Eyefordetail
Greenlighter
- Joined
- Feb 28, 2015
- Messages
- 4
I apologize in advance for speling and .grammar
-novice acid user, 5 trips total
-21 yrs
-heavy drug use with everything from cannibis to alch, scripts, shrooms, ect. (minus crack and meth) between ages 15-18
This is a description of my third trip of summer 14...
First and second trips of the year went for the most part well.
My "friend" who we will refer to as "Adam" is my roommate and was what i considered to be my best friend, his profession requires him to be away for months at a time. he and i have grown very close over the years and have been through a lot. Friend 2, who we will call "Gill" is also a very close friend, me and adam and gill have been good friends all through school and have always stuck together. adam and gill are the ones i have been sharing my trips with this summer. Adam says he is coming home from work after a month or so with 10 hits of acid, and we plan to to trip when he gets home, only to find out when he gets home that it isnt actually acid but he says its lsa or 2ci or something and he assures us we will trip because he saw some other people take it. so a few days later is the day we planned on taking 2 tabs each, about 11pm he seemed uneasy and said "maybe we shouldnt do this" but i was eager and i convinced him that him and gill and i will have a great time, so we take our tabs and they taste very bitter so i assume it was laced with something else, adam kept making jokes about how we are going to die because he isnt sure about what kind of drug it was for sure wich kind of made me uneasy...
we migrate upstairs where the rest of our roommates and some friends are playing videogames, we all start ripping the bong. as i come up more and more i feel more uncomfortable and confused, and i find myself observing everyone and feeling very awkward, while gill is sitting in a chair saying "whats happening" over and over again and adam is playing videogames being the center of attention and making everyone laugh, at some point during this social interaction i notice the vibe getting really wierd and i keep looking at adam and when i look away i can feel him looking at me, and i keep getting up for water and i feel as if everyone is making fun of me but im not sure, eventually me adam and gill and random other friend jacob get up and go outside for a smoke, where adam procedes to say something that i cant remember but it even made jacob uncomfortable who is just stoned. it was something along the lines of how everyone worships him and how he is such a piece of shit. there was dead silence and i looked at him and i said "dude i fucking love you" and all four of us went in for a group hug and i was the first to pull away and adam had an attitude like aaaaw i knew that wouldnt last too long, he then proceeded to say something about higher vibrations manipulating the lower ones, jacob became uncomfortable and packed up his backpack and decided to leave, he and i smoked a cig just me and him and i asked him what the fuck was going on and he said "isnt it better on this side" and his hair changed colors and the grass turned neon green and got really long and flowed in the wind and i was overcome with a sense of ease and all the visuals and the comfort left with him slowly as he walked to his car.
ok here is where things get wierd, now im peaking.
i went inside and went into the basement where gill and adam where tripping, i slowly started catching on how they where mocking my every move and the fact that i wasnt saying anything, this felt horrible as these two are supposed to be my best friends. adam suggested that he wanted to smoke some weed and when i went for my grinder, he clapped his hands once and said "see? thats how easy it is" this was unlike them, especially gill. i had a strong feeling gill was being controlled. time felt as if it had stopped and i had this sense of impending doom as if my soul was being destroyed, unlike anything i have ever felt on any drug ever. i started thinking adam was god and that gill was his brainwashed minion and that i died and this was the eternal hell i had to live in as punishment for all my sins. (i have quite the past) i started asking "why cant i talk" and "am i dead?" all while continued to be mocked and ridiculed. things get kind of blurry from here but i vividly remember thinking that i thought i had killed everyone and adam asked me if i could see the red and blue lights and him and gill kept making jokes about blood. i started going up and down the stairs in confusion of reality, i went upstairs to watch the few people still awake play videogames but i thought they where mocking me too. i came down stairs and i saw blood all over adams tattoos (which was actually there he had just gotten fresh tatoos) and he was ripping the plastic wrap off of them saying "welcome to hell" and "im gunna fucking rape you" at this i paniced and decided i had to do SOMETHING. there was blood all over the walls. i went up to my room (on the 3rd floor) and went to the main floor walked past the two roomies still up playing videogames and went out front only to find adam chillin on the stoop like he KNEW i was going to leave...
