Hello everyone, happy new year and happy holidays... This is my first post here at bluelight
i am a long time lurker and have been reading forums and learning. From everyone for a few years.
so here's my story in a nutshell... Back injury few surgerys pain management 2 years ago lost my job lost my insurance and found H as a cheap and easy to obtain supplement for my oxy addiction.
Ok so I been an addict 5/6 years but on pain meds about 7 years... In the last 5 years I have tried
2 cold turkeys using OTC's didn't make it past day three on either attempt . I went down to Mexico and had an ibogaine treatment got myself 2/3 months clean time on that attempt. I tried suboxone prescribed by a dr
but didn't even make it thru the induction period. It just made me feel horrible . Not perc initiated withdrawals
but very nassuas and al out like a humming or buzzing of my body like I was shaking on the inside.Also I did a 9 day rehab with methodone and some other scripts to help. I used the first day I got out. My last attempt was a
ibogaine treatment in the US on the black market. That got me a few months clean time but I fell right back in.
so here I am again wanting nothing more then to be clean. To be free from this monkey that been on my back for what seems like forever.. Problem is I am currently unemployed,broke and borrowed to the max. I don't have many options at this point. I wish I could afford another ibogaine treatment which for me seems to be what worked best and gave me the best chance at a clean life but finically its not an option. I know that I can't make it cold turkey that I will fold..
So I'm thinking of actually having myself put on lock down. Not being able to quit in day three when things get rough.I have a friend that's is willing and sadistic enough to leave me locked down no matter what I try to pull or how much
like cry or bull crap.. I'm in good health for a junkie and doubt I would be at any risk of dying during it. I know addicts kick In jail all the time.. I just wanna be clean.. I just don't know how to make it thru the withdrawals without caving in when it gets to rough. I know some will say if I can't tough it out then I don't really want it but it my heart I know I do and I feel like if I am able to get thru the withdrawal stages and follow up with a after care program I have in place that I could make it this time. It's just getting thru the withdrawals .. So does anyone have any thoughts or advice?
Also if anyone has any questions about ibogaine I would be glad to answer anything I can about it...
I will do an intro post soon and if I decide to go threw with this lockdown habit breaker I will try my best to keep everyone a foot on how it goes ... Thanks again everyone...
i am a long time lurker and have been reading forums and learning. From everyone for a few years.
so here's my story in a nutshell... Back injury few surgerys pain management 2 years ago lost my job lost my insurance and found H as a cheap and easy to obtain supplement for my oxy addiction.
Ok so I been an addict 5/6 years but on pain meds about 7 years... In the last 5 years I have tried
2 cold turkeys using OTC's didn't make it past day three on either attempt . I went down to Mexico and had an ibogaine treatment got myself 2/3 months clean time on that attempt. I tried suboxone prescribed by a dr
but didn't even make it thru the induction period. It just made me feel horrible . Not perc initiated withdrawals
but very nassuas and al out like a humming or buzzing of my body like I was shaking on the inside.Also I did a 9 day rehab with methodone and some other scripts to help. I used the first day I got out. My last attempt was a
ibogaine treatment in the US on the black market. That got me a few months clean time but I fell right back in.
so here I am again wanting nothing more then to be clean. To be free from this monkey that been on my back for what seems like forever.. Problem is I am currently unemployed,broke and borrowed to the max. I don't have many options at this point. I wish I could afford another ibogaine treatment which for me seems to be what worked best and gave me the best chance at a clean life but finically its not an option. I know that I can't make it cold turkey that I will fold..
So I'm thinking of actually having myself put on lock down. Not being able to quit in day three when things get rough.I have a friend that's is willing and sadistic enough to leave me locked down no matter what I try to pull or how much
like cry or bull crap.. I'm in good health for a junkie and doubt I would be at any risk of dying during it. I know addicts kick In jail all the time.. I just wanna be clean.. I just don't know how to make it thru the withdrawals without caving in when it gets to rough. I know some will say if I can't tough it out then I don't really want it but it my heart I know I do and I feel like if I am able to get thru the withdrawal stages and follow up with a after care program I have in place that I could make it this time. It's just getting thru the withdrawals .. So does anyone have any thoughts or advice?
Also if anyone has any questions about ibogaine I would be glad to answer anything I can about it...
I will do an intro post soon and if I decide to go threw with this lockdown habit breaker I will try my best to keep everyone a foot on how it goes ... Thanks again everyone...