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Surely I can't be the only one.

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JustADudeYep

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Jan 15, 2015
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I tend to run out of dilaudid quite a ways out from my next fill date and it drives me insane every time. Soooo I swear to myself that I will for sure chill out and dole them out at a more proper pace on my next refill. But do I? Noooope. It's like 'fill day' is xmas and right off the bat I use a few days worth on the day they are filled....and the uphill battle begins! It's really just been like this over the last few months but I wanna slap myself. I mean I start counting down the damn days 2 weeks out from my appointment! Ugh. So dumb.
 
Yeah I don't run out ahead of time. That would be stressful and I take my scripted benzos for stress/anxiety, so I'd only be making things worse on myself.

Opiates might be another matter lol.
 
You need to slow your life down, and find something to fill the voids. Some sort of relaxing hobby or on line classes. YouTube is full of Pharmacology courses from University of Hawaii, and many other institutes.
Drugs are easy to relate to, and it is fascinating learning about how they work. There may be some pointers that help you cope once you understand how the gray matter works.

Just one suggestion. I know how hard this is. Either you get tired of living like this, and change it or Life will find a way to change it for you. It's better if you pull the trigger first, and make the changes YOU want.

Best to you, and it was a good idea to post. It shows you are concerned.
 
Keymaker, appreciate the advice but I actually need to speed my life up. I've had severe Crohn's disease since age 11. I am now 36. I managed to play sports, varsity sports in high school while on a weekly chemo shot. I did the college thing even while being insanely ill. At age 22 I was in the ER all of the time, but had never taken as much as Tylenol despite the excruciating pain. Well one visit, some woman doc was totally shocked that I had Crohns for 11 years and never any pain meds. She gave me IV morphine and prescribed me vicodin...and away we go! Onto Oxycodone and Oxycontin. Then it was Dilaudid and Fentanyl. All this time my tolerance rocketing. And honestly, up until about 9 months ago I never abused the pain meds. Not once the 15 years. But last Summer I had a PICC line and home health care, so I had all sterile stuff. I also had dilaudid pills. I had been in so much pain that I started injecting through my PICC line. Smh. That got yanked due to staph, and eventually I grabbed the needles. Wish I NEVER did it!

I am working on trying to kick it by weening off meds. Seems lime it was just a few months ago that I would only need like 1/2 of my dilaudid script and the rest just built up in a bottle. Wish I could get back to that point. My biggest issue is boredom. Ive been too sick to work for a few years now and sitting at home when you're sick from a chronic disease sucks and is depressing. That is why I said I need to speed my life back up! Somehow get back to healthy.
 
JustADudeYep said:
I tend to run out of dilaudid quite a ways out from my next fill date and it drives me insane every time. Soooo I swear to myself that I will for sure chill out and dole them out at a more proper pace on my next refill. But do I? Noooope. It's like 'fill day' is xmas and right off the bat I use a few days worth on the day they are filled....and the uphill battle begins! It's really just been like this over the last few months but I wanna slap myself. I mean I start counting down the damn days 2 weeks out from my appointment! Ugh. So dumb.
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I lived like this for close to 8 yrs...it was a methadone script from a pain mgt doc in my case, I was scripted a certain amount, but I took more every day, enough to get me feeling really good, and of course I wanted this to last all day, every day LOL I would usually run out like 5-12 days before I could refill my script..it was pure hell, I had to basically put my life on hold during those days, and many times, the night before the day I could refill my script, I could barely get any sleep, my body/mind was sooooo excited about getting the methadone again, i was an anxious mess, and as soon as the pharmacy opened on the refill day, I was in the parking lot, waiting for them to unlock the doors at 7am!

every month, I too assured myself this month was going to be different, I was going to get it under control, so I didnt have to go thru that shit so often, but that pill bottle was too tempting, was sooo easy to just take an extra 1 or 2.

