Fired Up! The February 2015 Getting and Staying Clean and Sober Thread

[Flowing]

Other than the nasty psych meds that I'm prescribed, I'm sober. I wonder if that even counts though? I've got about another month until I can start coming off all my psych meds and hopefully be able to be fully clean.

 

[phactor]

8 months and 26 days for me!

 

[wanting]

phactor--that's so awesome.

5 months and 26 days for me (but who's counting?). Every day is a little easier. PAWS still show up, but not as overwhelming. When I was about 2 months in, somebody on bluelight told me that the big turning point (after withdrawals) comes at 6 months. Every time I considered taking another pill, I remembered that, and it helped me to hold on. I can feel now that it is true. I think it is important to always remind newbies that getting past the first month is tough physically, but the mental troubles hang on for months after that. Without knowing that I was "normal" for feeling so bad for so long, I probably would have given in and taken more pills. Thank you to everyone who shares experiences...encourages...and reaches out.

phactor, neversick, herbavore, BlueSaffron...this means you especially! Love all of y'all.

 

[neversickanymore]

Great work wanting

Six months is a great average, but I have seen people need a little bit longer. Almost everybody without exception is out in under eight months. I just wanted to chime in with that because Id hate to see you reach six months and loose hope. Its real though I promise.

Have you added aerobic exercise into you recovery? It can both speed up recovery time and make it much easier to deal with.

Exercise and Brain Neurotransmission
Neurobiology of Exercise
Exercise 4 Health, Mental Health, and Addiction vs. The Endorphin Factory
Exercise 4 Health, Mental Health, and Addiction vs. I worked all that out
exercise and sleep

Chemicals and supplements to recover from opiate addiction
Diet & Neurogenesis


Many of life's failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up.
Thomas A. Edison

 

[phactor]

Great work wanting

Six months is a great average, but I have seen people need a little bit longer. Almost everybody without exception is out in under eight months. I just wanted to chime in with that because Id hate to see you reach six months and loose hope. Its real though I promise.

I have seen a few people need even longer, but they tended to be long term methadone users who were older. One of my favorite clients is in this position and has remained clean. What an inspiration.

But yeah, 3-6 months is when shit really starts to turn for most people. My sponsor with 30 years also tends to point out that at around 2 years it seems like the brain is almost fully recovered when it comes to the cognitive stuff.

 

[neversickanymore]

I have seen a few people need even longer, but they tended to be long term methadone users who were older. One of my favorite clients is in this position and has remained clean. What an inspiration.

But yeah, 3-6 months is when shit really starts to turn for most people. My sponsor with 30 years also tends to point out that at around 2 years it seems like the brain is almost fully recovered when it comes to the cognitive stuff.

Sounds about right esp for alcohol. I believe we can speed this up as well. I think participating regularly in something like Lumosity and taking up something that involves learning new complex movement like dance lessons would do a great deal to speed this up.

After only have been being able to sleep for like 3 to four hours for months.. one day right around 5 months I got really tired and slept for 12 a night for three nights. When i woke all my physical symptoms disappeared and it was like my brain went from a go cart engine to sports car.. it really was amazing. It continued to get better after that, but it was like a night and day difference at that point. I had been so blown out that i thought that my mind was working pretty good just being clean, boy was I wrong.

The only thing that held on a bit was the fatigue.. I think this was due to adrenal fatigue from a whole bunch of things. Prolonged non aerobic exercise really helped for that.. but the fatigue held on for about a year.

 

[Mehm]

BIG up everyone! And hi neversick, good to see you!!! Check off another 24 for me as well ?

 

[wanting]

Great work wanting

Six months is a great average, but I have seen people need a little bit longer. Almost everybody without exception is out in under eight months. I just wanted to chime in with that because Id hate to see you reach six months and loose hope. Its real though I promise.

Have you added aerobic exercise into you recovery? It can both speed up recovery time and make it much easier to deal with.

Exercise and Brain Neurotransmission
Neurobiology of Exercise
Exercise 4 Health, Mental Health, and Addiction vs. The Endorphin Factory
Exercise 4 Health, Mental Health, and Addiction vs. I worked all that out
exercise and sleep

Chemicals and supplements to recover from opiate addiction
Diet & Neurogenesis


Many of life's failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up.
Thomas A. Edison

I have added exercise, and yes, I think it put recovery into speed-mode. My fatigue was horrible for about three months. I joined a gym at the end of December and have been going regularly since then. I've been able to increase my stamina pretty significantly, and I noticed that it makes me feel much better the next morning, after a workout. Mornings used to be the worst...now they are the best time.

Funny, today is a really bad PAWS day. I'm glad I checked in here to read how it can linger longer than I thought. I might have gotten depressed. Instead, I'm drinking herbal tea and binge-watching "Z Nation" (no judging!). I might drag myself to the gym later.