i looked at him and said "i cant go back in there" he said something fucked up that i cant remember, then i said "why are you such a big part of this?" and i cant remember his response, i walked out the front gate and he followed me and was asking where i was going, all maintaining his cocky god complex attitude, skipping along side me. i decided to lie and say the gas station and that i changed my mind and when we went back to the house i snuck out the back and ran for my life, i wandered around for hours, lost. all the city blocks and houses looked the same, sometimes walking up and down the same block 10 or 20 times because both sides looked identical, the sky was black and grey that night with lightning and clouds but no rain. adam tried to call me and i threw my phone because i was scared he could find me. i thought the house i lived in was a privilege in this hell and the fact that i left meant i couldnt go back or find it. i thought i was going to have to walk around until the world rotted away and ceased to exist and i would float in space for eterinity and join all the others that have met this same fate. eventually i get back in my head after hours of begging for my life back and realize that gil and adam where probably worried sick about me and i go back home this was about 3-4 hours later, apperently adam had been crying and calling hospitals and wandering around looking for me thinking that i had died. we re-dosed a 1/2 hit and finished the strip off and i was really quiet the rest of the morning.
4th trip was a few weeks later when i started to feel better and adam wanted to trip again, i was hesitant but him and gill are my best friends i fgured it might fix me.
nope.
it was fine for a few hours we where all having fun but then i started getting anxious and i coulndt tell if they where mocking me or not although it felt as if they where, because they kept laughing for no reason it was only one hit of real acid this time. i was laying on the couch as the anxiety started and adam said "___ is like i dont like the way this stuff (acid) makes me feel" and i said why the fuck would you say that? he replies with "im in and out." he also asked me if i ever feel like i am always being watched, and if me and gill have ever played with a ouji board...
him and gill make funny parody rap songs that they kept on listening to that i also have convinced myself are all about mocking me, even though logically. that would be such a waste of time, unless the universe is actually a huge joke on me anyways.
i have never felt the same since, i felt like i was still dead for about 2 months
i am sober now, every time i smoke weed i get flash backs and it feels like everyone is talking in code mocking me.
i often feel as if all musical lyrics ever written are mocking me.
i quit drinking because it just makes me quiet now.
i had extreme social anxiety, depression and depersonalization following trip number 3
now that i am sober i feel much better. i exersise and have hobbies and passions to keep my mind off the delusions. although sometimes they get the best of me.
Thanks for reading
Namaste.
Tagged by Xorkoth
substancecode_lsd
substancecode_lysergamides
explevel_inexperienced
exptype_negative
exptype_spiritual
exptype_lifechanging
exptype_difficult
exptype_disaster
roacode_sublingual
-novice acid user, 5 trips total
-21 yrs
-heavy drug use with everything from cannibis to alch, scripts, shrooms, ect. (minus crack and meth) between ages 15-18
This is a description of my third trip of summer 14...
First and second trips of the year went for the most part well.
My "friend" who we will refer to as "Adam" is my roommate and was what i considered to be my best friend, his profession requires him to be away for months at a time. he and i have grown very close over the years and have been through a lot. Friend 2, who we will call "Gill" is also a very close friend, me and adam and gill have been good friends all through school and have always stuck together. adam and gill are the ones i have been sharing my trips with this summer. Adam says he is coming home from work after a month or so with 10 hits of acid, and we plan to to trip when he gets home, only to find out when he gets home that it isnt actually acid but he says its lsa or 2ci or something and he assures us we will trip because he saw some other people take it. so a few days later is the day we planned on taking 2 tabs each, about 11pm he seemed uneasy and said "maybe we shouldnt do this" but i was eager and i convinced him that him and gill and i will have a great time, so we take our tabs and they taste very bitter so i assume it was laced with something else, adam kept making jokes about how we are going to die because he isnt sure about what kind of drug it was for sure wich kind of made me uneasy...
we migrate upstairs where the rest of our roommates and some friends are playing videogames, we all start ripping the bong. as i come up more and more i feel more uncomfortable and confused, and i find myself observing everyone and feeling very awkward, while gill is sitting in a chair saying "whats happening" over and over again and adam is playing videogames being the center of attention and making everyone laugh, at some point during this social interaction i notice the vibe getting really wierd and i keep looking at adam and when i look away i can feel him looking at me, and i keep getting up for water and i feel as if everyone is making fun of me but im not sure, eventually me adam and gill and random other friend jacob get up and go outside for a smoke, where adam procedes to say something that i cant remember but it even made jacob uncomfortable who is just stoned. it was something along the lines of how everyone worships him and how he is such a piece of shit. there was dead silence and i looked at him and i said "dude i fucking love you" and all four of us went in for a group hug and i was the first to pull away and adam had an attitude like aaaaw i knew that wouldnt last too long, he then proceeded to say something about higher vibrations manipulating the lower ones, jacob became uncomfortable and packed up his backpack and decided to leave, he and i smoked a cig just me and him and i asked him what the fuck was going on and he said "isnt it better on this side" and his hair changed colors and the grass turned neon green and got really long and flowed in the wind and i was overcome with a sense of ease and all the visuals and the comfort left with him slowly as he walked to his car.
