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Fresh Starts and New Lives. The January 2015 getting and staying sober thread.

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^yeah im 28 now .... finding out in fact that I can "will" myself to feeling well enough without amphetamines..... I honestly think that I use it medicinally.... i was on adderall since 7th grade , and the adderall just became so expensive with no insurance. .

I've adopted a less is more mentality, because when i do to much without benzo's or opaites to come down with , its rough. . After some time, you really can't function without some rest... Recently i did 4 days without drugs, and then 10 days... and it was good, sort of refreshing, so when I went back on em it was with gusto,,, now I know that 1 day on meth means you need to take 1 day off meth. (at least)

As a musician I'm hoping that I will play music at all while I withdraw, from my experience the more drugs - the more better jamz and output ... cause it takes a certain kind of mentality... but i know if I can still do the band thing ( im the singer songwriter) whilst sober, our popularity will increase.
 
Yeah, I was on Ritalin, as a kid … I then found my aunt's scripts of amph diet pills…. then onto the meth in college.
I used it medicinally - got me through school, although I had to plan when to use it due to the comedowns - which didn't work well, ended up becoming dependent upon it completely. I did a geographic with a friend and left the country. It was difficult to travel without using, but due to lack of availability (luckily there was a lot of hash where i was too (then)), I was able to stay off the meth. I wonder if I never left San Diego if I would have been able to will it on my own, to quit.

It is possible indeed if you really want to do it, I tapered with other drugs and got off them on my own. Getting help is okay too. Less is more, good point, and once you drop your tolerance … less can work, then it can be dropped completely! :)
And yes, without comedown meds the experience is very stressful. I used to smoke mj to comedown, but benzos are better, or Seroquel.


Good luck with the music, you can do it. I'm an artist, and meth helped my productivity in some ways, but I would always 'overdo' my paintings, mess them up and not know when to stop. It might take a while … but it takes what it takes and is absolutely worth ime to be off all the stuff. I'm a bit sensitive to other's energies, but hoping this will pass. I am finally feeling like myself somewhat again. :)
 
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Right. I'm done with this stupid bullshit. I'm getting off suboxone. 1 mg for the next three days, then either half a mg for the next three days or skip for the next three days then off. I have Ativan and I can get more. I only have to go through this once. I'm so tired of not being able to feel. It's not even like subs make me happy ffs, you'd think it wouldn't be so hard to stop... but seriously I am so fed up of this, and everything. I'm going to make a change in my life. Six months from now I want to look back and not even recognize the person writing this right now. I want to be clean, happier, healthier, in my own place and with a plan for the future, and I'm going to start tomorrow. This whole thing is so unbelievablly STUPID. I'm just done being half the person I could be.
 
motiv311 said:
i was gettingback into heroin.... I finally gave it up this year (2014) ... same with the benzo's..... Now i'm just a meth user, and without the other drugs, its not as fun, so thinking about giving it up for 2015
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I´m really sorry to hear that.
wish you luck and perseverance..
 
laCster said:
how can i learn to accept that i am just not a morning person? what can i do to make things easier to deal with in the mornings?
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Im am the almighty lord and deity of "NOT a morning" people. =D

This has been a godsend to me.. Philips go light

It helps us fool the brain into adjusting the natural and genetic circadian rhythm in the direction we want. I also take melatonin five hours before i want go to sleep and limit blue light exposure as bed time nears.. sunglasses after seven pm when i can.
 
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BlueSaffron said:
Right. I'm done with this stupid bullshit. I'm getting off suboxone. 1 mg for the next three days, then either half a mg for the next three days or skip for the next three days then off. I have Ativan and I can get more. I only have to go through this once. I'm so tired of not being able to feel. It's not even like subs make me happy ffs, you'd think it wouldn't be so hard to stop... but seriously I am so fed up of this, and everything. I'm going to make a change in my life. Six months from now I want to look back and not even recognize the person writing this right now. I want to be clean, happier, healthier, in my own place and with a plan for the future, and I'm going to start tomorrow. This whole thing is so unbelievablly STUPID. I'm just done being half the person I could be.
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I hear you BlueSaffron, you can do this. I was in the same place … just sick and tired of being sick and tired…. of having to rely on substances to function in life. Use the Ativan for a few days if you have it. I did. I don't know if I could have done it without Ativan, Seroquel… OTCS… Gabapentin and even used cough medicine mid day for 3 days and it REALLY helped me get through work…. I was having delirium/derealization symptoms.
Cough medicine doesn't work for everyone, and shouldn't be used for too long but makes a huge difference for some. This is just ime.
I had to take all that crap but it kept me off the opiates, looking back and wouldn't change a thing… Then I stopped all the withdrawal meds 5 6 days max into withdrawal.
Hang in there, you are worth it… ! ! <3
 
neversickanymore said:
Im am the almighty lord and deity of "NOT a morning" people. =D

