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  • EADD Moderators: axe battler | Pissed_and_messed

EADD Heroin discussion v.21 -- Big shout out to kkattastic :)

well, had my first relapse on sunday. 4 months down the toilet. smoked 3 bags of beautiful stuff and the guilt is killing me. especially as everyone knows and is worried sick.

thing is, i know it isnt sustainable, but i'd just fucking love to do it again. but thats the boy for you eh?
 
I don't know smacky, it's not as good a feeling as just stayin clean and having respect and stuff like that.
 
i couldnt agree more. i dont know what possessed me. i think i thought i could just use the once nd that be it, but id just love a couple bags right now
 
I don't think it's an impossibility that an addict could use again very occasionally at some point down the line in life. 4 months is certainly not coming close to being out of the danger zone, which you know I'm sure.

Those 4 months are down the drain by any means, be proud of it, you slipped, just don't fall for that insidious little voice telling you it'll be alright. Take care man and stay proud, feelings of failure will see you back where I am.. <3
 
Not been here for weeks/months? - Just to add I balled my eyes out when Bouncer died on Neighbors when i was rattlin
 
Seconded on the emotional volatility after quitting smack/opies. I'm still a soppy fuck after 3 months clean and it's starting to grate on me a little, Heroin seems far more effective than any other opioid at making me cry like a bitch at the news. 8)
 
Just blubbed like a baby at 'a year to save my life',when the guys kid died.Then again when I watched one of those 'soldiers coming home to their kids' videos.
How to avoid all these things that make me cry like a kid
 
so just wanted to let people know how it works here in Israel vs. other places. here NO ONE gives you a number. no one. and you ALWAYS go to your dealer, he NEVER comes to you. because of this lack of the phone it is as simple as showing up to his spot and putting down your money. no bs, no "im 2 minutes away" bullshit. im sure there are trusted friends who deal via phone but no one i met here so far will exchange a number. they keep saying cops can record it. in practice this means that you take a chance sitting on an hour long train to walk up to see your guy's spot raided by cops and junkies running around like scared rats. happened to me yesterday for example. as problematic as it is i prefer that to texting some motherfukcer and calling him constantly and waiting for him. back in the states i would just go to the dealer even if it meant walking or long bus rides as i knew they would never come on time and standing around is the fucking worst.

this gear isn't bad but it's not fire. takes .5-one whole gram sniffed to get you good, sometimes i will do 2 grams in a night to get good, which is way too much.
 
rokkinrollaa6 said:
so just wanted to let people know how it works here in Israel vs. other places. here NO ONE gives you a number. no one. and you ALWAYS go to your dealer, he NEVER comes to you. because of this lack of the phone it is as simple as showing up to his spot and putting down your money. no bs, no "im 2 minutes away" bullshit. im sure there are trusted friends who deal via phone but no one i met here so far will exchange a number. they keep saying cops can record it. in practice this means that you take a chance sitting on an hour long train to walk up to see your guy's spot raided by cops and junkies running around like scared rats. happened to me yesterday for example. as problematic as it is i prefer that to texting some motherfukcer and calling him constantly and waiting for him. back in the states i would just go to the dealer even if it meant walking or long bus rides as i knew they would never come on time and standing around is the fucking worst.

this gear isn't bad but it's not fire. takes .5-one whole gram sniffed to get you good, sometimes i will do 2 grams in a night to get good, which is way too much.
Click to expand...

@Scotch -

any method has to be better than the jordainian procedure isnt it fella? ;)
 
either cops there have fuck all to do but listen to phone taps all day of random people they suspect might be dealing or your dealers are all to paranoid man, that would do my head in. Not knowing till u get there if u can score. What if they dont have ote, or just are not at the spot for some reason, and u go all taht way for fuck all. i much prefer doing buisness by phone even with the 5 mins being 20 bullshit. At least u no wots going on. though its interesting to hear about other peoples/countrys scene. Is the gear there any good purity wise?
 
Smoked my way through an eighth minus spillage (sad but ultimately boring story) last week, with Jess (who had as much herself) ..... Ran out on my usual "eke the last dregs out" taper schedule, just one tooter remaining with a "beetle" on the end that is barely deserving to be called an ant, but you don't need much to make the difference when you're desperate .....

Then got roped into another 3rd party scoring mission. I'd really rather carry on the mild cluck, but I doubt I will be able to resist with gear around me. It will be a test of willpower that, judging by how I feel right now, I'm not expecting to pass ..... so here goes for another withdrawal experience soon :(
 
Julie, I always get the feeling that you're almost always in perpetual withdrawal, have a run of it.. rattle it out.. rinse and repeat. Isn't that really fuckin hard work? Hope you're ok anyways <3

My heroin story for the day is... I've being buying off of the same guys for years, years and years.. It's a kinda love hate relationship, some of them are alright, some of them are fuckin dickheads, some like me, some don't... ok.. all of them like me, because I'm so cool and funny..

Anyway, they've been selling these half 'a grams for years, I was lucky in the last couple of years in the drought because the gear was decent. But it was 40 FUCKIN quid:!, I was buying 3.5g of head between your knees, gear on your teeth with black all over your face, light switches all over the fuckin place for 85/90 blumin quid.... and now you're telling me, this shit is 40 quid.. it's not even half a gram. I've argued for years and years that this particular wrap they do can in no way, shape or form be... a half gram.

So I mystery shoppered them the other week with my 0.00mg scales =D Show them... It was a 0.7..... YAY.... I was wrong...
 