 

[wanting]

So much better today. Didn't make it to the gym yesterday. Didn't do much of anything. Today I feel a bit recharged.

 

[fullycaffeinated]

Hey guys, I really need some support. I'll try to make my back story as short as possible.

I'm a 30 year old opiate addict. Currently I'm using about 4-8 bags a day of powder heroin. I started out about five years ago, Vicodin quickly escalated into snorted oxycodone and I've been using heroin for about two years now, always snorted. I went to rehab last fall, came out and immediately relapsed. I finally found a bupe doctor last January, and I started at 20 mg a day with a tolerance of about 4 bundles a day. I was able to quit heroin for the most part, but I kept using once or twice a month. In December, I had an unexpected UA, pissed dirty, and got kicked out of my program. I had tapered down on Bupe and I didn't think it would be a big deal to make the jump.

Fast forward two months and I have spent thousands on dope. I cashed out a 401k from an old job with the intent of buying a car and straightening out my life, and I just blew it all on dope. Almost $10,000 gone. I really needed the money. My mom was just diagnosed with cancer and I want to move closer to them (I live two hours away), but now I spent all the money I needed to do that. I'm so upset with myself. I honestly just want to die and I think if I do not get clean soon I will probably kill myself.

Every day for the last two weeks I have been trying to stop. Almost every day, I end up using. I can't seem to get through the withdrawal, even though I have done it countless times before. Like at least 100. But now I am close to losing my job and so I can't really go to work sick... and there is so much on my mind. When I don't have dope I get so anxious and so mad at myself for ruining the chance I had to get ahead financially and get my life in order.

I just really need support. I need help getting clean. I need to think of ways to stop spending my money. Ways to get it out of my hands before I spend it. And I need to fix myself. I'm so broken I don't think I'll ever stay clean like this...

 

[PriestTheyCalledHim]

Still sober here, have been since August of 2012, and not using anything. But I've had some people close to me, and my cat die and using anything would not help.

 

[wanting]

The most amazing thing happened. Since I quit pills, I've been obsessively counting my days clean. It was a daily reminder of how far I've come. Two days ago, I made six months. I had planned to come on here and post, but I got so busy living my life that the anniversary slipped by me. This feels like the next step in my sobriety--being able to forget (for a moment) to count the days of my struggle...living instead of obsessing every hour of every day...feeling--dare I say it?--like a "normal" person. So, it's six months and two days, and I'm feeling good.

Neversick: Based on your advice, I've been stepping up my physical activity, going to the gym every day instead of when I felt "good enough." It really seems to make a difference. My body feels "sparked" in a way I haven't felt in about five years. Thank you!

 

[Captain.Heroin]

I have a few months off SUBOXONE.

 

[wanting]

Good for you, Captain.Heroin! How are you feeling otherwise? I worry about you.

 

[herbavore]

^wanting, that is so great that you were so engaged that you didn't notice the number of days. That's what it's all about!

 

[laCster]

so i took some adderall today, and it is really making me want to do other drugs , specifically heroin/opiates! it is making me in a bad place ... i know i am not going to use today, but it just brings me back to the times where i would mix amphetamines, opiates, benzos, and marijuana and feel really good. i just hve to keep reminding myself why it is not a good idea to use opiates and drugs. i have come so far and the misery i am experiencing now is nothing compared to the misery of withdrawaling from opiates and all the other shit that comes with addiction...

i keep telling myself the feeling i am craving is nothing but a lie, that the high is never as good as it was, and it really doesnt make me feel truly whole and happiness. i have to remember life is not only about being happy. i just need to get through today without using any more drugs and i will be ok. i know everything will be ok..

im going to go plawy guitar. if i jam out, i just lose myself in the music and that really helps....

i love yall!!!!

 

[wanting]

Thanks, herbivore! You've been with me through the last six months, and I really appreciate your support! Big hugs!!!

 

[GenericName12]

I work out at a gym that doubles as a homeless shelter. Tonight it is minus 25 degrees outside. Yes, minus.

I saw some people today on my way out lining up who were clearly in withdrawal. Broke my heart. Saw a young couple sitting on the floor hugging each other.

Seeing this stuff is a constant reminder of how close to this me and any addict can be to this.

Grateful to be sober and going home to my warm apartment to spend valentines day with my girlfriend. I wouldn't have any of this if I wasn't sober.

Edit: I apologize if I offended anyone in this situation. It wasn't my intention.

 

[myloveishim]

Today is 101 days off everything!! I quit H and methadone cold turkey. Hasn't been easy but easier than living to use and using to live!!

 

[veodo]

Congratulations everyone!

Today is 15 February, 50% of the mont done!!