This has been a godsend to me.. Philips go light

It helps us foo the brain into adjusting the natural and genetic circadian rhythm in the direction we want. I also take melatonin five hours before i want go to sleep and limit blue light exposure as bed time nears.. sunglasses after seven pm when i can.
Click to expand...

wow thank you neversick! i have never seen one of those before!! it is hard for me to take melatonin because i work usually until 11pm, and i dont get home until around 12am. so i dont want to disrupt my circadian rhythm by taking it too late!

lol i wish i had the money for that light thing. i need to ask my mom if she can buy one for me!!


much love to captain and bluesaffron! life is so fucking hard, and it is 100000x harder with drugs involved. i commend you for embarking on a journey of bravery! your courage inspires me to stay sober! <3
 
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Hi, I been sober for four years and planning to stay clean and live healthier this year and upcoming.
To stay fit and sober, I do meditation, yoga, I am still connected to my counselor monitoring me since
my <treatment>. Tomorrow, I'll be doing my speech to one of my support groups to help
and enlightened others with my story. This year I'm planning to do more volunteers and services to
our church. High five for a better year and wishing a good health for everyone.
 
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^cool man. thanks for showing others that staying sober is possible!!
 
Got through the day on 1mg. Tomorrow 2nd day at 1mg, going to be hard cos I have to go be around people I dont want to be around for most of the day, but I'll do my best.

I did feel more clearheaded today and it honestly felt good.. I just wish it didnt come with a side order of tiredness and achyness and lowgrade depression.
 
I've been trucking along... haven't used any illegal, or alternative substances in months... Can't believe it. Just been busy. That's the best antidote to addiction for me, it seems.

Still, I know in my head I look forward to a future "vacation." I just don't schedule it.
 
I feel awful most of the time

Only parts of some days am I truly happy

I just fake being happy the rest of the time

If anything I have learned people appreciate me being disingenuine
 
Its not just you Captain... In general no one really wants to hear about other people's problems. Dont take it personally. xx
 
Seems like i have abused more in this month than i ever have before :(
Been a rough one, reaching a melting point several times in january alone..
Im glad ive finally remembered how awesome and helpful this place is.. until now ive felt so fucking out of reach of motivational beings who can actually give me reasons to want to clean up.
<3 <3 <3
Cant wait for feb
 
I relapsed tonight. I went and copped some dope and did some. I was just so physically uncomfortable, and I was so glad when my connect called back, and on the way to cop, but on the way home I suddenly felt sad. Of course I did it anyway. Now I feel better physically but mentally I can't really say I feel any better at all, even though my tolerance is low. I just feel like I let myself down. I should listen to my own advice "Its not going to feel how you think it's going to". I was just so tired of feeling that crappy WD feeling of no energy yet amped up and can't sit still. I hate that feeling so much. Now I have energy and I'm relaxed... and sad. Great tradeoff. *eyeroll* Theres more and I dont even feel like doing it.

I just want to feel NORMAL. I guess I need to just tough it out. going to .5 mg tomorrow like I planned to, fuck it.

I will fight through this fucking thing and I will win.
 
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The end of 2014 sucked and the beginning of 2015 sucked even more but I finally got what I wanted. I have finally battled against the mental health system and by threatening my pdoc with legal action, I now have gained control of what I am being prescribed and have a valid, slow taper plan off of Depakote ER and Klonopin. My New Years Resolution is to be off these toxic meds and to dump the "bipolar" label handed to me so easily by the mental health system.
 
THanks CH.

Back on subs today, 1mg. NOT starting another run. It was a one day mess up, I want to leave it at that. All it did really was remind me that heroin really doesn't make me happy anymore.
 
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