I eventually met a connection for street drugs though, and things got much better (or worse depending on how you look at it), so I could still take as many methadone as I wanted, but now didnt matter if i ran out early, as I had a connect for street opiates...problem was though, since I was taking so much methadone, it blocked other opiates, so I had to either wait a few days to get anything or take a shitload to even feel it. I was never any good at waiting so i ended up spending alot of money during that week or so every month...I remember a couple times, I even ran my connection out of their supply.

Im so glad Im not living like this anymore!!!
 
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Good for you Fizz. From few months ago to now, it was worth trying, right?
 
Erikmen said:
Good for you Fizz. From few months ago to now, it was worth trying, right?
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OH YES! I never imagined suboxone could get this shit under control as good as it is doing!

As I told my sub doc, they need to be standing on street corners giving this shit away to junkies instead of creating all kinds of barriers to getting into sub mmt....why make it tough for people to get off the H..?? doesnt make sense to me, unless that is, they dont truly want people off dope, but thats a WHOLE other topic. lol
 
Dilaudid makes my heart rate drop in the 40's, although, I do enjoy the spine numbing feeling you get when they IV it at a hospital.

I can't make my Opanas last either, so don't feel bad. Lol

That's why I always keep methadone on hand for withdrawals.
 
Needles suck I've been trying to get away from them for years.. Its like they draw you in an never want you to leave!
 
Man, you are certainly not the only one!

Dilaudid is my vice I'm trying to escape...

~Verri
 
Definitely been there. It got to the point where I had to find a new doctor and try something that was non-opiate. Oddly, it works even better. Hang in there.
 
I feel you--Monday cant come fast enough, I cant wait to fill my script. I am having my mom maybe dole them out to me so I don't run out early again. I wish I had more self control or that my parents weren't involved... But it's better than this bullshit.

Luckily, I'm just on hydrocodone, I can't imagine withdrawing off dilaudid.
 
Lucy Bookit said:
I feel you--Monday cant come fast enough, I cant wait to fill my script. I am having my mom maybe dole them out to me so I don't run out early again. I wish I had more self control or that my parents weren't involved... But it's better than this bullshit.

Luckily, I'm just on hydrocodone, I can't imagine withdrawing off dilaudid.
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I saw your post on another board and just thought I'd throw my opinion in here for the OP.

After years of running out early and dealing with serious withdrawals, I finally got sick of it enough that I started looking for a solution to the problem. I ended up giving my Opana script to my wife. I get two pills every morning and I make it work. I can't begin to tell you the relief I feel knowing I will always have enough meds to make it to the next appointment. No if and's or but's, I will make it every month, no question about it. Now, it does suck to turn over some of your "free will" to another individual but if you have someone in your life that fits the bill and you trust unconditionally, give it a try. The trade-off for not being able to go ape shit the first day and whenever you get the itch is definitely worth knowing you won't have to deal with withdrawals ever again for mismanaging your meds. Good Luck!
 
We?re so much alike I?m severely chronically sick and I had been on prescription IV dilaudid for 3 years and now because of the opioid crisis they aren?t making as much and Puerto Rico was the place making the most of it so now that they aren?t able to there is a major shortage and since hospitals get first priority I?m not able to get the IV anymore and due to a gene defect that effects the way my body processes medication I don?t process dilaudid pills I got up to 16mg and it wasn?t even showing up in my blood or urine. So this last month I was forced to try and wean on 12 days worth of IV dilaudid after 3 years of taking it every 3 hours needless to say I was having severe withdrawal and I got desperate and started IVing pills through my picc line. I feel terrible about doing it but I don?t know what else to do I don?t want to deal with withdrawal and also we haven?t found any other pain meds that work for me other than ketamine which I am going to be getting nasally but in the meantime I?ve been IVing the pills while trying to wean myself properly but it?s really difficult when you?re in so much pain and in bed all day bored and I end up taking more than I?m supposed to for the day.
 
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