
Japan is beautiful, it was long ago and I don't remember much (went with family on that trip), but what I do I indeed enjoyed. And the hotel rooms were so little, pink and colorful. Simply fascinating - very unique. Unlike any rooms I've seen where I reside (in the states).
 
I've never been to Japan (not yet :) ) I was very near but could not have changed the tickets.
I was told they have really beautiful mountains and Tokyo also known for being so modern, comparing to already very developed countries. Their traditions, gardens, it's a huge city..
They are indeed pretty colorful as I heard.

It's an expensive country, like Norway. Costs are 3x the usual in nearby countries. (?)
 
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That's how I felt about China. My family went onto China and I had to go back to school… missed out.

You can always go visit Erik, plenty of time. :)
 
I haven't left North America before. Furthest from home I've been was in Mexico.

~Verri
 
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