^^
wow, you thought you was getting .4 for £40. that would have been crappy. yeah .7 is more like it but that's £30 round here( although bags are still .15),
been average gear for months now locally , so i'd be well pissed if the price was higher.
i BADLY want that unmistakeable taste of GOOD GOOD gear again.

@blondin
you're across the city , whats the stuff there saying?
 
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ScotchMist said:
Julie, I always get the feeling that you're almost always in perpetual withdrawal, have a run of it.. rattle it out.. rinse and repeat. Isn't that really fuckin hard work? Hope you're ok anyways <3
Click to expand...
It sort of seems that way ..... This latest score just sort of landed in my lap at exactly the wrong moment, i.e. just when I was embarking upon a tolerance break and my resistance to temptation was at rock bottom, and now I have to repeat the worst few days again.

I'll survive, though, because I don't know how to do anything else.
 
Think it's about time I give my personal gear situation update considering it's nearly a month since I last posted.. Managed to stay clean for about two weeks starting my new job but as is the way with gear it wasn't long before I decided I could get away with chipping a couple of bags on a weekend...

Naturally I ended up full on addicted again and the past month i've been using daily (around .8 a day). I've "moved up" the supply chain now after a lucky encounter with a guy when I was scoring earlier in the week.. We swapped numbers as he had vallies at a decent price (20p a pop for legit 10mg msj's) and he called me out of the blue asking if I wanted a 1/4 ounce for a very reasonable price, which makes a lot of sense considering i'm working full time and having the pressure of trying to get in contact with a dealer who may or may not pick up at some point the same day for an amount that would last me two days max. Anyway i'm waiting for my paycheck to come in this week before getting a half ounce to last me through October if i'm lucky.

I was sceptical when I went to pick up first, I've been fucked over before and left with a bloody nose and so was pleasantly surprised when the guy turned out to be sound.

I've started at Lifeline again and will hopefully be on Subutex by October 10th, my Keyworker suggested that it would work best for my situation, the real pain is the fucking wait, it's daft that when i'm desperately trying to get off H there's no immediate short term perspiration supervised at the clinic (to stop me taking them with me and doing god knows what with them) I can be given to get me through the two week wait instead of having to fucking spend all my money on Heroin till that point.

I've been really weak, though everything's starting to go well in my life at the moment, i've got a decent job, a girlfriend and I'm not depressed. But the cold turkey is too much to do over a weekend and i've got no time off work to do it in till fucking november. I hate being trapped like this.
 
ScotchMist said:
Julie, I always get the feeling that you're almost always in perpetual withdrawal, have a run of it.. rattle it out.. rinse and repeat. Isn't that really fuckin hard work? Hope you're ok anyways <3

My heroin story for the day is... I've being buying off of the same guys for years, years and years.. It's a kinda love hate relationship, some of them are alright, some of them are fuckin dickheads, some like me, some don't... ok.. all of them like me, because I'm so cool and funny..

Anyway, they've been selling these half 'a grams for years, I was lucky in the last couple of years in the drought because the gear was decent. But it was 40 FUCKIN quid:!, I was buying 3.5g of head between your knees, gear on your teeth with black all over your face, light switches all over the fuckin place for 85/90 blumin quid.... and now you're telling me, this shit is 40 quid.. it's not even half a gram. I've argued for years and years that this particular wrap they do can in no way, shape or form be... a half gram.

So I mystery shoppered them the other week with my 0.00mg scales =D Show them... It was a 0.7..... YAY.... I was wrong...
Click to expand...

so r u saying they wont sell 8ths now just 40s which is expensive at.7 for 40 . thats basically just bag deals. sorry for being dumb, but i found your post a bit confusing
 
Yup, they haven't changed their prices since the drought. No deals at all. There is others that do weight and deals but their gear isn't as good. My habits relatively small so it doesn't bother me much
 
I dunno.Buying a half OZ and hoping it will last a month. Woulda lasted me 4 days maybe when i was using.Cos if it was there,I'd use it.I am just not that strong when presented with temptation. Been many months now since I scored but that is cos it is an epic journey to score and I have learned to like having the money to buy what I want,when I want.
Just brought my bro a go-pro cam for his birthday. Only £50 which is nothing when you look at it in terms of buying gear.
Also £40 for half a G was what we used to pay when I first started using,like 20 years back. Then one day it all changed. This new,rockier,lighter coloured gear appeared at half the price. £20 for a half a G. Everyone was amazed and like 'fuck,this has gotta be some shitty gear',but it wasn't.And that's how it stayed until the great drought.
Lotsa news articles lately about the massive increase in OD's. So must be some real gear on the street again. For the newer users that have never had any real gear,there are bound to be ODs. People are campaigning for more readily available naloxone.
 
@dsd pretty good - tbh the asian crews have the same as they had in the drought good quality gear and white its just that the shots are now .15 and not .1. 1/8ths 110 but 7/10 max (from differnt crews) where as the shots can be up to 9/10 never less than 8
 
I started subutex today, I didn't realise how much of hassle this is going to be the first couple of weeks going to the pharmacy everyday (should have expected it though) I had my first dose at midday (2mg) and didn't feel much, though I was head over heals into a withdrawal at the time, had a lie down then had the second 2mg they gave me to take home at 3pm and I feel pretty good now as far as feeling good goes. That is, I'm not in withdrawal anymore, don't have any cravings, though don't feel high.. i'm trying to remember if this is what feeling normal is like. I've got another 2mg to go for today, how long do these things last for and when's the best time for me to next take one? I'm going to the pharmacy at 7:30am before work tomorrow to get tomorrow's "supervised dose" and the two they give me to take away before a keyworker meeting at 12:30 to see how my first day's been.
 
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