ok here is where things get wierd, now im peaking.
i went inside and went into the basement where gill and adam where tripping, i slowly started catching on how they where mocking my every move and the fact that i wasnt saying anything, this felt horrible as these two are supposed to be my best friends. adam suggested that he wanted to smoke some weed and when i went for my grinder, he clapped his hands once and said "see? thats how easy it is" this was unlike them, especially gill. i had a strong feeling gill was being controlled. time felt as if it had stopped and i had this sense of impending doom as if my soul was being destroyed, unlike anything i have ever felt on any drug ever. i started thinking adam was god and that gill was his brainwashed minion and that i died and this was the eternal hell i had to live in as punishment for all my sins. (i have quite the past) i started asking "why cant i talk" and "am i dead?" all while continued to be mocked and ridiculed. things get kind of blurry from here but i vividly remember thinking that i thought i had killed everyone and adam asked me if i could see the red and blue lights and him and gill kept making jokes about blood. i started going up and down the stairs in confusion of reality, i went upstairs to watch the few people still awake play videogames but i thought they where mocking me too. i came down stairs and i saw blood all over adams tattoos (which was actually there he had just gotten fresh tatoos) and he was ripping the plastic wrap off of them saying "welcome to hell" and "im gunna fucking rape you" at this i paniced and decided i had to do SOMETHING. there was blood all over the walls. i went up to my room (on the 3rd floor) and went to the main floor walked past the two roomies still up playing videogames and went out front only to find adam chillin on the stoop like he KNEW i was going to leave...
i looked at him and said "i cant go back in there" he said something fucked up that i cant remember, then i said "why are you such a big part of this?" and i cant remember his response, i walked out the front gate and he followed me and was asking where i was going, all maintaining his cocky god complex attitude, skipping along side me. i decided to lie and say the gas station and that i changed my mind and when we went back to the house i snuck out the back and ran for my life, i wandered around for hours, lost. all the city blocks and houses looked the same, sometimes walking up and down the same block 10 or 20 times because both sides looked identical, the sky was black and grey that night with lightning and clouds but no rain. adam tried to call me and i threw my phone because i was scared he could find me. i thought the house i lived in was a privilege in this hell and the fact that i left meant i couldnt go back or find it. i thought i was going to have to walk around until the world rotted away and ceased to exist and i would float in space for eterinity and join all the others that have met this same fate. eventually i get back in my head after hours of begging for my life back and realize that gil and adam where probably worried sick about me and i go back home this was about 3-4 hours later, apperently adam had been crying and calling hospitals and wandering around looking for me thinking that i had died. we re-dosed a 1/2 hit and finished the strip off and i was really quiet the rest of the morning.
4th trip was a few weeks later when i started to feel better and adam wanted to trip again, i was hesitant but him and gill are my best friends i fgured it might fix me.
nope.
it was fine for a few hours we where all having fun but then i started getting anxious and i coulndt tell if they where mocking me or not although it felt as if they where, because they kept laughing for no reason it was only one hit of real acid this time. i was laying on the couch as the anxiety started and adam said "___ is like i dont like the way this stuff (acid) makes me feel" and i said why the fuck would you say that? he replies with "im in and out." he also asked me if i ever feel like i am always being watched, and if me and gill have ever played with a ouji board...
him and gill make funny parody rap songs that they kept on listening to that i also have convinced myself are all about mocking me, even though logically. that would be such a waste of time, unless the universe is actually a huge joke on me anyways.
i have never felt the same since, i felt like i was still dead for about 2 months
i am sober now, every time i smoke weed i get flash backs and it feels like everyone is talking in code mocking me.
i often feel as if all musical lyrics ever written are mocking me.
i quit drinking because it just makes me quiet now.
i had extreme social anxiety, depression and depersonalization following trip number 3
now that i am sober i feel much better. i exersise and have hobbies and passions to keep my mind off the delusions. although sometimes they get the best of me.
Thanks for reading
Namaste.
Tagged by Xorkoth
substancecode_lsd
substancecode_lysergamides
explevel_inexperienced
exptype_negative
exptype_spiritual
exptype_lifechanging
exptype_difficult
exptype_disaster
roacode_sublingual
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