AnythingEverything
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Oct 17, 2014
- Messages
- 540
So I've been on a benzo taper for a bit over a year now, the same time as I gave up my opiate habit and went onto 32mg of suboxone maintenance a day. I was doing really well and got down to 20mg of valium a day but twice in the last few weeks I've purchased 120 x 2mg xanax and gone through them in about maybe a week.
Both times (like every other time I've bought drugs in my life) I've said to myself I'll just take one every so often and 240mg of xanax will last me aaaaaages. Ha. So it's been a few days of taking over 20mg a day on top of my suboxone, diazepam and other psych drugs and I'm again freaking out about going back to my measley 20mg of valium a day and feeling like shite, I HATE benzo withdrawals more than anything. So I'm just about to order some more but I'm wondering if maybe I should get clonazepam this time and try to use them to taper a little bit. I've never been successful moderating or tapering anything myself but I'm thinking with the longer half life it might be an easier transition back to my teeny amount of Valium?
I've never had clonaz, only xanax,Valium, lorazepam and temazepam years back when they used to come in those little oily footballs that you could shoot up (oh and about 20 recently that I couldn't resist taking from a family members medicine cupboard on the day of my grandmas funeral.....I know, I'm an awful person) Is there much difference between x and clonaz? If so, what?
I know I should just not get ANY more and get back on track but I'm really craving heroin right now and my depression and anxiety are awful as I've just changed meds and I feel like the benzos are the only thing stopping me. I have one old contact still in my life for smack, she's a few hours away but as well all know, what's a few hours when you're an addict?
My husband is suss obviously because the stupid amounts I'm taking are making me nod out whenever I sit down (well for the first couple of days they were) and I'm spending a lot of money on this crap. I'm so close to putting in a $700 order because I tell myself it will last me ages....when I know all it will do is will send me back to detox and upheave and risk losing my family again. I was doing so well on my supervised taper and I feel like I'm heading down that terrible path again.
Anyway. Too much rambling. What's the difference between xanax and clonaz apart from the half life?
Both times (like every other time I've bought drugs in my life) I've said to myself I'll just take one every so often and 240mg of xanax will last me aaaaaages. Ha. So it's been a few days of taking over 20mg a day on top of my suboxone, diazepam and other psych drugs and I'm again freaking out about going back to my measley 20mg of valium a day and feeling like shite, I HATE benzo withdrawals more than anything. So I'm just about to order some more but I'm wondering if maybe I should get clonazepam this time and try to use them to taper a little bit. I've never been successful moderating or tapering anything myself but I'm thinking with the longer half life it might be an easier transition back to my teeny amount of Valium?
I've never had clonaz, only xanax,Valium, lorazepam and temazepam years back when they used to come in those little oily footballs that you could shoot up (oh and about 20 recently that I couldn't resist taking from a family members medicine cupboard on the day of my grandmas funeral.....I know, I'm an awful person) Is there much difference between x and clonaz? If so, what?
I know I should just not get ANY more and get back on track but I'm really craving heroin right now and my depression and anxiety are awful as I've just changed meds and I feel like the benzos are the only thing stopping me. I have one old contact still in my life for smack, she's a few hours away but as well all know, what's a few hours when you're an addict?
My husband is suss obviously because the stupid amounts I'm taking are making me nod out whenever I sit down (well for the first couple of days they were) and I'm spending a lot of money on this crap. I'm so close to putting in a $700 order because I tell myself it will last me ages....when I know all it will do is will send me back to detox and upheave and risk losing my family again. I was doing so well on my supervised taper and I feel like I'm heading down that terrible path again.
Anyway. Too much rambling. What's the difference between xanax and clonaz apart from the half life?
. I really know I shouldn't get anymore, ever. Last binge I was able to go back to my taper without any ill effects and I might be lucky again this time but I can't keep doing it. I'm pretty sure I'm stable on my new meds now and I have just a small amount of x left so I should taper that down a bit and just stick to my original plan.