TDS The Suicide Support Thread

[herbavore]

^Sounds like you have had so much to overcome. Heart pain coupled with physical pain is more than many can bear. I am full of admiration for your stamina and the compassion you have found for others within your own survival.

 

[Amaraline]

^Sounds like you have had so much to overcome. Heart pain coupled with physical pain is more than many can bear. I am full of admiration for your stamina and the compassion you have found for others within your own survival.

Thanks man, I really appreciate it. And sure, it's difficult, but over time I learned to be grateful for what I do have. After all, I can walk with a cane now. I very easily could have ended up a paraplegic with my right leg amputated if not for an excellent surgeon. So yeah, I feel a kinship with anyone who feels truly despondent like I once was.

 

[herbavore]

^Yeah, I hear you. I'm almost 63 and I have felt so much despair at different times in my life. I still do. But gratitude comes easier when the curtain is coming down anyway.

 

[Erikmen]

^Sounds like you have had so much to overcome. Heart pain coupled with physical pain is more than many can bear. I am full of admiration for your stamina and the compassion you have found for others within your own survival.

So true! It seems you have carried such a have luggage singularly!

Originally Posted by herbavore
^Sounds like you have had so much to overcome. Heart pain coupled with physical pain is more than many can bear. I am full of admiration for your stamina and the compassion you have found for others within your own survival.

 

[sirnatural]

normal

Welcome to the new Suicide Support Thread.​

The last edition can be found here in TDS archives section.

We also have an extensive list of mental health support and resources, which can be found here!

Please do not hesitate in venting out your feelings in here.

And don't hesitate to send a personal message to myself or any other Recovery moderator if needed ​

hey everyone I'm 3 weeks sober except kratom and took my last dose 4 hours ago. was going to quit testerday, today i felt so mindful and good i rewarded myself. not doing that today. i have to have total abstinence

 

[Erikmen]

First of all congrats for your sobriety. I agree with you that you could search for a more comprehensive abstinence. At least from the substances you were addicted too. It can be quite helpful when you have cravings. Kratom could make you go for more and 'higher', so to speak.

 

[Dr.Mambo]

I just need to vent. Feeling really depressed, hopeless and lonely tonight. Worse than usual Anymore I don't feel I'm long for this world. Idk....Seems the only thing I enjoy or care about anymore is getting and staying high. Its a miserable and very lonely feeling. Just wish it'd end.

 

[Erikmen]

It's awful to feel depressed and it takes forever to get better. I have been so depressed for so long but at some point I realized it's more temporary than we think. The levels of depression are different. The sadness I was feeling later on was easier to cope. Sometimes you just need people around, although it seems like we don't want them nearby.
Whatever it is, it will pass, or get better!
Take care,
E.

 

[rarerran]

I'm depressed and because of health reasons I can't even get high. I have to cope while sober

 

[Erikmen]

I believe I know how frustrating that can be. Don't mean to be clichè but it does get better eventually. Everyone tells us to have patience but it's so difficult on such a short notice. You'll get better.
Hope you get better soon.

 

[Ziiirp]

What does suicide support mean in the context of this thread ? If someone passes the test of dedication to commit suicide I would provide (assumed I'd be qualified for that, the criteria for that predicate have to be evaluated in an independent commitee) advices regarding whether or how and when is the right time and state of mind to implement the planned deed of transforming their collective network of cells into something else entirely unknown (to me).

Unreflected dissuasion of transforming into another existence without empiric evidence is pathetic.

 

[Purposefull]

What does suicide support mean in the context of this thread ? If someone passes the test of dedication to commit suicide I would provide (assumed I'd be qualified for that, the criteria for that predicate have to be evaluated in an independent commitee) advices regarding whether or how and when is the right time and state of mind to implement the planned deed of transforming their collective network of cells into something else entirely unknown (to me).

Unreflected dissuasion of transforming into another existence without empiric evidence is pathetic.

Let me feel better that you aren't dead yet because I said it was a bad idea?
That's the only real thing I can think it really means in the grand scheme of things.
I've been suicidal more times than I like to talk about and hey, if by me sticking around awhile longer makes others feel good I'm ok with that I guess. I'm even ok if they want to feel superior for a second or two. They're going to die someday too and far be it from me to deny them just a few minutes of feeling like they might make a difference.

 

[Erikmen]

Suicide itself is a bad idea imho. I have discovered that one has no guarantees. You can wake up only to realize you are or will be impaired for life, a load to your family, friends and if you haven't those, a burden to society. There's no safe way to get to the other side. And nothing that ensures that it will be any better. Once, when I thought I had succeded it has lead me to a deep coma for 2-3 days. Couldn't either speak or hear when I woke up. I war literally in hell. That's when I stopped being that person.

Although it's a different experience for everyone, there's no happy or satisfactory end to this. Most people I know wants this because they believe it can't get any worse, but it can, it does. Whatever the solution is, it has to be done in this world in my uttermost honest opinion.

 

[LordOfTabs]

Who finds satisfaction in WANTING and knowingly being suicidal?

 

[Erikmen]

^ I don't think it's a conscious choice for some people .. more like a reaction to life, I guess.

 

[cappatown]

Been 4 months now since I have been in the hospital.. wish I would have done my OD differently. May not have been here now.

 

[Erikmen]

I have been there. There's no perfect way although we trust there is IMHO. We only get more injured and this can lead one to an impossible return. From a lot of experiences, not only mine, it's statistically easier to get impaired for life instead. Or if one succeed who guarantees you'll be in a better place.

 

[cappatown]

Erikman I don't know if it's because I'm high but I'm confused to if you were responding to me.

There is no perfect way for what, suicide? Well I took a massive amount of Xanax alone, now if I would have mixed it with alcohol- I think the outcome could have been different.

 

[toxicb]

Last year I was seriously contemplating suicide and had set my mind to it, I even tried ordering an euthanasia drug online.
First, the wu office was closing early, and the second time I went there (the next day) they couldn't find the city I was supposed to send the money to in their system.

I ended up not ordering the drug as I started taking Valium which reduced my anxiety. In a way it saved my life. At the time I was feeling sorry I will leave this world without traveling again, without seeing Asia, something I've wanted to do for ages. Having lived for 6 months in a SE Asian country I craved travel and adventure. I did it, and was happy for a while.
Valium also helped me get through rape , which happened 9 months ago, and I got no emotional support from my family (my mother blamed me for it). At the time I was traveling by myself so I had no support and I didn't talk to a therapist.
I'm not exactly suicidal now, but things are not great at all. I am thankful that I'm at a better place, but sometimes I think that I am not scared of death anymore, and this fact alone freaks me out. Valium has numbed me a lot. I get emotional and sad If I'm rejected, I cannot control my emotions and fall in love just as easily as before, but when I think of death, I'm numb. Or maybe just right now, because I don't think about it so much anymore....Hope I don't , ever again ...

 

[cappatown]

Still can't decide if I want to go back on my meds or just stockpile in case.