Opioids Walking the Line--Any advice is helpful!

[Lucy Bookit]

I have a chronic type of autoimmune arthritis, called ankylosing spondylitis. I was diagnosed at 11, and already have a great amount of joint damage at age 23 (well, turning 24 Sunday ), and one day will most likely have a fused spine as that is the disease progression. I experience extreme, excruciating pain every day in the morning, during the day depending upon if I'm having a flare, and at night after work once all the stress of the day kinda hits. I'm being prescribed hydrocodone (10mg 4xday), which is my first experience with pain management. But this is not my first time with opioids...

I've used some form of opioid since age 16, within a month after taking my first pill I shot oxy. I have used on and off from then until I got my own apartment, my last year in college. I started making tea, as well as having a friend now who used blues, so I was using more and more as well as my boyfriend and I getting addicted to coke. Those two combined and I was on a tear, so that by this time last year I had lost my job, my boyfriend and I were spending more than our rent on coke, I was daily making tea or taking kratom or going to the 'doc in a box' for back problems, and I even tried to OD on benzos (luckily, I woke up).

Anyway, now, we've moved to a new state and haven't been using drugs. I'm being prescribed hydrocodone for my arthritis pain, especially because I asked for pain management and problems getting my arthritis medication/my doctor forgetting to fill my script for Enbrel and giving me the run around twice. My flares have been bad, and I'm glad that I have something I can take even if it doesn't cover all the pain. I've also done physical therapy and been exercising, generally treating my body better.

I am worried about fuckin this up really badly. I already had to go through w/d because I finished my last script early, and used lope until I could fill the new one (still early) today. My disease is only going to get worse, and my body will get more damaged, so I don't want to over do it too much so that I don't raise up my tolerance too fast. I also don't want to do anything to jeopardize this relief in the future. I had been strong willed towards the end of the script, and my boyfriend is going to help limit how many I use per week.


TL;DR: If anyone has any advice about being previously addicted to opioids, and using them properly for chronic pain diseases, I'd really like any advice or experience. I don't want to fuck this up for me now or down the road.

Thanks,
Lucy

 

[SickWithRA]

Hey there, I have rheumatoid arthritis (also autoimmune) - my current prescriptions are Humira injection (once every 2 weeks), oxycodone (10mg, 4X a day), Gabapentin (300mg, 3X a day), back and forth between MS Contin (morphine ER, 2X a day) and Oxycontin (oxycodone ER, 2X a day). I can't go to the bathroom when I take the MS Contin, but the Oxycontin (I'm on that right now) is too expensive without insurance...I'll probably go back to the MS. Maybe your doctor can put you on an extended release med...so your pain is managed...the hydrocodone is pretty weak (I used to be on that). Ask about adding MS Contin or Oxycontin to the mix...they really do help and don't make you feel "weird".

 

[Felonious Monk]

I had some problems with opioid abuse but then found myself in PM for GI issues. It's possible, though difficult, even though for me my opiate abuse never even reached the level of physical dependence.

Cannabis is your solution. Whether you can switch out one for the other, or just use cannabis to reduce your concurrent opiate use. It's an excellent way to maintain low doses of opiates (I've been on the same, reasonably low, dose of oxycodone for about 14 months).

It takes serious self control though. I make sure that I NEVER go over my daily prescribed dose, and usually try to operate at 50%, so there's always pills left (squirreling them away makes me feel even better about the whole thing, cause I can have my pain maintained, and still have some, legally, for a rainy day in case something happens--or flares, which cause me to use 150-200% of my daily Rx/day).

 

[tacodude]

I second the cannabis comment..... I'm without it right now and where 4mg iv hydromorphone would be good I'm barely settled at two 8mg shots within thirty minutes of each other. You could ask your doctor to let you try the sustained release hydrocodone although you might be treated as an abuser as they are not abuse proof. Honestly in my experience unless it's a doctor who truly respects you, your condition, and your needs. Sadly that I lack.

 

[Lucy Bookit]

Thanks guys! Yeah, I'm going to ask about somebody based meds. I don't smoke weed anymore because I get anxiety attacks and my boyfriend has stopped smoking which was a battle for him (mostly due to my prodding). I am really scared of being labeled an abuser, and being shit out of luck again. I def have had big problems with opiates. I used to use IV and got an abscess at 16 that landed me in the hospital for 11 days (I used my enbrel needles haha); but somehow I lied and was believed enough that it's not in my med records. I'm seeing my pain doc in a week and a half or so, and will ask about something strinfer that can't be abused. I wanted to ask for percs when I first started but worried they'd kick me out. Ugh. I have been mostly good with my new script (a smidgen naughty because my birthday was Sunday). I hope I will keep myself in check.

My arthritis is also autoimmune, btw .

 

[SickWithRA]

The morphine ER and oxycodone ER are the way to go...help with pain and no loopy feelings.

 

[Wonka]

Just use will power to not abuse easier said then done I know....and dont kick ur self down becuase you have a disease i suffer from epilipsey i have seizures had em falling down stairs all sorts of shit.....i would drink the pain away.....its very hard but i stay away from abusing alcohol anymore my DOC....you seem to have the right enviroment to not abuse just be honost with yourself best of luck and have fun on your birthday

 

[Wonka]

also music has helped me move mountains so to speak anytime i need to vent or feel down i jam some music i can relate to

 

[Lucy Bookit]

You all make me feel a lot better. I guess sometimes it's hard trying not to do what you are really craving. I've been able to quit in the past, I even quit a really bad coke problem last year (which was almost as bad as me+opiates). I'm gonna try and remember that fucking up now is also fucking up down the road. (you would think I would know that by now)

I'm trying to get back into going to punk shows. I know doing stuff like that will help too. I also need to keep writing. I've actually kept a blog since I started using and it helps me a lot. I will also try not to gett too angry with myself. I hate being an invalid with so many problems and doctors. Idk I've been sick for so long, idk why it bothers me anymore.

