March forward, and fear not the thorns... March 2015 Gettin' & Stayin' Sober Thread

[totach]

My love it's a lapse not a relapse at least that's what they used to teach me in rehab
As long as you jump right back on the wagon there's not much harm done
You've come a long way I'm sure you can continue your sobriety
One of my favorite songs is accidents can happen by nikki six's sixx am you should check it out
As for me I got into a car accident today with one of the customers cars
It was not my fault at all but my bosses are trying to find a way to blame me so I can pay for it
I got rocked from the back while driving in traffic and since we don't have transport plates I couldn't file a police report
I got really bad whiplash and now my back and neck hert a lot
I really don't know what to do with this job anymore I hate everything about it but I can't leave and take the chance of not being able to find another job right away
I'm very delicate now cuz my house is empty for the next 23 days and I'm a little scared of the freedom
I will look for more support from friends and you.guys for the next 23 days
All said and done I'm doing ok I'm coming up on two months soon so that's amazing
I'm so proud of everyone in this thread you people are awesome

 

[wanting]

myloveishim: It is a set-back, not a relapse. That one day is a learning experience.

verri: Several months ago, you told me that things start to get better at about 30 days, but I wouldn't feel anything resembling "normal" until 60 days. You were absolutely right. Knowing that helped me hold on when it felt like I would feel fragile and beaten up. You're doing great!

CH: I have been thinking of you lately. A good friend of mine committed suicide last week. I've been thinking of your posts and how you've been so close to that point. Has that passed for you? Are you in a stable place emotionally? My friend had bipolar disorder, but self-treated with lots of alcohol, opiates, and Ambien. I miss him terribly, and I'm left with the residual (and useless) concern that maybe there was something more I could have done for him. I don't want to let this opportunity pass to let you know that there are people who love you, and who are sending positive thoughts your way.

 

[herbavore]

@totach--hang in there! Vulnerability sneaks up on you when life gets stressful and it sounds like it is for you right now. Be conscious of your every emotion and the thoughts that immediately follow your feelings. Tell yourself that this is an opportunity to learn how to deal with stress (and physical pain and uncertainty, etc etc) without turning to a drug. It takes practice and here is the time to practice!

 

[totach]

You are very right herbivore I have to learn how to deal with stressful situations sober which I haven't done in 12 years
I can't lie and say I haven't bin getting crazy cravings for the past two days with my newly found freedom
I am scared tbh but as long as I don't pick up I'm good
Practice is a good way to look at it because if I'm going to live a sober life and once I get my shit together I will have all the freedom in the world so I should look at this as a positive situation to test myself
I will try my best to not put myself in any sticky situations where I will be tempted to cop
I am staying away from any users which I have done for the past two months anyways
Thanx for the encouragement I read your posts all the time you have so much knowledge and you write so well your an amazing contribution to this community
I will continue updating on my status I really need you guys

 

[Phase0)))]

Got 9 months today!!

 

[jackie jones]

^Congratulations! 10 here

On a side note, ever since I have been sober my sex drive has increased tenfold. My wife hates me because all I want to do is fuck her.

 

[Papaverium]

of course Verri

that was my #1 stress source in early recovery. I had to get myself back on my feet fairly quickly, and it was terrifying to me.

I am trying very hard to be productive. Keep my house clean, I just feel like I never have energy. I do have a lot on my mind all the time though..Also, I decided to start making an effort to eat healthier, so hopefully I start to feel that soon. Two weeks for me today. A month seems so far away... I made it past a month before though so I can do it again. I feel really determined to keep it that way too.

Congrats to everyone who've had another 24hrs away from whatever you are quitting!
I'm gonna go try to eat food now, I have a headache and don't wanna start thinking of certain ways I could get rid of it >.>

Cheers all,
~Verri

 

[totach]

Mylove how are you doing?

 

[totach]

I am having really bad cravings today so bad its scary
I had the day off and occupied my time walking around the city but as soon as i got home all i can think about is coping again
If i didnt have plans for tonight i mighta got high im not sure but its a possebility
I really hope i dont do it ive never bin one to deal well with cravings im weak when it comes to that
I pray tomorrow will be better i hope evreyone else is doing better then i am

 

[XANAX XR]

nice to see other members getting through struggles! congrats.

3 months+ off of benzos, opiates, amps.

I only drink occasionally, otherwise, I am clean!

 

[myloveishim]

I'm hanging in there. Trying my hardest to put one foot in front of the other. Day 3.. I'm gonna make it! I will some how beat this mindfuck of a disease. One way or the other.

Hope your day got better and you said it, tomorrow is another day. Glad you made it thru and didn't use. Message me anytime!

 

[Captain.Heroin]

Hey all, I feel like I've come to this thread a bit late in the game (just found it). I'm trying to make it four weeks opiate free. Right now I'm at 12 days. Yesterday I got smacked with some majorly bad family-related news and of course my thinking immediately went to heroin. I managed to get through last night OK, mostly thanks to lots of weed. But the issue that came up yesterday is only gonna get worse in the coming months. Any thoughts on how to keep clean when the shit really hits the fan?

I don't know exactly what you have ahead of you, but I'd figure getting some friends to support you through this would be a big help.

 

[Captain.Heroin]

CH: I have been thinking of you lately. A good friend of mine committed suicide last week. I've been thinking of your posts and how you've been so close to that point. Has that passed for you? Are you in a stable place emotionally? My friend had bipolar disorder, but self-treated with lots of alcohol, opiates, and Ambien. I miss him terribly, and I'm left with the residual (and useless) concern that maybe there was something more I could have done for him. I don't want to let this opportunity pass to let you know that there are people who love you, and who are sending positive thoughts your way.

