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March forward, and fear not the thorns... March 2015 Gettin' & Stayin' Sober Thread

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Your body might need to rest. This happened to me… I could barely move, exhausted daily ... but it passed.
Instead of asking why, reframe the thoughts to 'how' - and " I.will.get.through.this. " No matter what.
It's okay, you will be okay if you don't use…. You are right where you need to be. :)
You are loved and people do care. Sometimes they just don't know how.

I'm sorry about your bf. My roommate is using, but this is where he is at right now. It's not my fault, it just IS. It has to be this way and is his path, as when I was using and he was clean long ago it was my path. We all have our own timeline in life. Take a snapshot of someone one day it won't be the same picture another place in time. When he is ready to quit, it will happen. Does it make it easy? no.

But, it gets better… even if harder first, it does get better.
Hang in there… You're worth it! <3
 
I'm trying.... today is really a challenge, and I'm desperately trying to find a way to feel ok. Without hurting myself... I have a strong urge to just do something really dumb to myself but that doesn't help the situation, it just leaves a reminder on the body forever, as to why I did it in the first place.
Always trying to find some kind of escape, even if it isn't drugs...
How do I cope with my feelings? I can't stand myself, and my thoughts. I need to numb them away...

~Verri
 
Yes, me too - I was a self harmer actually. I re-introjected the pain from being abused as a child when strong feelings would arise, so I could get out of myself (seemingly), out of my thoughts, feelings, senses of things, my surroundings. Yet, I always came back to me.

How to cope? Yes, good question. I think coping will come natural with time, in healing ways. Right now though, If I were you I would just try not to take the thoughts feelings that arise personally, just see them for what they are… Just thoughts, not facts.
" I am not my thoughts, they just come. They are not permanent… "
Especially right now, as they might be darker which is partially neuro-chemical at times. This will change. My thoughts were very dark for a while

The thoughts will move through you and pass - try not to get stuck on one and obsess about it. If they don't pass, just embrace what's happening and feel them. Some pain might then be released. In my experience it's the trying to escape or fight, challenge or argue with what what arises in my mind, my thinking that makes it harder to be with myself…

~ Smoky
 
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