 

[Lucy Bookit]

Btw, Sick, have you ever IVed opiates? I get a placebo high giving myself my injections even though they're in my thigh. Yummy enbrel haha!

 

[SickWithRA]

No, I won't do that (IV). I need my prescriptions too much for working 40 hours a week and running 50 miles in training each week. I had a blood clot about 6 months ago during an IV treatment while at the doctor's office...so my body doesn't seem cool with the IV method. I ended up on Xarelto (dangerous blood thinner) for 6 weeks because of the stupid clot. It was a big mess and my Rheumatogist said I was the 1st patient she's seen have that problem from an IV infusion of Remicade in her office. My Humira is an injection, but the needles come prepared. My pain specialist has me on pretty decent medications at the moment (Oxy IR and Oxy ER)...they cover my pain well, especially since we just started the ER and are titrating up. I suspect I'll end up on like 60mg, 2X a day...and if I switch back to the morphine ER (100mg, 2X a day). The Oxy IR (10mg, 4X a day) is adequate. I doubt he'll mess with that. I used to be on hydrocodone (10mg, 4X a day), but it was pretty weak and my pain specialist switched me to Oxy on the 1st visit. We will see what happens...the appointments are monthly and include a drug test as well.

 

[SickWithRA]

Lucy, I was reading about your autoimmune and it sounds very painful...I hope the doctors adjust your meds. Dealing with heavy pain on a daily basis is SO difficult...it makes me angry and depressed when I have flares...extremely irritable and tired. I hate RA so much and wish my body would just stop it...I'm sure you feel the same. My pain specialist is saving me...I'm still working and running, which is important...because once I can't do that...there will be a major problem. I feel like the autoimmune joint diseases are like...use it or lose it (the joints will become too stiff and permanently damaged)...so we need that pain medication to keep using those joints.

 

[simco]

Lucy, I noticed your remark about getting back into going to punk shows. After years away from that stuff, for about the past year, I've been going to shows again, and it's done wonders for my spirits (and half-hearted attempts to cut back on some drugs).

Not sure who you're into, but feel free to PM me if you want to chat about good shows. (I've never explored the music forums on BL, but I think I'm not really in sync with what most folks there like.) FWIW, I recently saw SWANS play, and it was a near-religious experience. I felt great for days, except for my ears )) ) ) ) ) ) ) <- that's ringing.

 

[Lucy Bookit]

Sick, i meant in the past, haha. Of course you wouldn't now, that'd be terrible to be out. Yeah the pain and damage from 12 years of inflammation is so intense. I don't want to be kicked out but I am def going to advocate for myself.

Shows are great for my spirits, but not so much for not doing drugs. At least out where i am now, i don't know anyone so I stick with my meds.

 

[f33lg00d]

Sounds awful lucy, best of luck. Id say 40mg hydro is nowhere near what you deserve- personally I would try to get on methadone (its great for pain and lasts a long time) in your situation. Maybe some phenbut you could order online legal would help too. It is good not to be dependent because it keeps the opioids working well. But eventually you may need to become dependent, theres a difference be dependent and addicted. Its important not to get addicted again. If you do need more opiate but your doctor wont up you yet, there are kratom "extracts" that are on par with hydro codone- uei and fst.

 

[Lucy Bookit]

Thanks f33lgood! It's nice to hear someone say that I'm not out of line thinking that my dosage is super low for my level of pain (idk sometimes I wonder if I'm just being weak or drug searching). I'm going to ask about going on an xr med and then an ir for break through pain. I was on the butrans patch (which didn't work at all), so I'm thinking of maybe asking about oral bupe. I don't want to feel bad for needing more meds, but being in pain makes everything harder. At least today is Friday... I have not been doing what I'm supposed to but some days I cut down to even it out. I can't wait for Monday and seeing my doctor.

 

[bingey]

I'm not in pain but chronic mental illness , I smoke cannabis when get that weird pent up energy feeling (like when you are in WD stimulated but unable to use the energy for anything purposefull) mellows me out and the anxiety is actually a good thing keeps me safe and inside after dark , I also pay more attention to hygiene after consuming cannabis.

However just smoke good old fashioned hashish to be on the safe side of schizophrenia.

 

[Lucy Bookit]

Weed doesn't help my pain, I wish it did. I just got out of the er because of intense burning/tingling radiating in my lower legs due to my spinal chord being squeezed or inflamed. I was given dilaudid im and I still had my regular amount of pain--it's really intense.

Its good it helps you. The anti psychotics have nasty side effects (I know from experience).

My mom is gonna hold on to my meds once I get them from my doctor on Monday. I'm hoping this helps me a lot once I'm on the right meds. Hopefully my nerve pain will be figured out top.

 

[Sleepdust]

Has anyone mentioned tapentadol (Nucynta)? You can get assistance with or without insurance that lowers the cost to $25/month. It produces basically zero euphoria (for most, some people "enjoy it" for some insane reason), and it lasts 10 - 12 hours a tablet (ER formulation). The doctor usually prescribes something for breakthrough pain along with the ER formulation, usually tapentadol immediate release 50 mg. Extremely strong pain relief due to a dual mechanism of action (NRI and mixed opioid receptor agonist).

Bear in mind you will lose that euphoria you are used to with hydrocodone.

 

[Lucy Bookit]

Cool. Yeah I'm going to talk to the doctor and see what they recommend and then if we need to try different options I will bring it up. But I'm going to keep that in mind. Cause during the day I'd rather be clear headed especially with my work.