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  • BDD Moderators: Keif’ Richards | negrogesic

Chaining myself to a radiator to kick H

N

Navione

Greenlighter
Joined
Jan 2, 2015
Messages
4
Hello everyone, happy new year and happy holidays... This is my first post here at bluelight
i am a long time lurker and have been reading forums and learning. From everyone for a few years.
so here's my story in a nutshell... Back injury few surgerys pain management 2 years ago lost my job lost my insurance and found H as a cheap and easy to obtain supplement for my oxy addiction.

Ok so I been an addict 5/6 years but on pain meds about 7 years... In the last 5 years I have tried
2 cold turkeys using OTC's didn't make it past day three on either attempt . I went down to Mexico and had an ibogaine treatment got myself 2/3 months clean time on that attempt. I tried suboxone prescribed by a dr
but didn't even make it thru the induction period. It just made me feel horrible . Not perc initiated withdrawals
but very nassuas and al out like a humming or buzzing of my body like I was shaking on the inside.Also I did a 9 day rehab with methodone and some other scripts to help. I used the first day I got out. My last attempt was a
ibogaine treatment in the US on the black market. That got me a few months clean time but I fell right back in.
so here I am again wanting nothing more then to be clean. To be free from this monkey that been on my back for what seems like forever.. Problem is I am currently unemployed,broke and borrowed to the max. I don't have many options at this point. I wish I could afford another ibogaine treatment which for me seems to be what worked best and gave me the best chance at a clean life but finically its not an option. I know that I can't make it cold turkey that I will fold..

So I'm thinking of actually having myself put on lock down. Not being able to quit in day three when things get rough.I have a friend that's is willing and sadistic enough to leave me locked down no matter what I try to pull or how much
like cry or bull crap.. I'm in good health for a junkie and doubt I would be at any risk of dying during it. I know addicts kick In jail all the time.. I just wanna be clean.. I just don't know how to make it thru the withdrawals without caving in when it gets to rough. I know some will say if I can't tough it out then I don't really want it but it my heart I know I do and I feel like if I am able to get thru the withdrawal stages and follow up with a after care program I have in place that I could make it this time. It's just getting thru the withdrawals .. So does anyone have any thoughts or advice?

Also if anyone has any questions about ibogaine I would be glad to answer anything I can about it...

I will do an intro post soon and if I decide to go threw with this lockdown habit breaker I will try my best to keep everyone a foot on how it goes ... Thanks again everyone...
 
Also any thought on the vitamin C megadose? There are very few threads on it and all seem very mixed with half saying it works and half saying won't work. If anyone here has tried this successfully please let me know and any additional info like dosing instructions other meds to help. I would be interested in hearing anything about it as
long as its first hand.., I don't wanna hear that the mail mans sisters boyfriend did it and it worked great or that a friend of a friend tried it and it didn't help at all,,, I would like to hear it from someone with personal experience. Thanks everyone again
i hope everyone's 2015 is better then there 2014 no matter how great 2014 was to you...
 
Wow,thats some old school shit right there!

Ive actually been through something similar,i was locked in my home for a week(done this a couple of times),the person who was supervising me took the keys,locked us in the house and the hid the keys.Needles to say i went nuts,tried to jump from the balcony to escape(i live on 2nd floor) and some dangerous shit went down.

My advice would be that if you decide to go through with this,dont fight it,dont change your mind in the middle or day 2 of the detox,struggling,screaming and acting like a lunatic will just make things worse(it surely did for me),whereas if you "bite the bullet" and accept that this is gonna be it for some days,youll prolly be suprised of how milder the WDs will be.

If you get the person wholl assist you to give you a couple of loperamides and maybe a benzo(along with food and water obviously) every now and then that will prolly help alot,although under no circumstances try to have all the pills in your hands,thinking youll be able to control it.That usually doesnt happen and we can do some serious stupid and dangerous things while in WDs(i had a lot of pills in one of my forced detoxes,i wonder how didnt i die,was popping them like candy).

Unfortunately i have no knowledge about the Vit Cs,but some benzos,loperamide and maybe some weed would prolly help you.Gabapentin/Lyrica is said to also help but havent tried it.

Good luck!
 
Thanks for the advice black hat.... I'm very determined and I have a plan for after I get thru the withdrawals. In the past I always thought after I got clean I wouldn't be stupid enought to do it to myself again. But here I am again. So this time I set up some counseling and I found out where there are N.A meetings in my area. Im getting to old for this ride and missing out on to much life.

I read somewhere yesterday that when you are using an hour goes by in a minute but when you are clean a minute seems like an hour. It rang so true to me. Needless to say I'm not looking forward to the next 7/10 days... That's for sure...
 
Again if anyone with first hand knowledge about this vitamin C megadose please please please give me what ever info you have.
I have a big tub of sodium absorbate vitamin C and multi vitamin on hand . As far as the protocol all I am missing is the proteins
but I don't wanna make thing worse or make myself sick from taking to much vitamin C so until I hear from a few people with first hand knowledge I won't try it.

There are a few threads on here with people swearing it works and ofcourse the naysayer who say not that it doesn't work that you can reaIMOlly mess yourself up taking that much vitamin C. It's so hard to got good legit info about this...
 
True that. Good luck. I wish I had some advice but I dont. I used oxys for a week straight once and coming down off them was a 3 day exercise in agony. That was 4 years ago and needless to say I havent had any since.

The agony aint worth the high I got.
 
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