I hope it has passed for me. There's still days where I'm really angry at life itself, or myself, and I get really down. But most days are good days now. The first few months of acute WD and PAWS were utter hell but I'm doing much better now.

I have 5 months and 1 day

thanks for reaching out wanting, and I'm so sorry to hear about your friend

 

[Erikmen]

Yes Captain, has it passed? I never told you but going through methadone withdraws 3 months (40 days straight off) makes me think a lot about what you had to deal with.
Does it get better?

 

[Papaverium]

I am having really bad cravings today so bad its scary
I had the day off and occupied my time walking around the city but as soon as i got home all i can think about is coping again
If i didnt have plans for tonight i mighta got high im not sure but its a possebility
I really hope i dont do it ive never bin one to deal well with cravings im weak when it comes to that
I pray tomorrow will be better i hope evreyone else is doing better then i am

Hey, I hope you overcame your feelings last night and managed to keep another 24hrs clean!
It's so hard to deal with cravings....

The best way I find, is to occupy myself with something I like to do.... Not something I have to do cause then it feels like a task and I never wannna get up and do it.
Do you have any passions?
I love to make art, and ever since my addiction got bad, I lost all my creativity. but I'm slowly getting it back, and it feels awesome to want to do things with my life.

That's all you have to do. Think positively.... "I can do this, it's just a bad feeling that will pass that I have the strength to overcome."
When your mind gets stuck in a loop of craving, try to focus on accomplishments you have achieved in your life, and goals you want for the future....
It's really helping me keep my mind off opiates. I'm 16 days clean and feeling significantly better, but it's still a long road...
I wanna travel, and make clothing. Start my own little clothing shop. But that can't happen if I'm nodding all day.

I sent you my positive vibes~~~~~ as well as everyone else!

You can do anything you truly set your mind to!

I wish everyone a safe, sober and splendid Saturday!

~Verri

 

[totach]

That was so well said verri thanx for that
I did make another 24 its so crazy how the one day i craved the most i found some methadone in the bathroom before i could even contemplate taking it i flushed it
I dont really have passioans i like hangout with friends mostly when i have the time
I would like to take up a hobby i just need to find another job first since i dont have time for myself with this job
I feel better today i ate lunch with my uncle and usually he always tells me i cant drink but this time he was pouring my wine it was a good feeling i felt trust
Im glaf i got over the craving that is why i posted here you cant imagine how much your post and evreyone elses help me
Have a good weekend evreyone

 

[Papaverium]

That was so well said verri thanx for that
I did make another 24 its so crazy how the one day i craved the most i found some methadone in the bathroom before i could even contemplate taking it i flushed it
I dont really have passioans i like hangout with friends mostly when i have the time
I would like to take up a hobby i just need to find another job first since i dont have time for myself with this job
I feel better today i ate lunch with my uncle and usually he always tells me i cant drink but this time he was pouring my wine it was a good feeling i felt trust
Im glaf i got over the craving that is why i posted here you cant imagine how much your post and evreyone elses help me
Have a good weekend evreyone

That's friggin' awesome that you flushed it!!
I'd have a realllly hard time doing that , but it's for our own good...

We are here to help.

Addicts helping other addicts recover. We are not alone.
"We didn't become addicted in one day, so remember, easy does it."
Take it step by step.

~Verri

 

[Luci Furr]

I'm curious if you don't mind sharing capitan.heroin did you take anything to help you psychologically with your with your feelings of anger at life or yourself? I'm trying to come off the needle addiction to dilaudid & have 3 suicide attempts all over 5 years ago, 1 from migraine pain I just wanted the pain to go away wasn't truly trying to kill myself, 2nd all out attempt after embarrassment and shame of 1st incident I was a paramedic 20 years and married to an RN so very much impacted my career and husbands & 3rd my daughter was kidnapped by her biological father & I found out the cops couldn't get her back for me...I have battled "situational depression" but never been diagnosed with other mental issues...I have lots of anger from getting addicted even though not buying illegal or doctor or pharmacy shopping legitimate pain management issues from a rare incurable heart disease and taking just what was prescribed to me the way it was prescribed and guilt issues as well since I should have known better...

 

[Captain.Heroin]

I'm curious if you don't mind sharing capitan.heroin did you take anything to help you psychologically with your with your feelings of anger at life or yourself? I'm trying to come off the needle addiction to dilaudid & have 3 suicide attempts all over 5 years ago, 1 from migraine pain I just wanted the pain to go away wasn't truly trying to kill myself, 2nd all out attempt after embarrassment and shame of 1st incident I was a paramedic 20 years and married to an RN so very much impacted my career and husbands & 3rd my daughter was kidnapped by her biological father & I found out the cops couldn't get her back for me...I have battled "situational depression" but never been diagnosed with other mental issues...I have lots of anger from getting addicted even though not buying illegal or doctor or pharmacy shopping legitimate pain management issues from a rare incurable heart disease and taking just what was prescribed to me the way it was prescribed and guilt issues as well since I should have known better...

Cannabis (weed smoking rarely, mostly extract dabbing; shatter, wax, etc)

alcohol rarely, mostly when I didn't have things going on in my life (for most people, this would be charity work, or school, or actual for-profit work) - now it's only on the weekends

I don't endorse alcohol; awful drug. but it's better than the hard drugs, cheaper too.

 

[totach]

Thank god I made it thru the weekend
I have a nasty hangover from last night but I do drink on occasion
I am off to work now
Thank you everyone for helping me get thru the weekend
I wish everyone an amazing week!