Broken Neck and Pain Meds

[Ashkeyk]

This is my first post on Bluelight. In March 2014 I fell 12 feet from the roof of my house and landed head first. I sustained injuries to my neck. The imaging showed that I fractured C7 and ruptured the disks in C2, C3, and C4.

I was prescribed oxycodone 10/325 in the ER. They sent me home with a hard collar. Over the intervening months I have had a great deal of pain from these injuries, and the rehab doc has prescribed lots of oxycodone.

I'm thankful to not be paralyzed or dead. During my last visit with the doctor, I somehow misunderstood that he was prescribing an eight-week supply of oxycodone 5/325 @ 6 per day, not a four week supply as he had before. He intended for me to take a lot less, but if he told me this I don't remember.

On some days, when the pain was worse, I was taking 8 per day, and on some days less. I'm now three weeks without pain meds.

I had mild withdrawal symptoms, and the physical pain in my neck has increased, but the biggest issue is the insane craving for this drug. I've never experienced anything like this, and it's scaring me. I'm 50 years old with a wonderful career, a wife and kids. I have never smoked, I don't drink, I don't even drink coffee on a regular basis, but I understand the risk for addiction regardless of age, race or social class.

The doc recommended a procedure that will likely improve the pain level, but the insurance company denied his recommendation. I don't have the money to pay for it out of pocket.

I'm between the devil and the deep blue sea.

Any advice? I'll be able to refill the oxy prescription in a week, but I'm not sure I should.

 

[neversickanymore]

. I'm between the devil and the deep blue sea.

A very Warm welcome to BL

It looks like you need to learn how to swim

So this is where is see that you are at and your situation does not come around that often. It looks like you have recognized peril much earlier than most... it appears you have escaped physical dependence, but have been saddled with an addiction. This is indicated by significant cravings with the abstenece of most of the physical withdrawal symptoms. This is very common with highly addicting drugs that do not produce physical dependence.. like most pure stimulants.

If you fill the prescription and continue, you risk a physical dependence added on. This is not something you want to add on. Most people, in the beginning, focus on the physical aspect. You clearly seem to be familiar with the stronger, harder to beat psychological aspect. They are totally different aspects, but are so commonly dancing together that they are often perceived as one.

Here is what drug addiction is.. we ended up logging in the use of the drug we are addicted to into our natural drives. The drive to eat is hunger. We can choose never to eat, but we can never choose not to be hungry. We can choose never to drink, but we can't choose not to be thirsty.

We can choose never to do the drug we are addicted to, but we can't choose never to desire to to do the drug.

What happens is the drugs we become addicted to, stimulates the mesolimbic reward pathway or in other words cause dopamine stimulation. When we do things required for the substance and promotion of life we receive a dopamine reward. When we eat, drink water, learn things, have sexual gratification.. we get a dopamine "rush."

The drugs we become addicted produce a very strong rush of this same chemical. This can and does in many cases result in a drive very similar and often much stronger to hunger, thirst, etc.

Here are some great threads covering topics that you will likely find enlightening and relevant.

Addiction Guide
The Brain and Addiction
Twelve-Step Addiction Recovery Support Groups
SMART Recovery (Support Group information and discussion)
Varied Approaches to Addiction Recovery

So many good people here battling just what you seem to be experiencing.. hope to see you stay around

 

[Ashkeyk]

Thank you for the kind reply. The world seems like a better place today.

Confession is good for the soul.

 

[neversickanymore]

^anytime and it certainly is.. no fun having all that extra baggage is it. :D

Here is a good thread you may want to join in on.. Fresh Starts and New Lives. The January 2015 getting and staying sober thread.

Good place to find support and make any little needed confessions as well.

EDIT: Here is also some great information on PAWS.

PAWS LINKS
Why We Don’t Get Better Immediately: Post-acute Withdrawal Syndrome (PAWS)
Post Acute Withdrawal (PAW) Excerpted From “Staying Sober” By: Terence T. Gorski
Post-acute-withdrawal syndrome Wiki

Exercise and Brain Neurotransmission
Neurobiology of Exercise
Exercise 4 Health, Mental Health, and Addiction vs. The Endorphin Factory
Exercise 4 Health, Mental Health, and Addiction vs. I worked all that out
exercise and sleep

Chemicals and supplements to recover from opiate addiction
Diet & Neurogenesis


it is a powerful thing to keep our thoughts possitive and here are some threads many of us use to help us do this.
Managing depressive thinking
Good things about being off drugs/getting sober
Share Something Positive from Your Day vs. It's All Around You
Today I Am Thankful For... Ver. 4 Infinite Chances in an Amazing World

Here is the mindfulness thread.
Anhedonia MEGA Thread

 

[BlueSaffron]

I would say don't refill it, but I don't say that assuming that that will be easy. As a longtime opiate addict all I can say is that the longer you go, the harder it is to stop, the further away "normal" gets, until you dont even really remember how it feels to be off drugs and feeling good. The longer you're on the rollercoaster, the more it seems normal, and the more being at a standstill feels odd and uncomfortable. Just skip the years of using, trying to stop, stopping, using again, going through withdrawal, rationalizing, going to rehab, having to confess to your wife and children you have an addiction - just skip all that, and stay off the pills. Maybe try to find some alternate pain meds - maybe gabapentin? It can be habit forming but not for everyone and not as bad as opiates. Maybe can you do an appeal on the insurance decision? I'd try to exhaust all other avenues before you decide to go back on the pills. In another instance I might say to take them, but you said you were taking more than you were supposed to, and now you're having strong cravings - a sure sign of addiction and a sign you may not be able to just take them as prescribed.

Whatever you do, like NSA said, stick around, there are helpful people here and we're all fighting the same battle. Good luck

 

[Ashkeyk]

Thank you for the insight.

I asked my doctor to help me appeal the insurance company decision. He said he would write a letter to them, and he thinks there's a good chance we will be successful.

I haven't asked for alternative meds. I don't feel like doing much except what I have to. I'm gaining weight because it is very painful to do all but the most gentle exercise.

I worked as crowd control in an in-patient drug and alcohol treatment center for three years. I see myself going down the path I heard about during the time I worked there.

 

[Ashkeyk]

Thank you for all the information.

I read the PAWS article and found it very helpful. I'll look through the other material too.

i have a job that requires high-level abstract thinking, and lately I just stare at the computer screen. Nothing makes sense. Now I know why this is happening. It's comforting to know the mental fog will pass in time.

 

[herbavore]

I just wrote a reply to the thread you started about the Huffington post article and in it I took issue with the statement in the article that people don't get addicted by taking prescriptions after surgeries etc--little did I know that has been your experience!

Anyway, I am certainly glad that you found us and that you not only survived your fall but escaped without paralysis. What an ordeal, though, nonetheless. I think that by staying informed (and you cannot count on doctors for this) and paying close attention to what is happening in both your body and your mind that you will be able to come through the dependency.

Hopefully your employers understand the continuing problems associated with your recovery from such a drastic accident. (And if you are an independent, give yourself a break.)